Hi VOC,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. I'm proud of you for having made that decision to deny denial. How liberating it can be. It's a hare place for you to be with your relatively new marriage. I hope you are able to develop an open communication channel between yourselves in order to work through this process. Not easy; but can be done. Ultimately there is a price we have to pay, for this journey. Nothing comes free. At the end of the day, it's all about YOU. Where do you want to be? and how do you want to get there?
As you are no doubt aware, this doesn't go away. But the good news is, even at the tender young age of 29, there is a lot of room for you to develop and grow into the person YOU want to/destined, to be.
Regarding gender therapists, there is a resources section here that is quite extensive. Have a look there and see if you can see a therapist in your local area.
I look forward to hearing more of your story i time to come, however in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine