Childhood things making sense

[AdamMLP]

Do any of you have memories of when you were a kid that seemed weird but then suddenly made sense when you realised you were trans?

One of the strongest of mine was being in the bathroom and every week checking that I wasn't growing breasts and then stretching my arms out so it looked like I still hadn't got them, because in my head I thought that if they disappeared when I did that they couldn't be real.  Then when that didn't work anymore I became certain that I had breast cancer, (literally crying about it and deciding that I'd not tell anyone but write letter to people explain that I didn't want people to worry and would want to be remembered as normal instead of the kid with cancer) because that made sense to me more than getting breasts.

And then choosing not to wear swimming costumes until my nipples were raw, bleeding and pussy when I was on holiday from scraping them on the edge of the pool when I kept getting out.  My cis-male friend didn't wear anything on his top half so why should I?

Then there was a stupid one where I attacked someone because they kept trying to get this pink jumper back for me when I kept trying to throw it away because pink is a "girl's colour".  We laugh about it now but I really ended up hurting him at the time, and I didn't know him at all and don't ever normally even talk to people unless I know them and are confident around them!

There's no real reason behind this, but just thought it might be interesting, I dunno.

[Beth Andrea]

I never liked standing to pee. Using the stall in public might be explained by shyness (of which I had *plenty*), but at home, too?  I finally "outgrew" it in my late teens, but only because I knew I'd be going in the .mil, and always using the stall wasn't really an option.

[limepepsi]

When I was a teenager, late and early years, I thought to myself a couple of times: "I wonder if I was born a boy, but then my parents had the doctor change me to a girl". I've been obsessed with gay male couples my whole life, would lie awake in bed and cuddle with my pillow pretending that it was me as a guy with another guy. Whenever I would daydream about the future, I would always see myself as a man. I never had an aversion to wearing female clothing, per se, but I didn't get into fashion. Make-up was fun. I knew that I never wanted to be a wife and mother, or even a girlfriend. All I wanted was to be a gay male. And now I'm on my way there

[aleon515]

*Very* many things: Never drew myself as looking female; *was* interested in standing to pee; melt down going and getting a bra; extreme modesty about being seen naked by sister and mom; was discomforted by my breasts, shape, etc; wearing very loose baggy clothes; all sorts of things.

--Jay J

[tvc15]

When I graduated elementary school I had no idea what I should wear to the event, I didn't want to put on a dress or skirt. My mom dug around in her closet and found this lady's suit that fit me. It was pink... I asked if she had it in any different colors and she said "I'm not a store" :p I loved it though, I wore it proudly and pretended I was a pimp.

[harlee]

I have a lot of memories that make sense now

When I was in kindergarten we would have nap time, and I remember I would sleep on my arm and stick out my pinkie to pretend I had a penis. I thought I was tricking the teachers

I was 5 when my mum was pregnant and I wanted the baby to be a boy so badly (I only had sisters), so that he would teach me how to do boy things. I didnt realise at the time that we wouldnt be the same age, and that he would be much younger. Anyway, I did end up getting a brother and I used to tell him that some girls had a penis haha.

In primary school, I really wanted to wear the boys uniform. The boys even had different hats! One day I found one and wore it and I felt so good. I used to actually have dreams about wearing the uniform.. weird.

I used to always think about why God didnt let us choose whether we wanted to be male or female. When I found out about transsexuals, I always wanted to meet one and ask if they liked being a girl or a boy better (what a stupid question! haha).

And this is a bit embarrassing but I was super obsessed with being able to pee standing up

[AdamMLP]

I used to always think about why God didnt let us choose whether we wanted to be male or female. When I found out about transsexuals, I always wanted to meet one and ask if they liked being a girl or a boy better (what a stupid question! haha).

This has just reminded me of a seriously weird thing that I used to keep thinking about as a kid... I'd completely forgotten about this.  I thought that it would be great if when you were in the womb you got asked whether you wanted to be a boy or a girl and you got to decide by pulling one of two levers made out of broccoli.  I can't believe I forgot that, that's just bizarre!  (But would of been epic xD )

[Cindy]

Nice thread Alex,

Very common feeling BTW.

I'm a little older and when I came out to my parents I had no idea what I was and they had no idea either. I was about 13 and told my Mum that I must be ill as my sister was growing breasts and starting periods and I wasn't. What was wrong?

An Irish catholic family in Liverpool UK didn't have 'male' children like that 40 years ago.

I suppose in a way I can validate TG as I had no idea what it was. I just knew I was female and why was I in this body that didn't fit? (I realise it doesn't need validating BTW).

I use to dream of miracles, accidents and downright science fiction and magic.

But they didn't work.

I was certain that 'puberty' which I didn't understand, was when you chose your sex. I was going to choose being female.

Why? Oh things will change when you reach puberty. People said. Great I thought, I can be normal.

That was one of a litany of lies that I was told.

[Edge]

Yeah a lot of little things make a lot more sense now.
Like why I want to look like a guy so badly and how I've felt about other guys over the years.

[Darth_Taco]

I got a couple of weird stories, including the urination story when I was 4 :'P. I've said it before, but I doubt anyone remembers xD. I'll quickly say it again :'D. When I was around 4 and my brother was 3, he was just learning how to urinate standing up. Me, being me decided I was going to learn too :'P. Some time later my mom saw me in the bathroom crying my eyes out with my pants down. She freaked out and immediately came to my side. She asked me what was wrong, thinking something horrible had just happened. I told her how I had failed at using the bathroom like "other boys" XP. The sense of relief and laughter that came over her was priceless, just like my intense anger because she was laughing at my "misery" xD. I was very overly dramatic at that age :'P.

Another example I have is when I was in elementary school, we wore uniforms at one school I attended. Since there were no specific rules stating that you couldn't wear the opposite gender's uniform, I always used the boy's uniform :'D. I did the same in middle school when I ended up in a similar school lacking the same policy.

In high school I made it a point to always be late to P.E. so that I didn't have to change with everyone else @_@. I later joined JROTC to avoid that for good :'D. It helped that even the women's uniforms were still masculine looking. Too bad my drug addiction got a lot worse then and I was not invited back XP. Oh well, we only needed 2 years of P.E. I have more stories, but I need time and sleep to remember them.