Yes. Orgasms, but ones that have nothing to do with sex whatsoever.
So, uhm, let me explain. My girlfriend, who's actually a member from here, lives far away from me. We plan on joining up next year for a few months and then we would move in together permanently the next year. It might sound arrogant to say that, but we're soul mates, literally. At the very least, we're both convinced that we are.
So you can imagine the distance causes a lot of longing. I don't know how much of a role HRT plays in this, but ever since we became a couple (actually, ever since our friendship gradually started to evolve), I've been gradually growing more emotionally sensitive when it comes to her.
Last week, after not having talked to her for a whole day, I was missing her a lot, and she told me she had missed me too, that she loved me and described me a cute little hug she would like to do to me. Imagining that felt so intensely good that I moaned, then started to pant heavily for several minutes, almost hyperventilating.
Then yesterday, after having felt tired and a little weird (complicated to explain) for a while, also feeling very happy for her and in love with her, since it was her first evening after getting a haircut, makeover and eyebrow epilation, her first evening of truly looking girly...
Well, after all that, as I still felt a little weird/sensitive from that complicated-to-explain thing, and also from watching the now-even-more-wonderful her on webcam, we thought I should get some rest, and her too, since it was even later for her. I told her good night with the usual (but oh so honest) love words, and she replied "Good night, love of my life <3".
And then lightning struck me. I already knew that in the bottom of my heart and it was far from the first time I'd heard it, but it was like I had just learned it, just realised it. I was the love of her life. I put my hands on my heart as I repeatedly panted/moaned/sighed, and it grew more and more intense. I felt so incredibly good, yet almost completely paralysed, with that strong feeling of pinching heart in my chest, and that hundred-fold amplified "love butterflies in the belly" feeling, growing, and coming by waves. My mind was completely blank except for her. That was such an intense, overly pleasing, yet such a pure feeling.
I am serious when I say those were by far the most intense fifteen minutes of my life. And afterwards, it was over half an hour until I could muster the strength to get up from my computer chair.
And over the rest of the evening, over the next hour, whenever I thought of her (which was tens of times), I got a "reminder" of it, a bit like subsequent tremors after an earthquake. Less intense, but each time I was once again stunned as though struck by lightning, moaning and my mind emptied of anything but her.
I've never felt a true orgasm - my dysphoria with my parts is way too strong to allow me that - but how that felt... It felt pretty close to what I imagine a true, intense orgasm to be. Except there was little to no feeling around the crotch whatsoever.
But it appears my body did react to this as to an orgasm, a little. Since starting HRT, I always have a tiny bit of slightly smelly leaks down there (no worries about that, I actually asked the endo and it's no worry at all), more so if I feel arousal, and when I went to the toilet that night, it was a little wet as though I'd been aroused. But I had not been aroused. My love for her is not sexual, and even though I do sometimes feel some (theoretical, because of dysphoria) such physical attraction towards her, those thoughts did not even cross my mind at that moment.
This morning, and this evening, as well, I had two more such experiences, albeit much less intense and much shorter.
Today, we both searched the phenomenon out of curiosity (because that's not just peculiar, it's pretty unreal), and the only thing we found was this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Emotional%20orgasmSo I wanted to ask... Have you ever heard of something like this? Have you felt it? Do you have a read I could use to understand this better? Because I really want to learn more about that undescribingly wonderful experience.
