I need help, support, and someone to talk to

[Inspector Alex]

I am on a quest to become who I am on the inside, on the outside. I don't know exactly where I fit, if I am ftm trans or if I am just genderqueer. The only thing I know for sure is how I feel about my body. I definitely know I want my breasts gone completely. I also know that I prefer to see myself in men's clothing, because it makes me feel confident, comfortable, and happy. I just absolutely hate having boobs. Sometimes I wish I had a penis, and I would definitely like to look like a guy, instead of a girl. I read that ftm transgenders want to be accepted as the opposite sex by others- I myself do not want to be looked at and seen as a woman. I want to be looked at and seen as a person. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see, and I have already said what would make me happy. I am a teen and I have just recently come to terms with all of this being okay, and that I do not have to look and act my sex to "fit in"and be accepted.
Still, all of this is very difficult for me. Telling my Mom will be the absolute hardest thing for me to do. I do not know how to tell her. I also need help with coming out to all of my other family members. Most importantly, though, I need help and someone to talk to so that I can figure out who I am and evaluate what all of this means for me and my future.
Thank you for your help and support.

[suzifrommd]

I am on a quest to become who I am on the inside, on the outside. I don't know exactly where I fit, if I am ftm trans or if I am just genderqueer. The only thing I know for sure is how I feel about my body. I definitely know I want my breasts gone completely. I also know that I prefer to see myself in men's clothing, because it makes me feel confident, comfortable, and happy. I just absolutely hate having boobs. Sometimes I wish I had a penis, and I would definitely like to look like a guy, instead of a girl. I read that ftm transgenders want to be accepted as the opposite sex by others- I myself do not want to be looked at and seen as a woman. I want to be looked at and seen as a person. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see, and I have already said what would make me happy. I am a teen and I have just recently come to terms with all of this being okay, and that I do not have to look and act my sex to "fit in"and be accepted.
Still, all of this is very difficult for me. Telling my Mom will be the absolute hardest thing for me to do. I do not know how to tell her. I also need help with coming out to all of my other family members. Most importantly, though, I need help and someone to talk to so that I can figure out who I am and evaluate what all of this means for me and my future.
Thank you for your help and support.

Welcome to Susan's.

I agree that the first step is to tell your mother. You don't know how she will react, so give her a chance to pleasantly surprise her. Be prepared to explain what it means to be transgendered - most people don't know and don't understand but everyone can be educated if they're willing to be. Hopefully she can help you find a therapist who can help you decide what you need and how to get there.

Good luck Alex.

[justmeinoz]

You have 7000+ brothers and sisters watching your back now. 
At this stage Genderqueer sounds like a good label, as it really has no clear definition so it can be whatever you like.
Coming out to your Mum is a major step, have you considered taking the angle that you are questioning a lot of things in your life, and talking around the subject to see how she might take it?  That way she can see you are serious and not just "going through a phase".
Sometimes things turn out to be an anticlimax too, so hope it goes well.

Karen.