Having no choice but to take a step back.

[jainie marlena]

living in a men's shelter after being in my car for a week. Atlitnator went out on the car. found myself homeless, carless, and without my kids. They are with their mom. This is hard for me. I feel depressed and not myself anymore . Had to lie to explain my breast groweth to a preacher who runs the shelter All I know is the last day I walk out of this place it will be as me  and all they are going to remember is how much I did around here for them and how if they would have know the truth they would not have let me stay.

I did not want to write this but it is a part of my life. I would like to say only good things but it is not always good. I take a bag to work and change my clothes in the women's restroom. Everyone thanks it is b**lsh*t that I am going throught this. One guy said it is as if what happened in the 50's about blacks not getting to do thing the whites were doing. He found it hard to believe that this is still going on just with a new group of people.

I do have some money coming from a freind that owes me money and paycheck will get here as well around same the time so it will work out. I am walking out of here as myself and thinking what can be done to change this.

It is funny though it is still all girl clothes just passes as boy clothes.

[Constance]

I don't know what to say, Jainie, other than I hope things turn around for you soon. I could not imagine trying to cope with what you're dealing with.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[cindianna_jones]

Well, that sucks big time. I like your spunky attitude though. It sounds as though this is a temporary problem and you'll get through it. It's good you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck.

Chin up.

Cindi

[Alainaluvsu]

Good luck sweetheart. I'm sorry things are rough for you. I hope you pull out of the bad spot soon!!!

[justmeinoz]

Hugs honey.  Your whole situation sucks.
If the priest running the show gets difficult you could bend the truth and tell him you have a hormonal condition that you are being treated for.  Not exactly a lie.

Karen.

[UCBerkeleyPostop]

I wish I had some really constructive advice but all I can say is this reminds me of my early days coming out and the blowback I received from relatives and inlaws who perceived me as a man in a dress. Looking back, I think I would have been better off staying in guy mode for a little while longer until my presentation became more congruent. On the other hand, the only thing that really made my transition possible was putting 3,000 miles of separation between myself and my transphobic in-laws. (It was my sister's husbands--one who my late mother swore was a closeted homosexual--who gave me the most grief)

Miracles do happen though. I went from being unemployed and unempoyable to being able to finance $80,000 in surgeries and finally being accepted not only as "woman" but a respected leader in my community. It can happen. Keep the faith!

[EmmaMcAllister]

I can't even imagine. *hugs* Good luck hun, I hope things get better.

[Beth Andrea]

Good luck!  You gotta do what you gotta do! I'd love to see the looks on their faces when you leave LOL!

[snowboarderchic]

 I hope things start to look up for you!

[Devlyn]

Living on the edge of making ends meet stinks. You'll be OK, just keep a positive outlook! Hugs, Devlyn

[peky]

my hart goes to you, courage!!!

[jainie marlena]

@ justmeinoz, I already had to use hormone thing. One of the men saw my sport bra under my shirt. Word spread quick and preacher wanted to talk about it. I think they feel sorry for my hormone problem now. Lol. I also got caught shaving my arms.

My car is working again. Did all the work myself.

[sonopoly]

I'm so glad you're ok now, Janie!

[justmeinoz]

A mechanic as well? You'll have the Butches knocking on your door wanting to share a 6pack and talk cars next!     Good to hear you have wheels again.

[Chrissy1]

But at least its only a temp step back. glad to hear your car is running again. Wish you were closer I would have been glad to help out.