Soon, Soon

[Rita]

So I have also come to the point that if I don't tell my parents I will explode into little itty bitty Rita pieces.

Trust me you dont want that to happen O-o I don't taste very good.. nyoooo don't eat meeeeee por favor.  But I will not allow the opportunity for that!  No matter how enticing a bat of itty Rita pieces can be O-o.

It has taken me a while, because obviously coming out is a once in a life time event.  Thats what makes us so scared, everything will change with the words "I am a girl".  Years upon years of your existence will funnel into one point in time that will change the definition of your relationship to your loved ones.

I am not scared of something negative coming out of it, of course I will be shy at first and probably not act much different round them but I need to say something, its my major road block atm since they see me every day.  Once they know I can actually go out and not have to worry about shocking their system at some random point in time.


I have given myself no time limit, but within 1 month to prepare emotionally and set up the right conditions.

I plan on starting with my mother because she is more understanding about change ans situations.  My father understands but probably wouldn't be able to properly process it initially.

Option 1
My idea is to invite her to dinner, have a nice night out with her.  Tell her I have something to tell her later on, but nothing to worry about its not a bad thing because it really is not!  And after a nice enjoyable night, I slowly ease her mind into my life and my situation.

Option 2
Same as above, but I make myself super prettied up and 100% female and meet her.  I tell her over the phone to not make mention of anything she sees, everything will be explained.  And we talk normally and have a nice meal and then finally after she has  seen me and hopefully held back on her questions we can talk.

Option 1 is easier, but doesn't really show her me
Option 2 is harder, but allows her to get an even deeper understanding.

So anyone has ever come out in a similar way to option 2?  My main worry is I wouldn't want her to think I am a cross dresser because I am not!

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I vote for option 1.  Maybe take some photos.

Option 2 could cause her to just leave, and you would not get to tell her.

[Beverly]

Option 3 - Write a one or two page letter explaining that you want to set down the main points and give her time to consider them. Emphasize that this is a recognised medical condition for which you are receiving supervised medical treatment. It is not a lifestyle choice.

Post the letter, give it a few days and invite her over. Do not "dress up" or plaster yourself with make up. You are a woman not a drag queen so dress casually. By all means wear discreet ladies' trousers or perhaps a plain tailored blouse. She will be worried and frightened enough so a "dressed-down" you will help her accept you.

This has to be a meeting of minds - you get to start your progression and she gets help from you to make accepting you easier. In 3 or 6 months you can ramp up your appearance. Do not make it difficult for your friends and family. If you show them consideration then they will notice that and be grateful for it. They can be a great support but they need your support as well. This is a two way street. It is not all about you. Too many of us forget that...

[Rita]

Of course I wouldn't plaster myself in makeup eww xD, to be honest I look fine without. 

I actually have a letter drafted and sitting at home.  I was going to send it to them but, I did not want to give them that window of... doubt or fear.  I wont want to have the window o blunt terror waiting for them to read it either.

But I understand where your going, and once I rewrite it i'll definitely post it here.  As with all conversation though nothing will ever go as planned like in a letter though.  Not everything will be said, not everything will be needed to say ^^.

[Beverly]

I have PM'd you a copy of my letter in case it can be of some help.

[Rita]

I saw it and read it lightly, i'll give it a more thorough review tonight ^.^

its very clear cut and too the point though on the parts I did skim though.

[Rita]

Just an update, since nothing in life works out the way you plan it hehe.

I told my mom we needed to talk alone later this week,, wel this was last week.  It never happened because something else happened to me(love life) that made me too meh to even bother trying.

But this is it, its going to hapen.  She randomly told me I don't care what it is, i'll always love you and I feel confident its going to be ok ^^

Not that I have much a choice xD at work in guy mode my co worker tells me at least 3 people have asked her whether its a guy or a girl xD

-Rita

[Emily Aster]

I did option 3 without the dress code change myself. Option 2 sounds like the shock factor alone could send the conversation in the wrong direction.

[Brooke777]

I would go with option 1. I think option 2 could be a bit too much.

It does sound like things will go smoothly. I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how it goes.

[Rita]

Oh yea I am well past that, just gonna come out as she normally sees me ^.^

[natastic]

It has taken me a while, because obviously coming out is a once in a life time event.  Thats what makes us so scared, everything will change with the words "I am a girl".  Years upon years of your existence will funnel into one point in time that will change the definition of your relationship to your loved ones.

I'm not implying that this isn't the case with some folks in our lives, but my experience has been that coming out really hasn't changed the definition of my relationships with people I'm close to in my life.  Eerily, unexpectedly, almost aggrivatingly, nothing has changed.  Except pronouns and other little niceties.

The more than happens in my transition, I've found that the anticipation of certain things has more gravity than the actual things themselves.

Good luck with coming out -- I like the idea of making a whole to do about it with dinner and whatnot.  For me, I was too damn scared to think straight, and most of my comeouts are just blurted out when my brain screams "GO GO GO DO IT NOW OR YA AIN'T GONNA!"