Hi Snowman,
A bit Aussie welcome to Susan's family. I'm pleased you've dropped in looking for someone who can relate. With a family this size there has to be someone who fully understands. However, in the meantime, have you considered a therapist? They are trained to sort out the mess we find ourselves in from time to time, and can very very productive for us.
As many have said so far, there are many different versions of this community, and it's just a matter of finding the part you relate to.
I hope to hear more about your successes in time to come, but in the meantime, keep in touch and let us know how you are coping.
Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine