It's been just about 2 months since I came out to my first friend. (You can read an edited version of my letter here
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,120942.0.html )
I have since come out to more and more people. To this point, everyone has been unbelievable and accepting and loving. The girls, in particular can't wait to include me.
No one has even come close to having a negative reaction. I say this not to brag but to give others hope who may be afraid to come out. I was so scared that I was going to lose friends and be shunned but it has been so far from the case.
The closest I came to a threat was when one of my friends told me she'd hate me if I wind up with bigger boobs than her.
Such a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I am noticeably happier and more relaxed, this according to my friends when I tell them.
After I told my roommates, I have started dressing more androgynous in the house. It has been such a big difference that I have started building up my wardrobe.
Another friend took me to help pick out shampoo and conditioner. Her father is a hair dresser and she has hair like mine. She also said that he will help me when I'm ready to style it or if I want to put in extensions.
Last week, she helped me pick out a razor and the moment I got back from Comic Con, I shaved my body and legs.
Oh yeah, Comic Con... I went down there last weekend with my business partner (who knows) and a few other of our friends who don't know yet. I know that he and his wife are accepting, in fact I found out that I'm not the first MTF that they know, another friend of theirs began transition about a year ago! Walking around with him all weekend was great. Again, I know he doesn't have a problem but spending the entire weekend with him and not detecting an iota of a difference between how he acted and how he may have if he didn't know. In private, we rib on each other a bit about it, which again, is fine with me. The only time it came up was when we went to dinner with my roommate, our publicist and 2 others. My roommate made a joke that only we could hear about how I need to be watching my figure...
As I said, at home, I can wear what I want. I normally wear my regular t shirts but wear yoga capri pants or capri leggings (which I LOVE and wearing right now). Since I came out to my roommates, I dress like this at home every day. Going away for 4 days, having to leave Ashley at home was a bit too much to bare so I painted just my pinkey finger with a subtle color. Just looking at it made me happy. No one noticed so I kept it on all week, even at work.
I guess the point I'm making is that coming out is a scary thing to do. I'm shocking a lot of people because apparently I kept it pretty well hidden but now that more and more people know, I am truly happier, more relaxed and in the words of one my dear friends "less of an ->-bleeped-<-."
I know we all have different situations and backgrounds but for me, coming out has been one of the great experiences. I still have more friends to tell and the dreaded family but to this point, it's been great and has given me a lot of confidence to move forward.
