The Never-Ending Story

[Jamie D]

... was astounded to see, performing in the piano bar, Billy Joel and the Dancing Ferret Revue.     

"Hey, piano man!  Play 'Piano Man'."  And as for you ferrets, I'm going to ...

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

"join in".  He found a cute pink tutu and began dancing with the ferrets.  The patrons just ...

[Kevin Peña]

...looked in awe with their camera phones out as the huntsmen managed to pull off some complicated moves. The huntsman twirls into somebody, knocking his drink out of his hand. The man got up and walked to the huntsman with purpose, passion in his eyes. He turned the huntsman around and...

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

kissed the huntsman on the lips.  The huntsman stepped back, looked at the man and ...

[Jamie D]

 requested Billy Joel play his hit song about Catholic girls.  The ferrets began to dance and ...

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

the huntsman grab the man and they began dancing.  The patrons began to ...

[Kevin Peña]

...made it so that they all released violent farts. The building had to be evacuated. The HazMat teams arrived and...

[MadelineB]

were joined on the sidewalk by former ambassador to China Jon Huntsman Jr and a news team from CNN. As Mr. Huntsman stepped towards the doorway...

[Jamie D]

He was caught on camera letting rip a huge fart.  The camera crew all gagged.  The footage was immediately on Headline News.  He became admired by admired worl wide.

On the other hand, the ferrets thought ...

[Alexis]

...that things were getting a little weird around here (and these are dancing ferrets mind you )
They huddled together and decided they were going to...

[Kevin Peña]

...light the methane from all of the farts on fire so they could watch the pretty explosion. One ferret pulled out a lighter and...

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

"Broooom"  The restaurant erupted into a ball of flame.  The huntsman's hair was singed off as was his eye brows.  CNN got it all on tape.

[Kevin Peña]

And like CNN usual does, they focused on unimportant dribble. They made a laughing stock out of the huntsman, the man in the pink tutu. Upon hearing of this newscast, the huntsman...

[Jamie D]

... swore he would have his revenge on Ted Turner and those lousy ferrets.  "Ted Turner, if I ever get ahold of you I'm going to ...

[Kevin Peña]

...file the biggest lawsuit ever! In short, the huntsman did and he won the position of CEO of CNN. With his newfound power, the huntsman...

[Jamie D]

married Jane Fonda.  Acting as his best man was ...

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

the ferret.  They both looked handsome in their tuxs.  Jane was dressed in a ...

[twit]

slightly non-traditional wedding outfit..

[Jamie D]

The matron-of-honor was none other than



Cindy James!

[Kevin Peña]

The wedding went off without a hitch, but when it came time to give the best man speech, the ferret...