I live in a small town in Maine.
It's especially hard being "stealth" when I'm twenty, my fat-distribution is mainly in my butt, but also in my hips, chest, upper/lower arms, and thighs. I'm not too-too worried about my 'beer gut' because those are common out here for men my age.
Regardless though, I have been identifying as male since I was five years old. I have been binding and packing since I was fifteen, and on Testosterone (on and off due to homelessness and switching doctors so much) since I was seventeen.
I am only five foot four, however that is not so uncommon these days for a man to be so short.
I am constantly in fear that people know that I am Trans. It's extremely discomforting and disphoric (sp?) at times...
I do not know of any other trans-men out here, only my adoptive father and a few friends back home in Boston, MA.
I am planning a trip to Thailand for my double mastectomy sometime soon. Most likely within the beginning of next year. That is something that I have dreamed about my entire life. Having to bind, I also wear several layers and sag my pants a tad to hide my shape. Its difficult though, considering my butt sticks out pretty far. But once I achieve my chest surgery... I am free to run, work out, and excersize at my own free will without fear of my binder ripping, someone noticing that things are bouncing that really shouldn't be, or my packer falling out in the middle of the gym...
I am also trying to set up my hysto with Dr. Gomez out in MA hopefully before this year is up. She is booking FAST.
If I can get those two surgeries within the next six months, I'll be the happiest I have ever been since I discovered binding and testosterone.
Since I am new to reaching out to other trans men online, if anyone has any insight or would like to share as well. I'm an open book.
