Quote from: UCBerkeleyPostop on August 24, 2012, 06:10:46 PM
My gut feeling is that the adults in the family should be aware your situation. If you were long time post-op, a stealth relationship might be feasible but I don't see it at this point
I would ask, "What is the worst that can happen?" (Referring to the concerns regarding long time post-op and stealth.)
Don't shoot yourself in the foot.
Just because you don't already have seven gold medals doesn't mean you can't have at least one. Don't give up before you try. The whole stealth thing depends mostly upon what people perceive you as. I have been in situations where people heard I was trans but because I never admitted to anything except being female, because I was confident and asserted myself (my female self) some people continued to accept me as a woman and I don't mean on a casual level, I mean on a sexual level.
Some people like to say, "This is the information age, Stealth is impossible."
A. Stealth is an intermediate phase between passing and assimilation.
B. You will be construed as what you are. What you are includes what comes out of your mouth.
If you confess to being trans you will be accepted as trans. If the words that come out of your mouth are the same words that would come out of any Cis woman's mouth then chances are likely you will be accepted as a Cis woman. Lying is not necessary. You can always say things like, "That's a bit personal isn't it?" "Are you insulting me?" "Are you trans?" "Is that your thing, trans women?"
If my life depended upon Stealth I wouldn't have a life. Do I admit to being trans? In a word, "No." No I don't and I probably never will. Other than when I am on this forum and when I allow myself to enter into trans head space I am beyond my transition and I demand that everyone else who is a part of my life is also. Except my parents.
You can be whatever you want as long as you have it inside of you and as long as you are willing to work and sacrifice to make it happen. "Stealth" begins whenever you want, it will either work or become a learning experience. Never apologize for who you are. If you are a woman then you are a woman, plain and simple. Seeking approval from others will cause them to accept you but never as your true sex. It is not inside other people to even be capable of accepting you as a woman, that has to happen in Cis-reality. Explaining how you became a woman will only create trans-acceptance. If you are content being accepted as trans in Cis-reality then go for that. I don't recommend it unless it is necessary.
Every person you are out to is a new person who can identify you as trans to other people. Family photos and pictures become show and tell. When people find out I transitioned in the work place I find new work. One person points me out as trans to a couple of people who point me out to a couple of people who point me out to a couple of people. Pretty soon hundreds of people know about me and are pointing me out to even more people. And I am usually completely unaware that it is happening.
/end rant
