New to the forum...

[cartmonkey23]

Well....where to begin.  I have lived 27 years as female.  I have always been a tomboy.....since I came out as gay at 18...I have always worn mens clothing and had my hair cut short.  Without a doubt...I pass as male even at work....when I am not trying to.  I have been thinking I maybe trans for awhile.  I just think it was in the back of my mind....but now its at the front.  I am trans.  I have been with a wonderful woman for almost three years.  We were engaged.  I had to tell her what I was thinking because I felt it was not fair to hide it..and I could not be who I wanted to be without telling her.  She has cried I think everyday since I told her which is to be expected.  We have postponed our wedding because of all of this.  She asked me all sorts of questions that I dont have answers to.  She is sticking by me...but I think the biggest thing is that she identifies as lesbian and it is important to her.  I dont know what will happen...but in the end I have to be happy with myself.  I just got my first binder from the mail from underworks and I am very excited about it. 

I think I have always known....but as I have said before I put it in the back of my mind because coming out as a lesbian was hard enough....I did not want to think about coming out as trans.  But now that I have realized it within myself.....and told my fiance....I have never felt better about it.  I know I have a long way to go...but I am ready for he journey.  This forum has helped me.  I am looking for a gender therapist here in Connecticut if anyone knows of any.  I am seeing one now...but...dont even ask.  She has issues with the gay thing...I dont even want to go there with the trans thing. 

Since I have came out to my fiance she even says there have been changes within me...with the way I act...our commication....the way I present myself.  I guess I have actually begun to understand myself....anyway...I just wanted to post...because I have not...I am sure I will be on here alot...with alot of questions.  Thanks!

[Christopher]

Hello,
   I am still rather new here myself but have enjoyed reading posts and have learned ALOT. I too have purchased the underworks binder as a result of reading the posts and it has really made an incredible difference for me. Congratulations and Welcome. I look forward to hearing more from you along your journey. You are almost my neighbor being over there in CT...I am just across the water in NY.
  As far as that counselor you've been seeing....maybe you should consider finding another one that doesn't have issues with your issues. Its important to be able to talk freely with someone who is willing to help you be the "real" you. I think the fact that you have already noticed "changes" just my mentally accepting your situation shows that you are heading down the right path. Keep pushing forward. We're with ya!

[Dennis]

Welcome to the forums. You did a good thing by telling your partner before the wedding. I didn't realize it until after I got married, and being trapped in a marriage and not feeling right is hell.

I second the recommendation about finding a therapist who can deal with trans stuff. It's not going to do you any good if you have to skirt around the issue. You'd just be throwing your money away.

Dennis