Big Step! First therapy session soon!

[Barbara Ann]

Hi Girls,
Be happy with me! I got up the nerve to call psychologists in my area to find one who treats gender dysphoria in their practice. While I couldn't find one that had experience with transgender clients, I did find a counsellor who is open and willing to see me. She admitted that she hasn't treated TG clients, but it was because none had approached her. We agreed to get together for a first session. This is a milestone for me, because it will be the first time I will talk to another person face-to-face about my gender.
Thoughts? Suggestions? I welcome your wisdom on this.
Elated-
-Barbara Ann

[Jillieann Rose]

That is great new Barbara Ann. To be able to openly discuss your gender situation.  Some flesh and blood person that you can talk to that won't get all upset because they don't like what you are thinking or doing. For me that was the most important part of therapy.
My suggestion is to be open an honest with her in how yopu act and what you say. Be real and she will be able to help you.
Why to go girl.
Can't wait to hear about the session.

Jillieann

[seldom]

I seriously suggest trying to find one that does have experience in gender identity issues.  Trust me things will go much better if they do, especially when it comes time for HRT.   Also make sure they are familiar with the Standards of Care.

Sometimes the therapist who have this experience and specialize in it are not psychologist, but Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW, or something like that, its state to state).  Looking for a psychologist, will not always get you to a specialist.  For example, most of the people who deal with gender identity issues in DC are LCSW. 

Hopefully that helps. 

[tinkerbell]

First of all, congrats Barbara Ann, and yes, I will echo Amy's advice, try to find a therapist who has a thorough background in gender issues, and once you have selected him/her, the best suggestion anyone can give you is to be completely honest when discussing your feelings.  Good luck! 

tink

[Lucy]

Barbara Ann congratulations this is a very big step forwards and I hope that you find it usefull.

Take care and well done.
LUCY

[Barbara Ann]

Thanks for all the great advice. She may not be a GID specialist, but at least I'm talking to someone about this! If we're not a good fit, she may be able to refer me to a GID counsellor.
Thanks for the good wishes! They mean alot!
-Barb

[Jillieann Rose]

When is your first session Barb?
I was really nervous with my first one, but it turn out great.

Jillieann

[Barbara Ann]

Thanks for the advice. My appointment is for Friday, the 20th. Making that appointment has opened the floodgate. I also made appointments with two electrolysists for a consultation! Yay!
-Barb

[Hazumu]

Way 'ta go, Barbara! 

I second (third? fourth?) what others said about finding a gender specialist, though.  I prefer being old hat to my counselor, so we're not constantly taking time=money figuring stuff out.

I also made appointments with two electrolysists for a consultation! Yay!
-Barb

Have you considered doing a series of trial sessions with as many electros as you can find?  Do you know what to look for when being treated? (Most of the treated hairs come out with an intact root bulb and the gelatinous root sheath.)  Do the prospective electros have experience with trans-girls? (a beard is one of the toughest things to exterminate...)  Try as many as you can first, then pick the one with the best technique.  Your face will be glad you did. 

Karen

[Annie]

HI Barbara!  Like you, I couldn't find a therapist in my area who specializes in gender identity, and driving 3 to 4 hours for therapy is not an option..so I took what I could get, just someone...anyone....to talk to about who I really am, how I feel, what my hopes and dreams of the future are.  I've been seeing my therapist for about 2 months now, and it truelly does help to get it all out.  Finding a specialist would be ideal, but if you can find someone who is compassionate, and open minded and willing to listen as well as LEARN..then in my opinion...it's not a waste of time.

[Barbara Ann]

I hope this therapist is motivated to learn something about GID. I guess I'll find that out on Friday. As I said, I desperately need someone to talk to about this.
As far as electro, I went to one consult. She uses laser primarily. I need to schedule an appointment with their doctor so he can analyze my skin type and prescribe the calibration for the laser. This clinic wanted $1950.00 over six weeks for laser. That's for three sessions and three clean-up sessions. Is that about par for laser? I don't know.
Hugs and thanks to everyone-
-Barb

[SusanK]

Hi Girls,
Be happy with me! I got up the nerve to call psychologists in my area to find one who treats gender dysphoria in their practice...
Thoughts? Suggestions? I welcome your wisdom on this.
-Barbara Ann

Some suggestions. First, second the first session as a general discussion about therapy. Let them explain their methods, techniques, insurance, etc. You have to be comfortable with their style and methods. If that's ok, then before the following session to really start, write up a ~2 page story of your life and feelings and a little about your background, and send it to the therapist ahead of time if you're sure they will be your therapist.

This sometimes helps them with the initial questions and saves a few sessions going over the same stuff. This may take a few times to write and edit, but you can just imagine you're in the office being asked question about your history, and just write. If you don't have someone to trust helping, quietly read it aloud to see if it sounds right.

You might also ask if they doesn't have the experience with transpeople if there are any resources, such as the HBIGDA Website and/or books(?), you can provide to help. They should do their own research, but they might decide to start fresh and work with you to understand you and the situation.

And lastly, check with your health insurer for coverage. Most don't cover therapy for ->-bleeped-<-, and many therapist aren't in some insurers approved provider lists. If they are in the list, the therapist can write it differently so it qualifies for coverage, but most plans  either require the submission of a plan with treatments or have open ended treatment without a plan at a reduced rate.

Good luck.

--Susan--

[Barbara Ann]

Well, I'm back from my first session. Whew! This was the first time in my life that I opened up about my real gender to a person live and in color. I have all of you in this forum to thank for helping me open up and express myself and then get up and do something about it! You are all so brave! I will always remember what you have done for me.

Our session was filled with me relating my general history, relationships, etc. It seems that we talked very little about gender. I feel comfortable with her; but I will continue to look for a gender specialist in my area.

Love-
-Barb

[Rachel]

First of all, congrats, its a wonderful feeling, i know.

My therapist is the same way, I am her first TS client, and so it is a learning experience for both of us.  Even if she isn't a specialist, she has handled it very well, and I like her a lot.  I feel open with my therapist and can talk to her about anything, and she has been truthful, but still kind with me.  So far I have enjoyed my therapy experience.

[Lucy]

You need to go back and keep talking, Im onto my 3rd session and really dont knoe what to talk about. My couseller has no TG experience but still she tries.

I wish you good tidings and hope that you find what you need.

Luv Lucy

[LostInTime]

Sometimes working someone new will help so many others down the line. My last therapist I saw started out that way, a T gal showed up and now she even attends the big conferences when she can.   

Congrats on going, please keep us posted how it goes.

[Rachel]

experience is the only way to learn

[Jillieann Rose]

Way to go Barb,
I knew it would be a good experience for you.
It good to be able to share your feelings with someone who won't take offense.

Jillieann

[MeghanAndrews]

I had my first appt yesterday with someone experienced in gender therapy, that really helps I think. They have talked to so many people in our shoes that I think it really helps them not get confused about what might be underlying issues. I can't imagine going to a regular therapist who might not be able to relate through experience with others what I'm going through. I do understand though that some people might have problems due to location in finding a gender therapist. Good luck, you seem like you are on the right path Meghan