Does anyone else feel this way?

[Edge]

*big bear hugs for Ativan*
Yeah, we know you are speaking from compassion and that is some rather good advice. I'm currently watching youtube videos as a lighthearted distraction.
I'm of the kind of personality that needs to dissect and understand everything especially myself. I'm not happy if I don't. That's just my personality type though and I like having this personality type, but I understand that not everyone does.
That and talking about this does help make me feel less alone plus people saying that they used to be where I am gives me hope that I will get used to this. Or I might turn out to be binary and just be slower than usual. Who knows.

[aleon515]

Jay Jay, AG, and Edge.
I meant no offense, I had a hard time trying to relate that.
...
Jay Jay, I have great difficulties with depression.
I am bipolar, my manic is just a little crazy, yet fun.
My depressive states have led me to many stays in Psyche Units....

....
I'll leave it alone. It wasn't my place to say anything.

Ativan

I knew you did not mean offense. And I didn't take it that way, except, it is a hard thing following a post that's all light and breezy with any apparent heavy stuff.

I have a similar history of depression (no manic part). I am watching this. I seem to be distractible with my feelings for now. Last night I spent a wonderful hour or so watching old Sally Ride stuff. The ability to feel positive feelings, that's really important in  how severe depression is.

Being a member of this forum gives you the "right". It's normal to step on each other's toes (so to speak) now and again.

--Jay Jay

[helen2010]

Does anyone else struggle being non-binary? Does anyone else feel trapped by it? What do you do?
(Unfortunately, talking to a therapist is not an option.)

Edge 


I have found being non binary to be at times a struggle, a conflict, an uneasy truce, a trip, a journey, a discovery, a  curse and a blessing.  It has been a process,  a path towards accepting and understanding myself and others.  It has been non- linear, moving to and from understanding myself as a successful and stereo typical male, a cross dressing male, a more sensitive male, potentially a mtf ts;, a male with gid, a tg mtf, and currently a tg mta. 


Along the way I have started and restarted counselling, psychiatric therapy, hrt, had full ffs and found respite or comfort from low dose hrt.  I am now no longer fleeing towards safety or from discomfort but am now less easily  labelelled.  The ever present need to cross dress or present as female has disappeared. I dont 'need' the breasts that have started to grow, I do love the greater emotional amplitude, and I am finally in a good place even though I dont think it has a name, has boundaries or normal city limits.   Will I stay here - I dont know.  Am I here because I am scared that I wont 'pass' or that I will hurt or lose family and friends - perhaps, but for the first time I am not beating myself up. 


The stress that normally heightens the GID has quietened, the destructive self critique has stopped and for the moment I am celebrating the journey and what it is to be born human with all of our weaknesses and flawed understandings.  I am in a good place.