Anyone else feel this way?

[Emily Mae]

I was told that the way I have been feeling lately is common, and is known as dysphoria? I just want to know and make sure that it isn't me just going mentally insane.

As of late I have been almost in a depressed state, but it isn't really a depressed state. It is more like constantly feeling annoyed, frustrated, and upset all at the same time. I have felt almost as if everything is against me, and I keep trying to tell myself that that isn't the case it is just in my head, but it doesn't work.

Like when people say certain things even though it isn't in a mean way, or meant to be towards me; in my head I think it is a personal attack or something like that and I get really upset. Or else little things that shouldn't matter make me really frustrated and aggravated. An example of this is like a friend of mine I told about me on the internet seemed to stop talking to me online, and I know that they are just away most of the time they don't pay attention to their computer, I know that; but for some reason every time they don't reply I think I upset them or they are mad at me for something.

Then like coincidences are like all over the place that I can't stand that just make it seem like everything is mocking me. Like the past week I have tried to watch two of my favorite shows, Degrassi and Family Guy. Everytime I tried to watch degrassi the episode is one where a gay guy isn't accepted by his family or friends, or the transgender guy in school gets bullied and beat up. Then on Family Guy the episode I tried to watch last night was one where they talk about suicide, and the one tonight is where Quagmire's dad gets an SRS causing them to get into a fight, and everyone laughed at Ida (quagmire's dad). And that just ruins my night and I usually end up getting more frustrated at things and people because of it.

I don't like feeling this way, and I wanted to have a small rant about it. It is really hard to explain how I am feeling so I hope this makes sense.

[Jamie D]

"Dysphoria" is defined as  "an emotional state characterized by anxiety, depression, or unease. "

From time to time,we all have "down" times and, in some case, depressive episodes.  If they are common for you, or are affecting other aspects of you life, then it would be good to consider talking with a professional.

If your gender identity is causing your problems, then see if you can locate a specialist called a "gender therapist."

[Emily Mae]

I am just going to add onto this instead of creating a new topic.

I really hate the way my voice is and it seems I can't make it any more sounding female right now. I play some games that use a voice chat server and I hate it because everyone knows I am physically a guy. It is hard to even play the game because I just wish I was seen as a girl on there.

so that is my ARGHHH! feeling for today.

[spacial]

Hello Emily Mae.

Dysphoria is probably a fancy way of saying depressed with sadness. It won't make a lot of difference for you right now, but feeling that those who are not actually speaking are rejecting you is also not uncommon.

I won't dismiss your feelings and neither should you. I will dismiss such a contradictory label and will urge you not to doubt yourself. Feeling as fragile as you do, self doubt is something you don't need right now.

As for your voice. If you can find a video of Heather Small speaking then listen to her voice. She is a mother.  Her voice is deep and with a bit of work, could pass as male. But it's tone, attitude, self respect and self image. Few could doubt she is a woman. If you enter Heather Small Interview into youtube you might hear one that hasn't been blocked in your country.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Emily,

Thank you so very much for your "AARGHHH"  Dear god girl, you are just soooo normal. Some of us have days like that.

Do you have a book or any readings that are positively motivated or an autobiography that lifts your spirit. If not, may I suggest you look for some. When you are 'dogged' by these feeling of frustration and anxiety you need something that will correct the excessive negative input you are experiencing. Be it positive motivation of something that will make you laugh. Laughing is a very good indicator for your general mental health.

I watched a programme on our ABC the other day that looked at brain function of both optimist and pessimist, and how endorphins worked at creating a happy disposition.  To make a long story short, for a healthy well balanced, concise thinking strategy mind, we need to input a lot of positive motivation or at least something that will make us laugh.

If you are interested and can get the Aussie ABC, iView on your PC, I'll get you the address of this programme. Really interesting info on how the brain processes stuff

Be safe,,well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine.     

[spacial]

I've just re-read my response #3 and realise it is a bit garbled. Sorry I do that. 

What I was trying to say is, don't doubt yourself.

Question and rethink your ideas, your resolve, but don't doubt who you believe yourself to be. That's silly and anyone suggesting it is just nasty.