There's Something About Mary
In a live chat, Prudie offers advice on a woman who hasn't told her boyfriend she used to be a man.
By Emily Yoffe|Posted Monday, July 30, 2012, at 3:33 PM ET
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/07/dear_prudie_my_female_cousin_won_t_tell_her_boyfriend_she_used_to_be_a_man_.single.htmlQ. My Female Cousin Won't Tell Her Boyfriend She Used To Be Male!: My cousin is a beautiful woman, formerly a man. She has done a couple of modeling jobs as well. She has a lot of guys after her but never had a serious relationship until now. She met my co-worker "John" several months ago and things are starting to get serious. That's why I was surprised to discover that she hasn't told him about her gender reassignment. I usually think that the past is generally best left in the past, but this to me is a huge exception. By hiding her past as a man, I feel that my cousin is hiding a big and important chunk of her life. My cousin says that John does not want kids anyway so she has no reason to tell him. I now feel guilty whenever I see John. I know that only a handful of people outside the family know, but expected her to tell John when they got serious. Should I insist on her telling him, or butt out of it entirely?
A. I agree that beginning a relationship does not require presenting your new love interest a due-diligence dossier, nor a cheek swab of one's DNA. But there is some information that potential partners are entitled to pretty early on; these include one's marital status, STD test results, interactions with law enforcement, relevant medical conditions (including previous substance abuse problems), questions about sexual orientation, and gender at birth.
