Hi switchZoEy,
Another big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. There is a mountain of information, resources and friendships for you here, so it's going to be relative easy for you to discover the real you.
Glad your partner was initially pleased, with your open honesty. One unwritten law in this community is if you are going to cross the line, make sure it's in your own clothes. Your partner may have taken offence at you wearing her personal attire. Check it out with her. If you don't ask, you'll never know.
It's really a BIG thing for them to try and understand in a matter of days, what you've known for some time. Be kind, loving and compassionate to her, she's going through a lot, as indeed you are too. The more she is on your side, the better it will be for you both.
Hope to hear more from you both in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine