Transitioning alone.

[PrettySoldier]

No one other than my BF knows I am transitioning. We've been on & off since '09 because I could not commit. He's been in the navy since 2010 & now he is being transferred to Japan for at least 2 years. It sucks because NOW that I've finally become comfortable with commitment & wanting to pursue a serious long term relationship, he is going to the other side of the planet. I really need him to be by my side during this but now he is leaving this month & I won't see him & communication will be complicated. I don't even think I can do a long distance relationship so more than likely when he leaves, it will be over. I have very few friends & we rarely talk because they have their lives & are too busy with their relationships. I have the hardest time making friends because I am so introverted & it's giving off the impression I'm a bitch or stuck up. I just wish I had at least one very close friend, especially if they were trans too, who I could share with all the time & do things with. I don't even have anyone to just call up to go shopping with one afternoon. It sucks being home all the time especially cause I'm 22, I feel like I should be living it up. Thankfully there are forums like this which are helpful.

[jainie marlena]

first i would like to say welcome to susan's. I have been coming here for sometime. I have people around me but that does not change the feeling of loneliness that I have. I would give anything if I had someone like myself (Trans)to talk with so here I am.

[PrettySoldier]

Hi Jainie.    I too am hoping to meet & connect with lots of people here. It would make me a lot more happy to talk to others like myself. It is so weird to feel alone went you're not alone. I too have people around me [my family] all the time but I for some reason don't want to talk to them about this. Even if I did want to, it would be weird because we don't share that much.

[jainie marlena]

I know we all come from different back grounds but that does not change why we are here. I have made some friends here which has help me through a lot. I have yet to meet someone that lives close to me but maybe one day it wil happen.

[Hikari]

Perhaps going to a local trans group could be benificial, if you live in philly I am sure there is a few of them in a city that size. I have kicked around the idea of going to one locally just to meet some people i can share my feelings with who understand first hand where i am coming from, the only reason I haven't is that my work keeps me away so much.

Having people there for you, is a big part of the human expierence but, despite that sometimes we really have to work to come out of our shells and have meaningful interactions. I wish you the best of luck, and remember to have faith in yourself!

[MyKa]

I don't know about the relationship aspect for i have been single for 5 years now. I do know how you feel about everything else though. It sucks! I feel for you. I don't know what to do as I pulled away from everyone. I've went to a monthly meeting here once and felt uncomfortable and out of place.

[PrettySoldier]

I was thinking of attending one of the TG meetings that my clinic has. I just have bad anxiety & going to one myself would be uncomfortable for me unless I can somehow manage to get someone to go with me so I feel more at ease. I have to keep reminding myself to attempt to meet new people & stop thinking they'll just knock on my door. It's annoying that despite living in this big city with a thriving LGBT scene it seems making a friend is such hard work.

[MyKa]

My therapist set me up to me meet with another one of her patients at the meeting so I wouldn't be alone. I did go to pride this year and it was amazing!

[justmeinoz]

The facilitator at my TG group has asked me to meet with a couple of girls with social anxiety prior to meetings.  As it was neither turned up due to other reasons, but he did think it was a useful idea.  Being new, nobody will be surprised if you sit at the back and don't say much at first.
You have a lot of new friends here sis, so feel free to post away.

Karen.

[PrettySoldier]

I already feel welcome here, everyone is so kind  I will talk to my physician & get some more info on the TG meetings, I'm sure it will be worth going. I also found out about a popular TG night at a bar close by & I will definitely be checking that out.

[Natkat]

it really sucks, I has alot of people I know who lives or moved to japan..
its like the "amarican dream here" and it kinda depressing =( when you live so far away..
I tried something like long distance relationship and its very hard indeed, even simple thing as long distance friendship can be hard if your used to hang out and out of sudden you can only chat and maybe call once in a while..

[Meshi]

If you need someone to talk to..pm me and ill give you my #. Im not far from u. I know its hard, but next time, dont hookup with someone in the service or that travels alot for work, as it rarely works out.  There are alot of support groups in your area.

[Stephanie_b]

Except for the relationship part, I'm in the exact same predicament as you.   

[LordKAT]

The great thing about joining this site is, you are never alone.  Someone is available 24/7.

Welcome to Susan's.

[JoanneB]

I can never say enough how much finally finding and going to a TG group meeting was a life changer for me. I spent a good 50 years living just outside NYC dealing with my gender issues all alone. Besides being a shy introvert, some of the stories I've heard about various T' clubs in teh city worried me. From what I saw of some of the groups, they weren't exactly my cup of tea.

A few years ago a lot of my life went into the toilet. The only job I could find was 350 miles away in hillbilly country. Between those 2 events my gender issue came roaring back with a vengeance after a good 30 years of keeping it mostly at bay. I knew I needed some sort of support. It took a few months of fruitless Google searches before finding a glimmer of hope some 90 miles away! (Crazy considering I was living, at most, 9 miles from Times Square!)

It took a lot of effort to get myself to contact the groups facilitator/leader. I channeled my inner salesperson to make the in-person interview, followed by PT Barnum to leave the house for the meeting 3 weeks later. By the end of the evening I was 99% sure I'd be back next month. THe following month I was 100% sure I needed to be there. I haven't missed a meeting yet.

I was amazed just how different you see yourself and your problems when you are in a room full of others just like yourself. Although I researched about TSs since I was 14 or so, 40 years of knowledge meant nothing compared to that first nights experience.

I had like no choices with the closest group to me being 90 miles away. Luckily, that group was the perfect one for me. You may have to sample a few of the Philly groups to find just the right mix of people for you. Many are geared for CDs. I heard of one Baltimore group that excludes anyone on HRT.