Why we dress the way we do

[Sophia]

I'm way too much of a tomboy to really deck myself out all that much.

I mean sure, my shirt and pants will be a little form fitting and cute, and I might put up my hair in an interesting way, but I haven't ever really gone all that "ty" for things like clubs and stuff.

I'm just a big one on comfortable "boarder style" clothing and girl tailored cargo pants and a semi loose T-shirt are both my style and comfortable.

Of course, I've been in denial of my gender identity for a long time, so it remains to be seen what styles I try out in the future.

*shrug*

I think the main reason why a lot of guys will stare or advance is not so much brainpower problems or insensativity. Its definately not something I would blame on women either.

I really think its more an issue that society teaches guys to be aggressive in pursuit and dating. So they'll feel like they aren't a man if they don't stare at me with their friends or hit on me in annoying ways. It isn't that they have small brains or don't think with anything but their penises (although I know a few that do.) Its just nasty social pressures that are just as unfair to guys as they are to us.

I'm sure many of us can understand these pressures. I know I can. They were pushed on me before I figured myself out.

And then the stupid gender divide, that causes guys to put us up on a pedestal or create an us and them mentality is something that I personally think is responsible for the amount of trouble women get in for just dressing a certain way.

But I have to agree that certain body types simply can't work with certain clothing. People need to wear what looks good on them. Rolls of fat coming out of peoples' clothing makes me shudder.

[Maebh]

  More useful is to always remember to be careful, be responsible for yourself, especially around strangers.  Just like Mama said!

Steph

May be Mama should wake up to reality: According to reliable statistics 80%, or 4 out of 5 (!) rapes and sexual assaults are commited by a person known to the victim. 
Without being a kill-joy, a more useful advise might be: to be responsible for yourself at all time specially if drink or any other mood-altering substance is involved.

LL&R

Maebh

[Sophia]

I wonder if there's a good way to gauge whether a person you're close to is a risk for being a rapist?

Because it makes it kinda hard to trust people with that knowledge that aquaintance rape is so prevalent.

[rhondabythebay]

A start...watch out for sociopathic tendencies, a lack of empathy for others.

Rhonda

[Maebh]

I wonder if there's a good way to gauge whether a person you're close to is a risk for being a rapist?

Because it makes it kinda hard to trust people with that knowledge that aquaintance rape is so prevalent.

Keep your antenae tuned-in and put an immediate stop   to any unappropriate comments, gestures or situations that you are not comfortable with. 

Hope this helps.

LL&R

Maebh

[Sophia]

Well luckily I don't think anyone I know fits those tendencies, but thanks for the advice!

I'll make sure to keep my eyes open, especially after I start going full time.

[debisl]

I do think since I went full time I am much more aware of my suroundings. Guys don't have to worry about that.
You realy never know who or what is stalking you. I don't think we need to be parinoid, but we do need to open our eyes. Men are attracted to women like bees on honey. We just have to accept that fact. We do not have to stand for vulgar remarks or rude advancements.
I myself quit going to G&L bars/clubs. I only go to straight places. Please don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong about those places. I just feel that I have moved on and if I am going to find the kind of guy I want I need to look else where.
I know where I live all I have to do is wear jeans and a belly top or something on that order and you can expect looks. If you have long hair you get looks. Nothing sexy in my opinion about jeans, but to men it is all the excuse they need to stare.
Now girls I do have to admit one thing. I am guilty too. I catch myself staring at the guys.

Deb

[Maebh]

Now girls I do have to admit one thing. I am guilty too. I catch myself staring at the guys.

Deb

And fair play to you gal! 

LL&R

Maebh