Regrets and dealing with things...

[Elsa]

Hi folks,

Yesterday I realized that its been 1 and a half year since I stopped HRT and I am really regretting it... am I the only one?

What are the effects of one getting off HRT and back on? also in-between had some very low dose HRT medicines.

I am sure this will affect my overall transition in some way but aside from fat build-up and muscles, skin ageing and hair-loss on the scalp and hair coming back which I think are reversible except for the hair coming back on other parts of body and face.

It seems my bones have stopped growing at age 19/20 - sadly had I started to transition at age 15 like I wanted to - without my parents or anyone knowing I would have except I had no money and even then I had no way of knowing how... also my "friends" really made me ashamed of being myself because of which I put if off out of fear.

Now I wonder what my home of transitioning are if I restarted HRT at almost 25 years of age...

Even my ex who at that time was adamant that if we are to be in a relationship I need to stop HRT, Or keep being on HRT and be happy but now even she admits I need to get back to HRT. Although I kind of wonder what she REALLY feels about it since she tries to avoid discussing it in detail...

Any ideas...

[Lexicaligari]

I will admit its my gut reaction here, but here goes: Buy that chick a bus ticket to Clue Town and make sure she gets on it!

My family manipulated the hell out of me when I started and even told me that the Economic Crash which left me penniless and unable to keep on therapy in the early 2000s was God's signal to me that I was bad. It poisoned my mind terribly. Never underestimate how crazy your friends can be. Especially the ones that say "I Love You" Learn to recognize Toxic Love, and don't go near it.

You are still young- Hell the bones in your skull are still fusing at 25! Its SO not "too Late" If you CAN get back on- Get Back On. And forget anyone who ask for such outlandish conditions for a relationship. She sounds childish, selfish, and cowardly. At this point in your life you REALLY don't need that hot mess.

*pause* sorry but this one got my goat. I am already to pretty and sweet again-
Lexi-

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Vibes,

Best idea would be to hook back up with an Endo who can give you a full checkout and appraisal. Get you back on the proper HRT regime and avoid anyone, like the plague, who is negative towards your needs/desires.

Get in touch with a gender therapist and have a check up from the neck up. Re establish your goals/desires and follow them, whatever they happen to be.

By then you'll be back on track, felling a 100% better and looking forward to your destiny with anticipation. Hope this works for you. It will if you want it to.

Be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Beth Andrea]

Be true to yourself FIRST.

At the first sign of abuse/manipulation in a relationship, EJECT EJECT EJECT.

Good luck!

[MadelineB]

...
Now I wonder what my [hopes] of transitioning are if I restarted HRT at almost 25 years of age...

Even my ex who at that time was adamant that if we are to be in a relationship I need to stop HRT, Or keep being on HRT and be happy but now even she admits I need to get back to HRT. Although I kind of wonder what she REALLY feels about it since she tries to avoid discussing it in detail...

Any ideas...

They say that the proof is in the pudding. If you liked who you were and how you felt on HRT better than how you've been off of HRT, then you have your answer. Time to make pudding again!

At 25, your body will be very responsive to treatment - just see your doctor who can prescribe anti-androgens, estrogens, and where appropriate, medication to restore hair on your crown and prevent further hair loss which act specifically on the hormone derivatives in our system which cause hair loss etc.

It isn't hopeless at 45, but at 25, wow, you've got a lot of great ingredients to work with.

P.S. Isn't it wonderful that even someone who was deeply opposed to your transitioning steps for selfish reasons, now recognizes how you need to be allowed to transition for the sake of your own happiness? It doesn't really matter what others think, but it's still nice to get that feedback.

[Elsa]

Thanks sooo much for the support girls!

it's nice to know there is still hope although everytime that I think I had just turned 23 when I started HRT and got off after just 6 months ... I feel like hitting myself on the head! and I cant help feeling like an idiot and getting angry at myself...

I just hope my body has not masculinzed too much since then and feel like a jerk for ignoring warnings from folks here - I should have listened - am soooooo sorry...

now I will be 25 in 6-7 weeks... have already started HRT last month...

Yes it nice to have someone supporting me although she is not completely comfortable - I would not blame her since we were VERY close and still are.

But I am glad that I got to spend time with a wonderful person like her and I do hope she is happy and I will miss being more than just a friend/sis to her 

I just hope neither of us suffer because of each other...

[suzifrommd]

it's nice to know there is still hope although everytime that I think I had just turned 22 when I started HRT and got off after just 6 months ... I feel like hitting myself on the head! and I cant help feeling like an idiot and getting angry at myself...

I hope you are not coming down on yourself too hard for backing away and waiting.

Although time brings deterioration to our bodies, it brings wisdom to our minds. It is likely you have learned things in the meantime that will make your transition smoother. You have a better understanding of yourself - that has uncountable benefits.

Consider looking at the delay as a benefit rather than a misfortune.

[Elsa]

Thanks agfrommd!!! ::hugs::

I hope so I really really do ...

speaking of deterioration:

Also forgot to mention - some of the changes that occurred initially when I was on HRT stopped while others receded

so yup... my muscles have gone back to what they were at start of transition...

I don't remember what my face looked like back then - but aside from a few millimeters of bone growth on the chin and cheekbones and overall fat deposit and muscle, etc its seems almost the same... but I cant tell for sure ... I shudder when I think of what would have happened if I waited longer...

Boobies are still there although very small and lost complete sensation ... they have become like man boobs

so yup ... restarting HRT is going to give me messed up results initially... but hopefully over time it will sort itself out...

[GendrKweer]

Lemme put it this way: The biggest regret of almost anyone who is certain they should transition is NOT DOING IT EARLIER! I'm 35, still feeling great, but boy, had I been able to do this at your age, or better yet, at 15..... I cry for the lost time, and I know I'm one lucky girl even at 35. If you're sure, run don't walk to your endocrinologist.

[collettemichelle]

It's great that you have been able to step to one side and relook at this part of you.Now you can go forward without that previous doubt.
Still an Endocrinologist and Therapist are essential for safety and direction.
P.S. I was 48yrs when I started with hormones and the changes are more than evident in the year since;so be at peace and enjoy all there is.

[Elsa]

Thank you soooooo much everyone... you have given me hope that I can still do this despite the time that has passed
I feel like crying - although it would be tears of joy and hope...

: a big hug to everyone:

[AbraCadabra]

For what it's worth mentioning... I transitioned at 64! 2 years back.

RLE, HRT (first DIY for one month or two, then 'legal'), then SRS one year back, now FFS and BA.

Maybe my age actually help me not to procrastinate?

Regrets? "No... Je ne regrette rien!" No regrets.
Regrets are emotional backpacks that impede life's journey, um.

Axélle