[Disgust With Society] It's Really Too Bad That,...

[rhonda13000]

 

...that some of us need to train or work out hard [or continue to], take martial arts or self-defense training [or continue to, or even to expand the scope of such], carry weapons [or continue to] to protect or defend ourselves against society's small-minded miscreants.

I suppose that doesn't necessarily obviate nor preclude a joyful, feminine presentation, but it complicates the equation.

I dress 'en-femme' full time and the demeanor is much more friendly, joyful and at ease now that I am finally journeying toward the true, than it ever has nominally been in the preceding 40+ years, but sometimes the 'old fire' is involuntarily summoned forth and it has a distinctly male flavor.

There was a time when I was at a computer show; I was again dressed 'en femme' wearing my typical garb [skin tight compression top & Calvin Klein jeans, pretty pink glasses, nice figure, boobs pretty much hanging out there and sucking on a Jolly Rancher lollipop]; I wanted a 9 VDC power supply in order to retrofit my One-Touch unit for AC power.

I was rummaging through one dealer's used parts tray which had wallpacks in it and I noticed out of the corner of my eye the two guys behind the table staring at me and smiling pruriently.

Well, Rhonda doesn't react well to such [a vestige of my troublesome youth] and finding a 9 VDC wallpack, I turned and held it out to them at arm's length as though I were holding a handgun, body rigidly poised, locked eyes with one of them with a cold, hard stare and asked, "How much?"

The grin rapidly vanished from both of them and after a moment or two, responded.

A fully automatic response, on my part.   

I suppose that it is a function of balance, which is learned over a period of time [learning curve]; the problem for me though is that it triggers a cascade of...negative behavioral modalities which were acquired over so many years of sustained adversity.

I haven't been even verbally assaulted since I began transition back in 2005, but I suppose that it is coming.

The 'soldier' in me insists on preparedness and maintaining capability for reciprocating a harsh and decisive response to threat or actual assault, but I would rather that it did not have to be that way.