Starting to finalize my 'coming out...'

[Attis]

Basically, since I consider myself more or less an androgyne, it seems sorta funny to realize that it may entail its own kind of transition. The first one is the most obvious and probably the easiest, which is my name change. I've already settled on Bred since it's a nice sounding name [it means braid in some translations and others it's a variation on Bridget (to be exalted)...], but my next step is find out what my options as being androgyne/genderqueer. Like should I consider electrolysis [or laser]? I think that part is easy too since I hate to shave and I hate facial hair. The next question would be, should I even consider finding a gender therapist? Should they even know how to aide me? More or less, the idea of having one would be nice for issues of employment and possibly HRT [if that would make sense for me and etc]. And finally, a choice in a job where my choice in appearance won't be so crucial [being a chinese kitchen employee clearly has its draw backs besides a fatter arse from eating left overs...], and that my skills in CS and Philosophy will be best utilized. I may have to become self employed soon [as in five years or so], but I prefer not to start with no history in my fields of work.

I guess I dropped myself into a 'category' that's really the hardest to quantify, or maybe it's easier to quantify its properties, just not easier to quantify the actions required.

-- Brede

[sparkles]

hi attis, was intersted in your post as im sort of in the same place at the moment, though i dont think il be changing my name would be good if i could as im not kean on mine. just started laser as i really did not like looking at my stubble it was the thing i saw first when i looked in the mirror. as for more than that physcially i dont know its hard to find a middle. i feel you can do a lot with the clothes you wear, and ive been working on this area. I know what you mean about a trasition it does feel like that sometimes though im a bit stuck as to what the goal is. also it seems a bit strange when you have already come out as transgendered to then come out again as something else. as for jobs im already in a socially female job as im a nurse so no probs there.

maybe we could all come up with an outline as to how we can achive verious androg states from both sides, though its so indevidual that, that probably will not work.

[Casey]

Actually Brede, I think the first transition is a mental one where we define ourselves outside the male/female one-or-the-other dichotomy. The name change follows from that.

A gender therapist is necessary (if I understand correctly) to start HRT but I'm not sure how that would help employment issues any. Androgynes and genderqueers are unprotected legally and seemingly unknown to the world at large. (Heck, we're seemingly unknown to parts of the Transgender community.) A gender therapist can be helpful as you try to find your place in a world that doesn't always have a place for you (internal), and sie can be a great comfort and support as you adopt an androgynic role in society (external). (Yeah K, that IS a much better word than "androgynous".)

I guess I dropped myself into a 'category' that's really the hardest to quantify, or maybe it's easier to quantify its properties, just not easier to quantify the actions required.

I'd say it's the latter. Other than the physical, we have the whole range of human experience to "choose" from. It's kind of like being given a huge block of plastic and the keys to a major department store and being told, "Make a manequin and dress it. However you make it look, whatever qualities you make it reflect, that's fine." With male and female it's easy/easier to tell when you're coloring outside the lines. We don't have lines. as long as we stay on the paper we're doing good. The freedom we gain from being androgynes and genderqueers can work against us when we try to "define" ("narrow") ourselves.

You can tell I'm struggling to put a concept into words when I use multiple metaphors in the same post.

[Kendall]

Yeah K, that IS a much better word than "androgynous".

Thanks!

Hi Brede,
I would type more but I'm tired and want to sleep. Must be from the "andvanced androgyne" posts. Will respond another day when I am not so tired.