Male upbringing

[highlight]

For some odd reason I would like to share my experiences with being brought up male.

Firstly I was made aware very quickly that I was a "boy" and that boys had short hair and wore trousers(pants). I was also taught that it was wrong of me to wear girls clothes and this really hurt.

I remember that physical strength mattered. When I was young I was also the smallest in my class and the weakest.I would be left out from parties and developed something of an inferiority complex. I also remember that when I was violent I was often praised. Things like "brave" or hard working".

I was never really punished for attacking boys around me. In time I learned what was expected of me and became a bit of a bully. Although in retrospect my anger seams to be genetic rather than male, I actually get it from my mum (mom), she has a very short fuse much to my plight.

What about you?

[Deborah]

Up until 8th grade I was shy, small, and weak and did get picked on at school.  In 9th grade I got sick of all that and reinvented myself.  I beat the first bully that picked on me and then became an all around jock with a high grade point average.  So high school wasn't really bad at all.  None of that cured the trans though.

When my daughter went through high school I had her follow much the same pattern as I did so I don't think it is really a solely male thing.  It is more a growing up and getting mentally and physically tough thing for both boys and girls.


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[abd789]

How about locker rooms? 

[Deborah]

In my family nakedness was not a shameful thing.  My whole family went to a nude beach a couple of times when I was maybe around 14.  Also, I never hated my body or was ashamed of it in any way.  I just strongly felt that it was wrong.  So, the locker room was never really any concern to me.

Once in college, due to a prank, I had to streak, stark naked, in front of about 1000 screaming people.  That was really funny, like being in a Roman arena.


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[abd789]

In my family nakedness was not a shameful thing.  My whole family went to a nude beach a couple of times when I was maybe around 14.  Also, I never hated my body or was ashamed of it in any way.  I just strongly felt that it was wrong.  So, the locker room was never really any concern to me.

Once in college, due to a prank, I had to streak, stark naked, in front of about 1000 screaming people.  That was really funny, like being in a Roman arena.


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lol

I dont think I was taught to be ashamed but I was so different down there that it made me very uncomfortable and was picked on some for it

[KathyLauren]

As a young kid, I never understood the differences between girls and boys.  We had co-ed classes, but girls and boys had separate playgrounds at recess time.  We were thoroughly brainwashed trained that the sexes were not to associate with one another.  I was quite mystified by it all.

I was the kid that the others picked on.  My parents taught me not to fight back, so I didn't.  In high school, I was sexually assaulted by a boy who thought I was gay.  He was, but I wasn't.

I had to teach myself about the birds and bees, because my parents wouldn't sign the permission slip for the sex ed class.  Thank heavens for encyclopedias!  I got up the nerve to ask a girl to the graduation dance, but I can't say that I really dated as such.

As you might guess, I internalize a lot emotionally.  I have a hard time differentiating between what is the authentic me and what is just a result of a screwed up upbringing.

[cheryl reeves]

My dad made me a boy when I was 3,by the time I was 5 I realized I was different, and my dad realized I was different, I was always looked at as a freak, I had a few friends, bullies were drawn too me like a magnate, and they found I was stronger and meaner then they were, but the kept coming back for more pain, or sent new bullies my way so they could laugh at them getting their ass beat for being stupid. I was never sexually assaulted no one was that stupid to try that,I quit going shirtless when my breasts grew in, and never changed in front of any boy in the locker room, did it once and got expelled for fighting. After the age of 17 I was pretty much a loner for guys did not want too be seen with me out of fear of looking gay, so I grew facial hair which I now regret for I look like the mustache lady.. But like I always say life is for living not dying, I just made the best out of a bad hand, and been crossdressing for 33 yrs. and don't regret nothing for I can be both male or female at whim.

[highlight]

Cheryl it says you are intersex; do you mind me asking which condition you have? unless of course you consider transsexualism to be an intersex condition. (I'd have the greatest sympathy if you do.)

As you might guess, I internalize a lot emotionally.  I have a hard time differentiating between what is the authentic me and what is just a result of a screwed up upbringing.

I think this is my problem too, I struggle to find out what is upbringing and what is biological.

Our situation reminds me of the first ToyStory film, were Buzz lightyear believes he is a real space ranger and then latter on learns he's a toy.

Perhaps for me at least "girl" was the factory setting.

[cheryl reeves]

I developed breasts when I was 13,and never hit puberty like the guys did, I matured like a female, voice never cracked, I never had facial hair til I shaved. Without facial hair I look like a woman of 35 which isn't so bad since I'm 50. I never really looked into intersex that much for I accepted the fact I'm me and I try to be the best me I can be.

[Debra]

Funny what you said about being weak. I had similar stuff.

I was always made fun of in high school gym class because my bench press MAX was the girl's record at the school. Ironic now.