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Feeling useless and in need of some advice please :(

Started by princessme, September 03, 2012, 11:53:46 AM

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princessme

I am really feeling very useless and upset at the moment and crying while writing this. My partner (pre op trans woman) is very stressed. She was in the process of buying a house in order to be able to live full time as a woman. The seller of the house has pulled out. This is the first time I have ever seen her stressed about anything. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am a straight female, we are a new couple (been an item about a month) and I am still feeling quite overwhelmed by some things although am very happy with the relationship. I offer support all the time, compliments anything I can do to make her feel really special, that's how much she means to me. But, the past couple of days have been awful, she has been snapping at me when I have been offering to listen and to talk things through. I am an Angel Therapist, I work with Angels all the time and believe they can help situations when asked. My partner said to me last night 'where are the stupid Angels? They haven't helped me'. This to me is a great insult, I feel so hurt that she would knock my belief like that and even if it was said out of temper, she never apologised to me. Again this morning she snapped at me. I had to walk outside cos I really didn't know what to say. She did follow me outside to apologise but it didn't really sound very heartfelt. We are both very stressed, I have an ill family member at the moment, which is consuming my time and thoughts on top of looking after my 3 year old, but I would never dream of taking it out on my partner. I have offered support and I just feel like it has been thrown back at me to the point where I don't know what to say to her at the moment if anything. We promised we would always talk to each other about any problems but I don't think this is being done. I don't want this relationship to end, I have been trying so very hard. I don't have anyone to talk to about all this. I feel like I am treading on egg shells. As much as I don't understand fully what she is going through, the knock off not having the house and living the way she wants to live makes me feel so very sad. Please can someone offer me some advice/guidance as I feel my strength to continue is weakening. :( I love this woman with all my heart, but I can't be strong for her and continue offering her support all the time when I am being made to feel miserable in return. 
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Ms. OBrien CVT

Sounds like she is stress about not getting the house and her transition.  She is not sure where to turn. 

However I think that if she knows you love her, through words and actions, it will help relieve some of it.  Leave the door open for her to come to you.


  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Andi31

Regardless of her being stressed you do not deserve to be treated this way.
There comes a time myself being guilty of this behaviour when it's easy to blame the stress or the transition or other factors but the fact remained for me that it was myself and my partner versus the world and hell I better stop making excuses about the hormones etc and find a way to show her that her support and love means the world to me.

I now tell her when I'm really down and go out for a walk with her sometimes or just by myself and it passes. Walking is great for stress also just cuddling on the couch and talking is also great and works well for us.

I respect my partner so much for her love and support and even with our 19 month old daughter who just calls me Andi which I love we find time to just enjoy those moments and vent to each other about anything knowing a problem shared is better for all of us.

Well I hope that you can get past this awkward part and really come together as a team with respect for each other. It's not easy but with communication and mediation it can be done.

Andi

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rosaclinic

She should respect your feelings. I think you people need an open talk to each other. you should let her know that it is not acceptable for you and sort out the matter instead of teasing.
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