Dysphoria caused by 'The Curse'

[Kristopher]

I don't know about you guys but when that certain week comes every month (I've dubbed it 'The Curse') my self confidence goes from whatever it was at to straight out the window. I don't want to go anywhere and I feel like although nobody on the outside and in everyday life would know this is going on with me it will give off some sort of female vibe therefore making it impossible for me to pass, especially since it's absolutely impossible to pack during this time and I always feel more confidence in myself when I do pack (especially in public). So..basically I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips on dealing with the enormous amounts of dysphoria that comes along with this evil thing.

[Jayr]

I don't know what you use for that time of the month but..

Maybe wear a tampon so you can still pack?
I don't see why you couldn't wear your packer if you're using that.

Personally I feel a million times better using tampons than pads.

Tampons you forget about them,
Pads on the other end you're reminded of every second.

Not sure if that even helps in anyway but I tried.

[mm]

The 1-2 days before I start my monthly and the first 1-2 of it are the worst for me.  I get cramps that constantly remind me that I have those and blood will flow out if I let it.  I also feel down overall not wanting to do much of anything, but I make myself get out and do things.  I am with Jayr on tampons,  they are the best way to go, put one in and forget you have it.  After the first day or so I can get by with changing before going to classes and then after I get back to my apartment.  I will say that it was a little trying for me to try them the first time, had to find the hole and learn the angle and how far to push them in.  I had never pay much attention to where the opening were in my bottom, now I can unwraps one and stick it in no time flat.  Tampons are so much better than pads where you feel them all the time, anyone would have dysphoria using them.

[Kreuzfidel]

I second Jayr - using tampons was my only consolation because I didn't have to see or feel a damn pad.

[Kristopher]

See for me using tampons would be worse....having never used them before I feel like having to fiddle with my anatomy to sort of "figure them out" would just be the worst thing. 

[Jeatyn]

I resisted tampons for the longest time because I didn't like the idea of fiddling around and shoving something up there. Once you get the hang of it though it is SO much better and worth the initial trouble. Just give them a try, you may be pleasantly surprised...for me it certainly beat having what is essentially a nappy sitting in my pants. If you use the applicator type it's easy to do and you don't even have to touch anything. Tampax pearl are particularly good.

There are things you can do to stop them, but most of them involve taking female hormones which is obviously not desirable. You have to decide for yourself if the side effects of birth control are worth stopping the curse, I was on depo-provera for many many years but had to come off because of bone density issues and out of control weight gain.

I'm currently on Danazol - an e-blocker, which has stopped them completely. (temporary solution only, they are hard on the liver long term)

There is also ablation, where they burn off the lining and in about half of patients it stops them completely, for others it significantly reduces the amount of bleeding.

[mm]

Kristopher, yes you do have to put aside your dysphoria for a time to learn how to use tampons, but the advanceages were well worth it for me.  Definitely use the plastic applicator type in a slim or regular size to start. Do read the instructions in the box and follow them.  The first couple may seem difficult to get in but when you have one in correctly you willn't even know it is in there.  Just don't ever leave one in over 10-12 hrs and don't forget the last one each month.  I would never use a pad again. good luck to you.

[socrates101]

I totally understand how frustrating and depressing the 'curse' can be. I assume that you (the OP) and a few others that have posted have not begun hormone therapy, seeing as that stops monthly cycles after a while as your body becomes predominantly testosterone-driven. Mine stopped once i began, and it definitely was extremely depressing before then, made me feel disgusted, angry, sick and down, but the hormone treatment pretty much put me through my 'late male puberty' and stopped my body from producing any more female misfortunes. Dysphoria was extremely bad before then and now i'm very fortunate to only have to be put down by my chest, since i haven't had top surgery.
Just hang in there mate, things will get better soon. Do you think you can get started on T anytime soon? Also(you may not like the sound of this but i just have to suggest) you could try birth control pills, those you can get pretty easy with no fuss and they should work pretty well with stopping periods from occuring. I never used this method myself, but i'v read that this is what it does.
All best, cheers.

[Kristopher]

Ughh....although the sheer idea of using something so completely feminine as a tampon makes my head spin maybe I will give it a try since that's basically the main suggestion. Birth control is out of the question for me because I don't have the extra money to be spending on it, especially since I am in the process of therapy and (hopefully!) T soon which is not the cheapest thing I know and I definitely don't like the idea of having to go to a Gyno and having any sort of exam where I would constantly be reminded of all the female things about me. If only I could get past that I think it would be a great temporary solution until I was on T and the effects of that stopped the monthly curse.

[Jeatyn]

I'm not 100% sure this is what you meant but you don't need to get an exam to get birth control, you basically ask for it and they hand it over no questions asked

[Natkat]

I dont have any suggestions but I know the felling
remember during that time I always felt totally nervous and unconfortable all the time.

[Kristopher]

I'm not 100% sure this is what you meant but you don't need to get an exam to get birth control, you basically ask for it and they hand it over no questions asked

I was always under the understanding that you had to get some kind of pre-exam before they gave you birth control. 

[Ayden]

It depends on where you are. If you are in the states, just go to a planned parenthood or your local clinic and if you are not sexually active/under a certain age they won't require it. I didn't have to have an exam until I was 18 but I got the pill when I was 15.

[aleon515]

In my ftm group, they brought up this IUD called Minera. It has a low dose of a hormone but not to the extent that taking the pill would be. Some people stop having periods. This is something to talk to with a doctor and I couldn't help there, besides this could be an option.

I think that the use of pills would have be something called menstrual suppression. Basically you never take the dummy pills. I am not sure that someone who is ftm would want these sorts fo hormones in their system.

Menstrual ablation is another thign. It is surgical. But not like heavy duty surgery where they scrape the lining of the uterus. There are possible effects.

Another thing for pain, some people get on a schedule of ibuprofen. Ibuprofen is particularly good as I think it was developed for this kind of pain. Also drinking tea could be good as it will pull water out of your system if you tend to retain.

That's $20 (or however much this consultation is worth).

--Jay Jay

[Mosaic dude]

I feel your pain, Kristopher.  I hate the curse (I call it that too).  I feel filthy, and then I feel like a misogynist for thinking female bodily functions are filthy, and I get really paranoid that people around me will smell the stench of decay, and all that really amps up the dysphoria.

I'd say give tampons a try.  Personally I just can't deal with pads and I find tampons are much better.  I make sure to get the ones with applicators because sticking my fingers up there squicks me out, and if you get applicator ones you'll probably find the unpleasantness of fiddling with your anatomy is considerably reduced.  Also, while it's not fun the first time the benefits are totally worth it IMO.

I've never heard of anyone having to get an exam to get birth control, but if you can handle it consider getting the Mirena IUD.  It often stops menstruation.