A question about T

[Dan G.]

So, I've been talking a lot to my girlfriend about getting on T and such, and she's taking all of it surprisingly well. She's been reading and looking up all sorts of stuff to try to understand me better and giving me little tidbits of information she finds as well.

Lately she's been fretting over something that a friend told her. Her friend, who is currently married to an FtM Trans man, said that after her husband started T, he began to become distanced, and he changed completely. My girlfriend and I are seriously worried about this. I've looked up the effects of T, and I've seen stuff about enlarged hearts, body hair, becoming more aggressive and stuff like that, but never anything like this. Granted, this really hasn't damaged my want to go on hormones, I just really want to know. I really want to be able to give her a solid answer.

[Adam (birkin)]

I personally have become a lot more mellow, and capable of handling stress, since starting T. I think there may be a biological component, and I think the other part is the psychological relief of some dysphoria as my body gets closer to "right."

But I also believe that transition is very stressful for a lot of people, when it comes to jobs, dealing with changes (even positive changes can cause stress), family, etc. If someone isn't ready for the challenges that come with hormonal transition (or unmet expectations), I can see someone becoming more angry and distant. Absolutely. That's why I think hormones negatively affect the disposition of most people.

[Ayden]

The only change I have had is I am just happier. The hormones haven't changed my level of affection that I show my partner, hasn't changed the way I display emotions, hasn't prevented me from crying. T doesn't change who you are fundamentally. For most guys it just makes them feel better, more right. The act of starting the hormones makes the biggest difference, I think. Honestly, I think a lot of folks get the changes mentally and emotionally that they expect to get from them.

[Dan G.]

For me personally, there have been significant changes in my disposition since I started T.  I stepped out of the 'pit of despair...' being constantly, brutally frustrated by dysphoria and lack of progress, and having much of my life revolve around simply trying to cope with the ways things were - into a brave new world in which my dysphoria is greatly relieved, I have validation of my identity, I can see progress creeping in, and the enormous stress of waiting, waiting, waiting has vanished overnight.  I am less stressed, more confident, more functional, less self-abusive, more energetic, and much happier just from this alone, without touching any of the effects of T on the brain.  (Speaking only for myself.)

If I may speculate, I feel that starting HRT is a big enough deal that it makes sense it would change the dynamics between a person and their partner in some way.

That really makes me feel a lot better, as I did have some small fear of actually going through with it, but I've always been sure that this is what I want. I'm trying to get a therapist right now, and I feel a little better about my current progress. I feel like I'm really heading in the right direction. I can't wait to have that same feeling. It's exciting!

[Dan G.]

I personally have become a lot more mellow, and capable of handling stress, since starting T. I think there may be a biological component, and I think the other part is the psychological relief of some dysphoria as my body gets closer to "right."

But I also believe that transition is very stressful for a lot of people, when it comes to jobs, dealing with changes (even positive changes can cause stress), family, etc. If someone isn't ready for the challenges that come with hormonal transition (or unmet expectations), I can see someone becoming more angry and distant. Absolutely. That's why I think hormones negatively affect the disposition of most people.

I'm generally really mellow, although I will admit, I can be sort of a softie, and I do cry a lot. ;A; But I think that doing hormones will make me feel so much better about my self image, and I really want to be closer to "right", you know?

And yeah, I can totally get that, this is a huge thing, and it's gonna be hard on Corina, and it's already hard on my family. My sister is 9 years old, and she doesn't quite grasp why my mom is so stressed out with me. I know it's hard for her to accept, but this will make me so much happier with myself, and my life. Corina's got it hard too though, one of her long-time friends bashed me and told her "go be gay with your gender dysphoric FREAK". Granted, I'm gonna face a lot of that, but I grew up on the notion that hardship is worth the reward in the end for the right causes.

[Dan G.]

The only change I have had is I am just happier. The hormones haven't changed my level of affection that I show my partner, hasn't changed the way I display emotions, hasn't prevented me from crying. T doesn't change who you are fundamentally. For most guys it just makes them feel better, more right. The act of starting the hormones makes the biggest difference, I think. Honestly, I think a lot of folks get the changes mentally and emotionally that they expect to get from them.

That's really great to hear Ayden, and it really makes me feel loads better. I guess I've just been hearing things from all the wrong sources. Everyone always says things about the negative effects of hormone therapy, but they never sya any of the positive effects of it. It's reassuring to finally be hearing some positivity about hormone therapy.