My first "serious" appointment is today!

[Apples]

It's the thing I most want on my life, but when my family starts getting negative on me, I will lose all the willpower.


Thanks. Looks like I have another thing to work on. I tend to get discouraged quite easily, and try to do many things at a time, as soon as possible. Learn how to walk properly, make up, body preparation, Voice therapy... Not being able to have some "private time" for these things on several weeks is getting on my nerves.

Thankfully, I've checked and it looks like I saved more than enough money on the past years to rely on FFS if things don't look very good in the end.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Apples,

It sounds to me like getting as much separation from your family as possible; under the given circumstances, should be a priority for you.

However, having said that, there are no doubt many cultural aspects to Spanish life and family that I may not understand. For that I apologise, should my comments appear "out of order"

Yes but you are right. trying to do too much too soon can add to the aggravation and frustration of it all. With the unusually large amount of negative material bearing down on you, perhaps baby steps may work better for you now. Just take one aspect on at a time.

Keep up the good work you are doing

Huggs
Catherine

[Apples]

Not really a family difference, but...

- Not a very friendly country for trans / gay / les, etc. It's been only 40 years since we became a democratic country, and the precious dictator deemed homosexuality as a crime. There is still a lot of stigma.

- Transexuality is quite unknown compared to gay / les. Expect a lot of church (sponsored by the government) gay bashing.

- Pretty much every time the president opens his mouth we tremble in fear. Since he assumed power everything is getting worse, cutting aids and increasing taxes for practically everything, destroying jobs constantly just to keeps the banks afloat. Doing things as leaving your home and trying to live on your own can be considered as an epic oddisey. By the way, there was something called "Renta básica de Emancipación", an economic help for young people trying to rent and leave the familiar home. Try to guess what was recently removed...

- Not to mention that thanks to this government SRS won't be covered by public healthcare (that we all pay) anymore.


To put it simply, leaving is extremely hard (and being on my situation is extremely taxing for me). I check prices for renting on UK, and there is no comparison. Living here is harder every day and most young people just leave and start working on other european countries. Oddly, is the same situation that happened 60 years ago during the dictatorship.

[Apples]

Many TSs were, are probably still are, 'forced' into prostitution.

I could show you the newspaper's "contacts" section (safe name for sex ads), and you would feel really really bad. 70% of the ads are TS, and with the crisis It would be quite logical to think that more and more people are entering into prostitution. Luckily for me I live in Basque Country (north of Spain), one of those semi-autonomous territories which have different healthcare and law systems, so my situation is a bit better and it is a more open minded place, but... You don't want to go down. There is something we call "España profunda", and it's basically the equivalent of the american redneck who puts the confederate flag on his car.


Fun fact: Bibiana Andersen was the first transexual to be widely famous in Spain thanks to appearing on TV (never did any voice training) 20 years ago. Thanks to that we have one of the most offensive sexist jokes ever seen:

Who's Spain's most intelligent woman?

Bibiana Andersen

Believe me, I could tell you things you would call me liar, but the usual way of thinking here is "Born a man, always a man, even if he has no dick".

[Nicolette]

Bad and very sad indeed. Seems Bibiana Andersen still hasn't had voice training. I had a 'friend' that refused to do voice work. I don't understand that. Instant read. I refuse to return to Italy until I'm post-op. Too risky.

[Apples]

I keep trying with the genderlife tutorials, but I can't keep the breathing + adding tone. Either something is wrong with my voice, or I need to strengthen it a lot first.

[Nicolette]

Believe it or not, most of my voice training came from speaking to my friends on the phone for hours on end. I ran up huge phone bills. I had a headset that gave me feedback of my voice so I could hear how I sounded as I spoke. I also had to run a telephone support line, so it was crucial.
I prefer my phone voice.

[Apples]

I may have something really wrong with my voice, since I can't raise the pitch and it's  hurting like hell. I've been given some medication and if in 15 days I can't I will need to have it inspected.


Today the crazyness began.

- Meet with my doctor. Tell about everything and see if he can send me to the G.I.D. The service is not listed. I get a standard paper with those G.I.D. letters and I am sent to the pyschiatry service of another health center, to see if they know something

- There they fight until they discover where the GID unit is located. It's only open for a few hoyrs from 12:00 to 16:00, If I want to get an appointment.

I arrived one hour later at work, and had to lie about carrying a familiar to the hospital, and that I will need to go there at 12:00 to see how he is doing.



I hate lying...


Update: Therapist is on holidays, I'll be called when she is back to make an appointment. During the time I was at the hospital looking fro the department I just wanted to escape, thinking that all of this was completely wrong and I was faking it.

[Apples Mk.II]

I've been contacted byt the GID unit, and my first appointment will be on november.


Still, they were mentioning the RLE. I'd rather send everything to the waste basket than doing that. Can't.