Planning to stay in "boy mode" for a while after starting HRT?

[Reagan]

I have to tell you I frequently go back and forth. Some days I'm a boy and some I'm a girl. I think it's all about comfort at the beginning because it can be a little awkward. I'm about four months into HRT and I'm showing good progress, but sometimes I have to present as a boy. I'm still in the processes of getting my name changed and if I go somewhere that I need to present my I.D. then it's usually easier to just go in boy drag. It's odd doing this because sometimes I confuse myself. Like the other day I was at the movies with my daughter and we went to use the restroom. I was in male mode and forgot until I was walking into the ladies room. That's when my daughter cleared her throat and was like hey are you forgetting something? I was like oops. We started laughing about it and she said I was wondering how long it would take before you went into the wrong bathroom. So we both got a good laugh. So do what ever makes you feel comfortable. There are no written rules that you must follow. It's your transition.

[Kevin Peña]

I'd say it's a good strategy. Come out when you're ready. Plus, holding off on any changes until you can actually pass will save you a lot of hassle. Just be patient; you already started HRT, so you'll only have to wait a little longer.

[Dee]

This is what I plan on doing, too.  Just ease in, and I'm sure the moment will click.  Though, I do want to start laser/electrolysis first...I'm pretty skinny as it is, and considering my genetics, well, I guess I should be prepared for stepping out of 'boy mode' sooner than anticipated, if necessary 

Glad to see I'm not the only one with this plan too, haha

[Apples]

Same for me, since I still cannot fully identify myself with a gender. At this time RLE is not mandatory anymore, and I plan to keep on guy/neutral mode at work, since I don't want to take any risks. Plus, at my age HRT is going to need a long time to make effect, and without FFS I don't hink I can pass.


In any case, I better start with laser, finish killing the abdominal fat and build a bit of muscle so that the hormones have something to work with...

[Kevin Peña]

Just some advice, if you work in a place with a lot of people, you might want them to make an announcement before you go full time, preferably with you not there if you want to avoid a plethora of questions, just to give people some warning.

[Apples]

Dunno. Not so sure if starting at 30.5 will carry significant changes. Still thinking this is madness.

[Carolina1983]

Dunno. Not so sure if starting at 30.5 will carry significant changes. Still thinking this is madness.

I am 29, started HRT 3,5 months ago and have problems hiding my breasts already, many are commenting on me loosing weight (but I am not loosing any). I have taken pictures each month and both me and my wife are pretty stunned because my face does look alot thinner now.


Also the rest of my body is racing and will soon look more female than male.



You are not far from me when it comes to age so I would not be too pessimistic.

[Apples]

29 and already married??? You would't believe how much I envy you on that! I wish I could truly fall in love with somebody and feel that this is THE TIME.


I wish I could have a little more faith on myself. Yesterday I was crying when 8888 did that morph of myself and trying to know when I lost contact with my inner child and became a sad, sad being, decided to do this no matter the cost, but when the night comes, everything turns dark for me. Maybe I should disconnect during this part of the day and play something online or see a movie... It's the time I tend to overthink the most. After that, I barely can sleep, scared all the night.



Oh. Duh. You made me think about something. My mother has more or less normal breast, but half of her sisters are into the gigantic territory. This could be a total roulette (and I already have a bit of breast, not sure if gym induced gynecomastia or fat moobs).
Another problem is that I work face to face with 50 different people and I need to move constantly visiting them. Most of the women at the agency tend to keep a close eye on me since I am the second youngest person and notice every small change on my body (like the constant fat loss). Mmmmm. If I get approved I will have to talk with H.H.R.R., which at least are like a family to me.

[Tristan]

saying in boy mode is hard. i know for me after the BA that was hard. and after the FFS i could not to save my life   

[PaigeM]

I have been on HRT for about 5 months now, but still in boy mode 6/7ths of the week. I am the full time caregiver for my wife, who has ALS, so I don't always feel like getting dressed and made up. Glad to hear I am not the only one not in a hurry. I have had some breast development, but my gut still sticks out farther they they do (Dr. might be adding P to my E next week; hopefully that will change!). Most change is in my skin; I have been told I look "different" but they couldn't put my finger on why. I asked one close friend, who knows, if I looked like an ugly man in drag, and she said "you don't look like a man when you're dressed as a man", so I guess it is working 
I have been "Ma'am'ed" a few times when not trying

Paige

[luna nyan]

If you're not feminising everthing on your face you could possibly get away with it for a long time.  (ie leave the brows alone, don't grow out the hair etc).

I've been done with electro over 9 years ago (pop in once a year for a touchup), low dose HRT since March this year, no issues at work as yet.  Then again I'm not planning to transition.

[JohnnieRamona]

I've now been on HRT for 6 weeks and I'm already worried about people noticing my growing breasts. However, for now I still have a beard, so I'm hoping I'll be able to pass them off as "man boobs" if I need to for a while. What's the next move once I NEED to hide them? Compression shirts? Anyone in that position of having to hide their breasts in boy mode? I'm not there yet, but I know that day is coming.

[Ave]

I've now been on HRT for 6 weeks and I'm already worried about people noticing my growing breasts. However, for now I still have a beard, so I'm hoping I'll be able to pass them off as "man boobs" if I need to for a while. What's the next move once I NEED to hide them? Compression shirts? Anyone in that position of having to hide their breasts in boy mode? I'm not there yet, but I know that day is coming.

just buy a compression shirt or an underworks binder?

[stb820]

I had this question, just going the other way. Good luck!

[Alainaluvsu]

=/ I just let mine hang out. I was a large A cup  about 8 months in (the end of when I wanted to present as a guy). Nobody seemed to sat anything about them or treat me like I was a transsexual. I think you have a while before you have to worry about people putting 2 and 2 together. Honestly I don't think most cis people see a man with small breasts and say "MtF transsexual!"

[Rita]

Between boy and girl mode, fear is your greatest enemy.  Stepping from fear to comfort is easy, once you notice no one cares as much as you do.

But I wouldn't rush it,  alot of people just seem to go crazy and buy random female clothes and all I can say is nuh uh.  That is the last thing you wanna do, first you need to visualize your female self in outfits to figure out what kind of style suits you.  Sometimes you dont even need makeup to look fine.

[Alainaluvsu]

Between boy and girl mode, fear is your greatest enemy.  Stepping from fear to comfort is easy, once you notice no one cares as much as you do.

But I wouldn't rush it,  alot of people just seem to go crazy and buy random female clothes and all I can say is nuh uh.  That is the last thing you wanna do, first you need to visualize your female self in outfits to figure out what kind of style suits you.  Sometimes you dont even need makeup to look fine.

I agree totally. Every trans woman should mold to their style. Nothing sticks out as awkwardly as a girl who dresses awkwardly. When a girl wears clashing colors, or even worse, when a transsexual wears clothes that highlight their bad features, it draws so much negative attention. Cis women have to deal with this, and they also get negative reactions out of people. I'm not saying I'm going to look at those less who disregard what I'm saying, but I'm warning you that others will. I'd go so far as to say you will get less negative attention if you're clockable, yet classy; than if you're unclockable, yet the clothes you put yourself in are terrible for you (or terrible together).

I mean I have some lovely clothes that I hate because they don't fit me right... and IDK how many ridiculously gorgeous clothes I've seen in stores that I had to pass on because the color was off against my skin or hair... or I go into the dressing room and they make my waistline look way too high, or make my hips look non existant, etc etc.

Most importantly, fear is DEFINITELY your worst enemy. People sense insecurity and read it well.

Imagine this: you go in a McDonalds and you're presenting as female. The clerk says "SIR!" .... What happens if you freeze stiff? Compare that to if you just look around as if you're waiting for somebody to come up so you can move out of their way for them to answer the clerk. If you freeze stiff ... you're probably as good as clocked. If you're calm and like whatever, don't answer... you may learn that the clerk wasn't even talking to you and you haven't been outed. Freezing and getting wide eyed, getting embarrassed etc just opened you up to HUGE embarrassment.

Same if you're walking around shivering and looking like you're hiding a stolen baby under your jacket trying to cover your boobs. People will be paying more attention to what's under that jacket.

It's such a conundrum / catch 22 / whatever we face throughout our lives. We have to learn to be defensive but not show it. We have to be confident even though we aren't sure we have a reason to be. It's kinda like we have to train ourselves to lie, and be REALLY good at it... almost to the point of passing polygraphs.

[Rita]

I think our subconscious nature will always respond to "sir" every so often.  I think the best way to handle it is to learn poker face when such mistakes happen and pretend you were looking around   

[Apples Mk.II]

I think our subconscious nature will always respond to "sir" every so often.  I think the best way to handle it is to learn poker face when such mistakes happen and pretend you were looking around   

One funny thing. I don't know about other countries, but here, using "Señor" (Sir) or "usted" (really polite form of you/"tú") is a direct ticket for problems.
When I started working at my current place, the first two weeks I used a suit or really formal office clothing / semi suit. And since there was still no confidence, I was using the "polite" versions on people ranged between 45-55. Until my manager told me "They have told me that you are using the "usted", you better stop." "Same thing happened to a new security guard.

Using the polite forms makes people feel really old, and they hate it, myself included. To get back home I need to walk next to school's ground, and when kids lose the ball over the fence and politely ask me to pass it again...

"Señor, ¿por favor nos puede pasar la pelota?"("Sir, could you please throw the ball back?")

Instant rage attack, and pondering about stabbing the damned football. I ended exploding into "What the heck with "Sir"? I'm only 26! Say guy, dude or just "hey you" or I'm not throwing it!



I have real ragefits when it comes to my age, and If I were to hear "señora" I'd kill somebody. I wonder what will happen if my mind decides to switch pronouns... But the real problem is that in spanish the usage of gendered words and expression tends to be higher than in english, so more room for mistakes.

[Rita]

Hehe xD  Senorita depends on your spanish.  Sometimes it can be be used for a younger lady.

But Sir and Mam is universal in the united states.