Confused: FTM vs Butch?

[Icarus389]

A trans friend I know used to ask undecided people, "What if you could transition now, just instantly transition, and be guaranteed that you wouldn't lose family, friends, job, home, or anything else you value? Would you do it?" I guess he uses that question to separate the people who don't want to transition from the people who do want to but who are held back by fear. Does that question help at all?

Ha! That's a good question. Yes, I would transition, so I agree that it places me in the section of people who do want to transition but I'm held back by fear. I think transitioning would bring me closer to being myself, not that "myself" is entirely male, but falls more in alignment with male than female. 

Thanks Arch, I think you really have helped me out.

[insideontheoutside]

A trans friend I know used to ask undecided people, "What if you could transition now, just instantly transition, and be guaranteed that you wouldn't lose family, friends, job, home, or anything else you value? Would you do it?" I guess he uses that question to separate the people who don't want to transition from the people who do want to but who are held back by fear. Does that question help at all?

While I get this question, I think it's an unfair question. That's like asking, "If you could have your version of a perfect, functioning male body right now without any surgery or anything, would you?" I wouldn't assume those who choose not to transition are held back by fear. There's a ton of factors involved in choosing no, just as there are a ton of factors involved in choosing yes. Unfortunately we don't live in the reality of magic wands and genies who grant 3 wishes to make everything instantly perfect for us all

[Arch]

While I get this question, I think it's an unfair question. That's like asking, "If you could have your version of a perfect, functioning male body right now without any surgery or anything, would you?" I wouldn't assume those who choose not to transition are held back by fear. There's a ton of factors involved in choosing no, just as there are a ton of factors involved in choosing yes. Unfortunately we don't live in the reality of magic wands and genies who grant 3 wishes to make everything instantly perfect for us all

I think you've misunderstood the purpose and context of the question. He's not assuming that the people who don't transition are held back only by fear; he's taking most of the fear out of the equation so that people who DO identify as male (or mostly male) but who ARE impeded by fear of loss can see what is really holding them back. If the answer is yes, then there are still obstacles to overcome, and some might still be insurmountable. And if the answer is no, then the next question would be, "Okay--why not?"

I actually gave the wrong impression when I used the word "instantly," by the way--I can't remember exactly how he phrases it, but it's not actually a magical transition. He says something like "if you could transition right now" or something like that.

With that said, I don't really see that your question is all that different from my friend's. He uses his in specific situations that, to me, seem similar to Icarus'. If I were asking your question, I would add, "If not, why not?" And if the person were held back by fear of loss, he would then start talking about that. But I like my friend's question because it removes the one biggest variable that most of us face.