Baby Blues

[Father Way]

Me, too, but I'm pretty sure it's from my gender issues. I just can't imagine having that...parasite...living inside my body and sucking the life out of me. I don't see how anyone does it. And yet they do.

And then, of course, you have to deal with the aftermath for years and years.

I do wish they could turn my o's into testicles, but I would never use the "proceeds" to make babies.

parasite LOL Never thought using the term on human babies LOL Even hearing a baby laugh makes me nauseous. I don't want to pass my genes and my cats are good enough.

[mikaellucien]

When my husband & I got married we discussed children.  Personally, I have/had no desire to be pregnant.  After a several year debate, I decided that I would rather rent my body to my children for 9 months prior to transition than have to spend their entire college fund on surrogates, etc or adoption down the road. 

We have 2 daughters, 1 year & 1 week apart.  That was the most miserable 2 years of my life.  I felt like hell.  Felt like I was trapped in someone else's body more so than ever before.  There were many days near the end of each pregnancy where I'd wake up each morning wishing to either *pop* or die.  Would I have made it through that time without my spouse's support?  Highly unlikely.  Truth be told, if I had done it alone I likely would have suicide(d) out.  I don't regret having created my girls, though. 

Do I wish I could have created them using my own sperm & let someone else lug them around during gestation?  You betcha!  Am I dreading explaining to them later in life that while Daddy & Daddy are gay, one of their Daddies used to be *Mommy*?  You betcha!

I guess my point is, no matter which path you choose there is always something to be unhappy about.  Just like there is always something to be greatful for. 

[Felix]

You aren't alone. I think a lot of us suffer over breeding issues. I actually have a kid, and she loves me to death, and nobody ever asks whether I conceived her with sperm or not, but well. I frequently struggle with the fact that I'll never have a "normal" family. I didn't have one growing up and I'm not even adequate enough to sire my own children properly.

Also I didn't really have her on purpose, and I feel like all the struggle and poverty and crises kept me from fully enjoying her babyhood. Like I went through all that work and I was still just a "dumb b****" and a slut and a freeloader and every other epithet people casually throw onto young female breeders, and I was always working so hard to get by that I wasted my youth.

Sorry that got miserable quick. But you aren't at all alone in feeling left out or ripped off or regretful or whatever. It can feel like something is missing.