A family thing...any ideas

[Kristyn74]

I tend to ramble on too much at times so ill try and keep it to the point...

I've been living in the same city as my family,but haven't been in contact with them for fourteen years.I was placed on the outer for things my father had said and done.
Now within the last 10 months I've been in contact with my mother and brother.mum finally left him and filed for divorce.My father had been 'exposed for who he really was and everything had come out, he'd been sleeping with women behind mums back for over 20 years...and other things.
For the trauma my father had put her through for the last four years she has been medicated by psych on stillnox and other drugs,drinking two glasses of wine and quite often a few beers often follwing every night  ,I'm not being critical, but the odds aren't for her if she continues this path.( Tracys a psych nurse)
I was sitting down with my partner (Tracy) with my mum when she spoke of a few things that had happened in the past to her. I had explained that there were things that she hadn't know that had happened to myself and my brother when we were younger.
Among the talk we reminisced the old times and people who took her side and people/friends that took my fathers side after the 'mess'.

She mentioned of my friends father how she thought it was OFF that he walked round the house wearing women s dresses.,,,


Well... Tracy actually come out with me to purchase clothes that i like even online from VS and Supre and is very supportive of my attire and who i am. I wear these clothes round the house and often under other clothes ie bras and camis and have gone on a trip to NZ wearing them.I'll wear racerbacks tankskirts and androgynous out.

The position I hold in the family now...mum 65...Im not sure it's going to fit..since weve been on the scene weve managed to secure two more houses to our names but with her help financially.ATM i feel that im in the relationship for business like situation only..until it no longer works...Tracy is very supportive whereever i want to be i suggested like any business keep in there til you no longer benefit.Not sounding rude but with the things shes punping through her body shes got less than ten years and Im back in financially as well as her will...theres financial security as they had heaps of property.

I want to be myself but risk forgoeing other things if she finds out Im a CD...and looking into other future changes.

What would you do?

Kristyn

[suzifrommd]

Hard to say what's right for you Kristyn, since I don't know you, but you asked what I'd do, and that I can say.

Living a lie is painful, invalidating and anxiety producing. No amount of money is worth it. I would let people who are close to me know who I am and let them choose whether or not to accept me. If they are uncertain, I would do my best to educate them about what Transgender means, since most people know next to nothing about it and what they do know, a lot of it is wrong.

I actually think it's an act of respect and a compliment to someone to tell them who you are. You're telling them you trust them to handle the truth. If it turns out she can't, and doesn't work at it until she finds a way past it, then that's her choice.

Good luck, Kristyn.