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Full Time Blues

Started by japple, December 07, 2012, 10:51:49 AM

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japple

I went full time a week ago and while people know I'm trans I get only ma'ams and shes. I live in LA so people are cool, they don't even blink when I show them my male ID.

My voice is still masculine and I have a feeling of shame. I've wanted this forever but feel like I'm wearing a Halloween costume. Not that I was ever comfortable as a man, but I continue to feel uncomfortable. I've been pretty much wearing a hoodie all week as am afraid to show my body. Is this normal right when you go full time?! I never really cross dressed before transition and it just feels weird, I know I am trans and want to be she'd and her'd but the clothing feels weird.
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Brooke777

Just because you are a woman, does not mean you need to dress ultra femme. You could still be a woman that prefers to wear typically male clothes. There is nothing wrong with it. You need to feel comfortable in what you wear. Do you feel comfortable when not at work? If not, have you tried a different style of clothes?
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Stephe

Quote from: japple on December 07, 2012, 10:51:49 AM
My voice is still masculine and I have a feeling of shame.


I know I harp on this a lot but IMHO voice is so much more important than even HRT if you plan to live full time and be seen as a woman.

But yes at first being in public as the opposite gender does feel strange. It just takes a while to adjust. I am someone who's style is to dress pretty fem, I'm almost always in a skirt and a cute top,  but wear what you want.

I'm not sure where this feeling of shame comes from, maybe that isn't exactly the right word? Being anxious is very normal. I'm lucky that I am a super extrovert.
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Alainaluvsu

Eventually you'll slip past the stage where it feels like you're in a costume. You'll just realize you're wearing what you want to wear because it's your style and not because it's some sort of gender norm.

Quote from: Stephe on December 07, 2012, 11:33:01 AM

I know I harp on this a lot but IMHO voice is so much more important than even HRT if you plan to live full time and be seen as a woman.

Yeah... if I used my old male voice, even people here would be taken back by it. Voice is a deal maker / breaker, even if you don't totally pass visually.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Misato

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 07, 2012, 11:35:28 AM
Eventually you'll slip past the stage where it feels like you're in a costume. You'll just realize you're wearing what you want to wear because it's your style and not because it's some sort of gender norm.

I could have spent hours thinking and I couldn't have put it that well!
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Meshi

Yes, It will feel weird for awhile, but it will be second nature in a few months.  As far as your look and voice.  Imo, you really need to work on that, especially the voice and there are ways of practicing and getting it down pretty good without going to a voice pathologist.  I have used a digital recorder for years.  It is very easy, just practice until you reach a comfortable range.  I can show you what I did..It is difficult to explain in text, but the pocket digital recorder is vary good to use and you can do it anywhere when you have time or in the privacy of your home.  I used to be a bodybuilder and I also have a technique for getting that "female" body.  It targets key areas of the body and will maximize results with minimal effort.  Yes, it does take hard work and dedication, but it is worth it in the end. I know all this sounds vain, but we go through alot transitioning, so why not put effort into what is critical to really pass.
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