Then do that. Be as male as you want, when you want. Be as female as you want, when you want.
Passing is really for others acceptance, and if you don't pass to their expectations, then to bad. For them.
I know you would like to pass as male, just as I would as female. At this point, it ain't happening.
Doesn't mean that I don't push the boundary a little. I do it for myself.
I know if I push it to hard, I will get negative feedback that I just won't find acceptable, for now.
I don't need another assault charge, I just got through the major court appearances for the last one. From three yrs ago.
And I have changed, not as much as I'd like, but it is change and at a pace that I find acceptable for me.
This was brought up to the judge and he kindly told me I have made a wise decision, left me speechless. For a moment.
As much as I would like to, I am never going to pass like most people would want me to.
But I really don't want to for anyone but me. So it's going to take time, my time, the way I want it to.
I am me, I don't want to be anyone else. So when the desire to be more female is there, I do it for me.
Your bigender, as far as I can tell. You're always going to go from one end to the other, whatever those ends are for you.
But that is the thing,...they are your ends, not someone else's or societies. They're you.
Work on being you, it takes time, it takes practice undoing what isn't right, what hasn't been right.
'Looking completely male' isn't so much as how you look as it is attitude. Which you have plenty of.
Don't be afraid to use that, just because you think someone might not accept the 'look' you are going for.
My advice, for what it is worth, is go for the attitude. The rest will follow.
There are very few who really even get close to what they want to look like, and if you ask, attitude is a main ingredient.
So is acceptance of yourself and the limitations you will have to work around.
It's like learning something in a class. You get straight A's. Doesn't mean you're an expert, just means you got staight A's.
You passed the written test.
Attitude is what will make you that expert.
You learn, you apply what you learn, and you gain the confidence to use attitude to get you where you want to be.
Bottom line? Just do it, do it better than you think you can. Push yourself outside of the box.
Find it in yourself, because it's there.
Just asking the question is the qualifier that you are looking for.
You ask a question that answers itself.
Look for it, it's your answer to your question.
Ativan
