Things Getting Tense

[Dawn Heart]

I am comfortable with my therapist, she seems really good at what she does. However, we're still stuck on doing questions and answers, stuck on trauma interviews and questionaires, etc. I am really trying to get past all of this and just get to the heart of the matter. She seems to listen well, but I'm starting to worry about whether or not she's pathologising everything I say and do or if she's just not comfortable with ME.

Maybe it's ME who's being too worried here because of my own history with people. I understand she wants to treat the PTSD, but I want to talk about what's on my mind and I feel like her effort to get everything on paper and done via interviews based on Q&A sessions so far is keeping me from getting the relief I so desire to have. Maybe she's measuring my level of patience and cooperation? I know and can see from her dedicated, detailed work and her attention to the details that she wants me to have quality care, and get it all right this time since I've been improperly diagnosed in the past.

Seems to me she is limiting my talk time in the interest of time so she can complete these interviews with me, but I NEED to talk. I mean really talk. Am I being too impatient? Should I just shut up and wait some more until she's at the point where we are done with all of these interviews? Last session, I said some stuff about things that happened to me in the area I live in based on gender appearances and her eyes opened wide like she thought I was paranoid and she needed to really worry until I was able (I think) to get her straight on everything.

In the meantime, I am dealing with someone in my house who is just being horribly unfair and pushing me past my set boundaries. I am now feeling like I am wrong no matter what I do. Just recently, I started thinking that all of this is just stupid and I should just give up and crawl back under a rock and pretend not to exist. 

[Cindi Jones]

Patience is difficult when all you want to do is take action. Everyone, it seems, is in cahoots to hold you back. We all experience this to some degree. It's good to air your feelings, look at your own progress, and see what you can do to move forward. There's almost always something that you can do to make a positive change. You might find a way to communicate your frustration to your therapist without sounding too anxious. Think about it some.

[suzifrommd]

Dawn, I don't know you or your therapist, so my opinion isn't really worth a lot, but I'll tell you what I think anyway.

I'm concerned that your therapist "wants to get it all down on paper." I can see for the first few hours she'd want to inventory your issues, but if you've been seeing her for weeks or months, and this is still going on, that seems really unusual to me. I've been to a lot of therapists for various issues, and none of them operated that way.

You can ask yourself whether she is the right therapist for you. I'm not saying she isn't. Like I said, I don't know either of you. But you can ask the question. There are a lot of therapists and they need you more than you need them. Choosing a therapist is a process of shopping around.

Good luck.

[JoanneB]

I can see the first session or two being more one sided. Sometimes called an intake interview to get background etc.. THat is how mine ran. But after the intake period then I cannot see why dancing around WHY you are there.  She is working for you after all.

How experienced is this therapist with TG issues? Or flat out how comfortableis she dealing with clients who are TG? Either of these can explain why she avoids the 800 lb gorilla.

[Dawn Heart]

I just saw her again a day or two ago for our weekly appointment and she actually let me talk about the more recent, heavier stresses going on. She actually laid out her plan somewhat, and it seems that she is using these Q&A sessions involving questionaires that ask about symptoms to get a "baseline". She said that the treatment for the PTSD has to take precedence before we talk about much else, and that the treatment is very specific, taking several months.

We have limited time in our sessions at just less than an hour. She seems to be pretty "together" and seems to have a plan of sorts in hand. I'll see how it goes.