The Truth Session

[Jamie D]

I have put this topic in "Therapy," because it grew out of one of my therapy sessions last year.  It is an exercise that requires a little thought, introspection, and evaluation.

I was asked, "How do you think other people see you?"  and "How would you like them to see you?"  As my answers at the time rambled and took up most of the session, I have had time to distill my thoughts.

Ask yourself the same questions, and consider your physical, emotional, and intellectual attributes.

So here is my entry:

I think people see me as bossy.
I'd like them to know that I am compassionate.

How about you?

[peky]

I have put this topic in "Therapy," because it grew out of one of my therapy sessions last year.  It is an exercise that requires a little thought, introspection, and evaluation.

I was asked, "How do you think other people see you?"  and "How would you like them to see you?"  As my answers at the time rambled and took up most of the session, I have had time to distill my thoughts.

Ask yourself the same questions, and consider your physical, emotional, and intellectual attributes.

So here is my entry:


I think people see me as bossy.
I'd like them to know that I am compassionate.

How about you?

Very intersting, and helpful indeed. A common exercise in those "leadership" and "self-help" courses and books. I think it is also very  valuable to ask people you interact in daily basis to anonymously provide you with a short "how they see you" and then compare to your self perception.

What I learned from trying these approaches was that there was a common theme to how people sow me, but then again every person saw me in a unique way.

So:

I saw myself as "energetic, creative, self reliant, and demanding."

People say me as "extremely resilient, warm, intuitive, protective, entertaining, and helpful"

How I want people to see me: "honest, respectful, caring, SEXY"

[Constance]

Wow, Jamie, good questions.

Okay...

I think others see me in various ways. I don't know if I can give a simple one-line answer to that question.

I would like them to see me as a loyal, devoted, and faithful person. And, for the right person, I'd like to be seen as the ideal life-partner.

[Apples]

Wow, that's a question I simply can't give a straight answer. Basically, because I project different personalities since I don't want people to know how I really am (sad, depressed and afraid of friendship and love). Not counting the persona created for my job...


How they see me (at work): good natured awkward weirdo to the limit with an iron will, but distant.

How they see me (friends): Shy, Energetic kind weirdo with a strong will, until sometimes the costume falls at the end of the day of and they see me as  sad and depressed.


How I want them to see me: As a normal , fun person that can show his feelings to others instead of acting like an insensible jackass only interested on weird hobbies.


It's quite difficult for me since I'm being treated of several other thing (avoidant personalty disorder) and practically I'm trying to rebuild myself and have a working personality, but "look normal" is enough for me..

[Jamie D]

Very intersting, and helpful indeed. A common exercise in those "leadership" and "self-help" courses and books. I think it is also very  valuable to ask people you interact in daily basis to anonymously provide you with a short "how they see you" and then compare to your self perception.

What I learned from trying these approaches was that there was a common theme to how people sow me, but then again every person saw me in a unique way.

So:

I saw myself as "energetic, creative, self reliant, and demanding."

People say me as "extremely resilient, warm, intuitive, protective, entertaining, and helpful"

How I want people to see me: "honest, respectful, caring, SEXY"

Peky, as I recall, you are by birth a hot-blooded Latin American.

If so, you are "SEXY" by nature.

Wow, Jamie, good questions.

Okay...

I think others see me in various ways. I don't know if I can give a simple one-line answer to that question.

I would like them to see me as a loyal, devoted, and faithful person. And, for the right person, I'd like to be seen as the ideal life-partner.

The answers don't have to be simple.  It took me the better part of an hour the first time around.

[Jamie D]

Wow, that's a question I simply can't give a straight answer. Basically, because I project different personalities since I don't want people to know how I really am (sad, depressed and afraid of friendship and love). Not counting the persona created for my job...

SNIP

Many of us have personalities that morph.

I was just talking to a good friend today, and I commented that we are sometimes "chameleons."

[Constance]

The answers don't have to be simple.  It took me the better part of an hour the first time around.

I think that most people will probably see me as more open, happier, and easier to get along with now. Prior to transition, I think I was seen by some as aloof at best or unfriendly at worst.

I think that some of my coworkers will see me as clumsy, but eager. I don't think they'd see me as incompetent. I have the tendency to find solutions to problems that while are effective, they aren't elegant.

That said, there are folks in the office who were simply coworkers when I was David, and now their friends of Connie.

[AbraCadabra]

Humph, I think of others as... some love and some HATE me.

I can be quite 'direct' which EASILY can be seen or heard as being rude, inconsiderate and non-empathetic.

To put it simply... most OTHERS may just not GET me? Do -I- get me?
Being human I know, we have a VERY highly developed capacity to delude ourselves.

How do I see myself ?
It seems to depend on the 'form' of the day. VERY much so.
I'm strong, gone through a lot and came out alive on the other end. I can get pissy if taken for a ride, taken for granted, taken for a fool, expected to perform to others' "shoulds" and "oughts".
I can be emotional, maybe over-emotional at times (scream when I orgasm), scream when delighted or scream when highly displeased.
I LOVE myself, and I can be cocky, sweet, loving and a complete bitch.

It depends - but essentially I'm full of love for him/her who can respond, and yet I'm insecure.
My ascendant is Pisces (the most feminine in the Zodiac) and Gemini Sun (the most communicating, the Messenger), witty, fast, detached, intellectual, charming, cold and aloof at times.

And now I guess that will be QUITE enough, eh?

Love,
Axélle

[Jamie D]

Therapist:  Axelle, let's expand on your need for screaming.

[Sephirah]

With regard to the first part... how do I think others see me? I don't think they do. Although that's mostly my choice. I tend to be what people need me to be, to satisfy a need, or a want. A mirror for those who need one to see inside themselves. Do others see the person behind the mirror... no, not often.

I've thought about the second part of that question often, and there's really only one answer I can give that I'm happy with.

How do I want others to see me? That's difficult to answer and it depends on which 'others' we're talking about. Those I trust and care about... all I want is for them to see the real me. Everyone else... I leave that to them.

I know that's not really the answer you were looking for but... I don't generally apply traits to myself.

[Alexis]

How I want people to see me: "honest, respectful, caring, SEXY"

I don't think that any of those would be a stretch at all
Add to the list of how people see you very bright though

I'd like them to know that I am compassionate.

I can definitely say that I know that for sure is true

[Alexis]

Hmm...I've done an exercise similar to this before. I think that this is the list that I have;

Things that I hope that others see in me:
Caring. Nice.
How I think others see me (those who don't know me):
Arrogant. Snobish. Cold. Braggart. Odd. Kind. Focused. Over-confident
How I think others see me (those who do):
Warm. Humble. Generous. Driven. Focused. Confident.

[Jamie D]

With regard to the first part... how do I think others see me? I don't think they do. Although that's mostly my choice. I tend to be what people need me to be, to satisfy a need, or a want. A mirror for those who need one to see inside themselves. Do others see the person behind the mirror... no, not often.

I've thought about the second part of that question often, and there's really only one answer I can give that I'm happy with.

How do I want others to see me? That's difficult to answer and it depends on which 'others' we're talking about. Those I trust and care about... all I want is for them to see the real me. Everyone else... I leave that to them.

I know that's not really the answer you were looking for but... I don't generally apply traits to myself.

Honesty is a trait, don't you think?

[Jamie D]

Hmm...I've done an exercise similar to this before. I think that this is the list that I have;

Things that I hope that others see in me:
Caring. Nice.
How I think others see me (those who don't know me):
Arrogant. Snobish. Cold. Braggart. Odd. Kind. Focused. Over-confident
How I think others see me (those who do):
Warm. Humble. Generous. Driven. Focused. Confident.

I would never have associated those attributes with you, not even when I first knew you here.

My first impressions were "knowledgeable and professional."

[AbraCadabra]

Therapist:  Axelle, let's expand on your need for screaming.

Patient: "It feels sooo good, to let go completely - get into my 'animale' <pronouncing it Italian> such a nice difference to being nice and sweet and ... lady-like?"

Therapist: "I see, um, and what does THAT feel like?"

Patient: "Doctor see, a girl needs a break from all that at times?
And well, um, if you don't like to hear it... do you actually know the shortest and most effective prayer... no?! --- ->-bleeped-<--it!"

Patient: "See, we are getting there sweetie, know what I mean"

He-he,
Axx
PS: My shrink was one stuck-up idjit, see

[Madison Leigh]

Very intersting, and helpful indeed.

Agreed on the interesting and helpful.  Trying to keep it to just three or four,

I see myself as:  incredibly persistent, confident in my abilities, caring, shy

I think others see me as:  arrogant, introverted, hard to approach

I'd like others to see me as: confident in my abilities, honest, caring, feminine (at least eventually)

Madison

[Edge]

Interesting.
I see myself as: a scientist, a fighter, arrogant, eccentric, ambitious, nerdy, very firmly me
Others see me as: varies wildly between people
I'd like others to see me as: a scientist, a fighter, arrogant, eccentric, ambitious, very firmly me, and an interesting person to be around

[Cindy]

Interesting

I've just come across this post but I recently had the same question from my psych, and I'm totally honest with him, otherwise it s a waste of time.

I see myself as me.

I don't care how other people see me.

I have no expectations or interest in how people see or regard me.

I have no problems in operating and/or living in my life.

I have no concern about how people relate to me. They can accept me or reject me.  It is nothing to concern me.

Most people I meet I like. I don't care if the like or dislike me.

I have to say I found it a question that didn't have a hypothesis.

I will refrain from my opinion of scientific view point of such questions and research.

CJ

[Jamie D]

I wonder if these questions are in the Gender Therapists Handbook??

[Kelly J. P.]

 I don't really know how others see me. Everyone has their own lenses, and I'm sure I've been seen as an awesome, creative, loving person as well as a selfish, worthless parasite - even by the same person.

I would like to be seen as cute, fun, happy, honest, compassionate, sad, angry, and fair. If someone only saw positive traits in me, then I would be hard to identify with, and I would be less real to them... but if a person knew that I am filled with rage and sorrow, as well as compassion, honesty, happiness, and all those others, then they could perhaps be inspired, and relate to me in a positive, impactful way.

I have probably met my goal with a person or two, though I have many more to meet...