Equal Marriage is not 'gay marriage'

[Padma]

Marriage equality is a hot topic here in the UK at the moment (as it is in a number of other places).

It's currently pissing me off that the media and politicians persist in referring to the issue as 'gay marriage' - even LGBT activists keep talking about 'gay and lesbian marriage'.

Equal Marriage is the only label that isn't exclusive - 'gay marriage' assumes anyone in a same-sex marriage is gay (what about us bisexuals? still invisible, eh...) - and 'same-sex marriage' of course has the exclusion of intersex and non-binary folk built into it.

I've brought this up with a number of people lately, face-to-face and online, and the thing that pisses me off personally is mainly the unconscious assumptions most people have that someone bisexual would (a) never want to marry (because everyone 'knows' bi people don't commit), and (b) even if they did would 'naturally' be marrying someone of the opposite sex. This is really pervasive - this idea that if you're the same sex as the person you're committing to, it's automatically a 'gay relationship'. Having to point out that a same-sex relationship can be between two bi people or a gay and a bi person seems absurd in this day and age, but with most people I've talked to about this it has been necessary.

[gennee]

Padma, a lot of people make a lot of assumptions about bisexuals and it's wrong in my mind.   

[justmeinoz]

I have the same problem with this issue.  I have a good friend who is Intersex, and I am Trans, where do we fit into all this? 
We  raised this with a Fundi at an anti-equality forum and you could see he just didn't have a clue how to respond.  Hopefully we gave him some food for thought.

Karen.

[Cindy]

A very good point. Same sex marriage is big here as well and the people against it are very vocal on it being 'gay' marriage. With the equally bizarre comment that in 'God's' eyes marriage has to between a man and a woman.  Again denying any biological variation in how humans develop.

I'm not a believer in Gods and the latest census supports that the majority of Australians do not follow a religion. So why should those who believe in Gods have the right to dictate to those who do not?

[Cindi Jones]

I don't think that the government should call it marriage.  I can think of several situations where people living together should enjoy the same rights as people who are married. I've known many people who live with others for all sorts of reasons. I think that you should be able to go down the government office, file a paper declaring yourselves a household, and that should be it. Then you have the same rights for survivorship, custody, inheritance, health care... whatever.

As for the marriage thing, you get married where you want, by someone you like... in your church... by a favorite clergy... or justice of the peace. Then you go down and file your household declaration.

Failing that, which will NEVER happen, anyone should be able to marry someone else. Why oh why does anyone else care? The world will not end.  Hopefully we'll get this behind us here in the states within the next decade. I'm pretty sure that it will happen. Then we can move on to the next social crisis.

Cindi

[Padma]

Aye. I think it's very simple (or should be): if it's legal to be in a relationship with someone, it should be legal to marry them, if you want that kind of commitment.

[MariaMx]

I have the same problem with this issue. I have a good friend who is Intersex, and I am Trans, where do we fit into all this? 
We  raised this with a Fundi at an anti-equality forum and you could see he just didn't have a clue how to respond.  Hopefully we gave him some food for thought.

Karen.

My husband and I found our selves in a very strange predicament when we were getting married in 2006. Back the there was regular marriage and same-sex marriage. My husband is a foreigner so we had to get married before his visa expired or else he'd have to leave the country for a year. Here in Norway everyone has a 5 digit PIN (personal identification number) that precedes your date of birth. If the middle digit of this number is odd you are male, if it is even you are female. I had had srs but my number had not yet been changed changed to even we couldn't get married. So I called up the court office and asked what to do and they'd suggest we'd have a gay marriage, which of course neither of us wanted, On top of that the paperwork for my PIN change was in the bureaucratic pipeline and would soon be changed, so if we for the purpose of being practical had gone with the gay marriage, it would have automatically been annulled the second my PIN was changed. The court clerks had no idea of what to do as this was the first time they had ever encountered this particular situation. My husband ended up having to run home and pack his bags and go stay with friends in England while we waited for the paperwork to go through. He spent almost 6 weeks there and came back with days to spare on his visa. Think we got married the day before it expired