I need courage

[Masa]

Hi there, I'm new here... I'm 20 years old and haven't come out to anyone.
I've decided after years of feeling this way, I want to try life as a boy.
But I don't know how to go about coming out about this...
I have always been a girly girl who has always had a boyfriend, so I know this would be a shock to anyone who found out.
I don't really have any close friends to tell, and the only family I have are my dad, mum and brother.
I'm pretty sure my mum wouldn't care, but I know my dad would disown me and my brother would be creeped out, they're both pretty homophobic, racist, sexist etc.
I'm just asking for advice, support and guidance... What do I do?
:<

[Annah]

My first suggestion is to seek out a therapist and talk with them.

Honestly, that's what I would do..and what I did do.

[Anima88]

I do a little visualization game when i need courage:) I quite my mind, find the energy point in my heart, and imagine there is a fire there. A great big roaring unstoppable fire.
Most of the time it works:)

[Anima88]

Unfortunately you cant really choose how people will react to it. My mother told me the other night that ill always be a SON to her. Even if i get breast and all the rest.

You can however choose how you react. Yeah it sucks, when they dont understand you or think its weird, but if its what you want to do, light that fire and do it. They may not understand it at first, but they'll come around.

[Rita]

Try a binder, and dressing as a guy when you can.  Explore without going further than your comfort level.  More and more girls have been dressing like guys, without being FtM.

Based on your family I definitely would not put any kind of reliance on them.  Prepare to be self sufficient!


Don't worry about being a girly girl, some on the mtf spectrum were true manly men on the outside.  Armed forces, muscle, hairy ect ect.  It is easier to pretend to be what your not and often overdo it to prove your not going crazy    but your not crazy.  You took a brave step coming here.

[JoanneB]

One the positive side for your brother and dad, for guys homophobia generally only applies to gay guys. So they'll figure you are a butch lez. Nothing they have to worry about "catching" or being guilty of by association. And, if you weren't a close family member, perhaps throw in a few "Women's Prison" lesbian action footage. No big deal. Guys brains are wierd 

[Rita]

One the positive side for your brother and dad, for guys homophobia generally only applies to gay guys. So they'll figure you are a butch lez. Nothing they have to worry about "catching" or being guilty of by association. And, if you weren't a close family member, perhaps throw in a few "Women's Prison" lesbian action footage. No big deal. Guys brains are wierd 

Guys brains are weird, I was always the counter thought to their weirdness.  But that is part of what made me, well me.