Not really sure what the term would be for me

[muffinpants]

So, I recently got on these forums because my significant other is going to be transitioning soon (mtf), but it got me to thinking about myself. I've always had -issues- with gender stuff but I'm not sure what the actual term would be for what I feel or if there is one. I was hoping maybe you guys would have a better clue about it and could help me come up with something.

Well lets see, I am biologically female, and as a kid growing up, I thought that was pretty okay. I think girls definitely get more freedom when they are growing up and I liked getting to wear pocahontas and lion king shirts to school. My basic wardrobe was a cat shirt and bright green shorts, I thought I was the crap lol! But when puberty hit me, it all went downhill. I was disgusted at what I was. Being perceived sexually in anyway almost made me ill, still does when it is from anyone buy my love... I was never able to wear revealing clothes, even if I wanted to, like trying stuff like that on, i felt repulsed by myself seeing it (still do). As of now, I happily wear t-shirts and girlie jeans. Neutral enough to me.

Another thing is that I really hate when people assume I like to do 'feminine' things. I do enjoy many typically female activities, but I also enjoy many male-oriented ones. I get annoyed when people feel as if they must categorize all things. Like I enjoy video games, star trek, fishing, and warhammer alongside reading (gay fantasy with m/m lovers is my very favorite genre), sewing, and cooking.

Luckily for me a lot of these issues have been feeling a lot better lately thanks to my love coming out about being trans, I think I'll feel a lot more comfortable when people aren't assuming I'm in a heterosexual relationship.

Otherwise, though, I enjoy the way I look physically. I keep my hair with bangs and a little longer than shoulder length, don't wear makeup or anything. This is all I can think up right now, but yeah, is there any term that could be used to describe someone like me or am I just kinda screwy?

[noeleena]

Hi,

Screwy, No,  If anything like myself ....different..... okay      ,dont ever put your self down It's harder to get up.

Im intersexed im different  doing things never a problem If i could do something & enjoyed that i did it .

I have a few different hobbys wether its building working on machinery or doing sewing  cleaning house or being with our grandkids  for me there is no role, boys do this or girls do that,

I was never forced in to ether role i could pretty much do what ever,.... One neat Mom..... hey i still got told off when i was a prat. had to learn just the same.

Now most boys or men wont design make & sew thier own clothes will they. none i know of yet if you look at me with the perspective of a male then im weird, skirts tops all different bonnits hats scarves  plus other detail

if you look at me from a female side of things then youd say thats really so neat. so what am i do i get judged on what i do or am i accepted for who i am. see the  difference .

It comes down to who you are as a person not just what you maybe able to do.

There are some things i like from the boys side & theres a lot more from the girls side,

As youll quess im a woman who is different. yet i do have a maleness about me. 
If you like our makeup is part of what makes us so different we are not all the same like little robots .

we are just who we are, so just accept your self love your self be kind to your self & live  just enjoy being different & you know what   allow your self to grow in to a beautyfull person .

I belive your name should express who you are  not a lable or term.  real name that is .

My birth name reflects both male & female  no-el or noel is both male / female.

...noeleena...

[justmeinoz]

Screwy? Nope, you just sound like a happy, well adjusted human to me.  Labels are for clothes.
Sometimes it takes a while to realise that we really are the only one on the parade ground who is in step.
Have a big virtual hug for staying with your love, that sort of support is priceless.  Friends are all well and good, but being able to reach out in the night and know that someone who cares is there is incomparably better.
So how about, "really nice person?"

Karen.

[eli77]

Words are a communication device, a way of expressing ourselves to other people and sometimes even inside our own head. I don't think it's invalid to want a way to describe yourself. But there are... limitations on language when it comes to gender. There are lots and lots of words out there, but the variations of people are still vastly more numerous than the available words. So it's always "best fit."

I have... comfort issues with being gendered by society in the sense of assumptions about my masculinity or femininity. And imposed male/female labels on things make me irritable. I tend to see gender as an external rather than internal thing - something that comes from other people, not from me. I sometimes use non-binary, tomboy or queer to describe myself. I've also called myself a "girl without a gender identity" as a kind of joke. Technically I fit closest to the definition of "null gender" or "agender" but I don't like those words so I don't use them for myself (it just doesn't feel meaningful to me to label an absence).

Deciding on something to call yourself... it's more about your own comfort level than anything else. If we were like "here, call yourself this" it wouldn't be much different than all the other gender crap you have to deal with all the time anyway.

[muffinpants]

Thanks all of you for the replies and your support. Some days it's just a lil hard trying to explain yourself to the common man, I was hoping for someway of just having one word and telling them 'look it up!!' but oh well. I guess it makes for interesting conversation 

[ativan]

That one word would be 'human'. You could go with, "gender, go look it up, you might be surprised. Get back to me on what you find.".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender

This is a good wikiwhatever that makes me smile.
By the time you get to the end of it, you realize you may be more confused than when you started reading it.

By being yourself, your true gender becomes apparent.

Ativan