Back to square one

[Gadgett]

Hello all,

I know that I haven't been around for a while, but life has been running full blast as I have hard absolutely zero time for anything more. But that hit a brick wall yesterday.

I have been trying to do this right and go through the proper channels with the VA so I've had to sit through one boring appointment after another, believing that it would be worth it. But here is what doing it right gets you. A bunch of wasted time and a no at the end. I had been given my psych evaluation and the first time it came back as inconclusive. The second time it came back I was able to read the professional results and I had to laugh.

One thing you have to know about me, I don't do drugs and I have one drink maybe once a month and that is for social reasons. So I thought it was a joke when the evaluation stated that I was in denial about my drug and alcohol abuse. Well the joke was on me as I got a call yesterday with my psychologist informing me that due to the results of the eval, he was not going to recommend me for HRT.

I took the news very well as he asked what I was going to do now, and I simply replied that I am still going to pursue this. But I can't help but now feel betrayed. Especially after what happened last week, when a judge had ordered the first state funded SRS for a convicted murder. So just so I am not going Beck Brainless here, let me verify. I have never been arrested, been to jail much less prison, have always done the right thing, as well as serve my country in the army and deployed to Iraq, and I can't get approved for HRT, but someone kills their wife and they get theirs free and clear?!?

Another thing I don't get is, if I am not mentally fit for HRT then why was I deemed completely mentally competent to be deigned disability for said mental condition? Right now, I have a new case manager and he has never dealt with TGs before so I emailed him a copy of the SOC for Transgendered Veterans from both their website and the National Center for Transgender Equality. So now I have to come up with a new plan of attack. I should have known something when my psychologist stated that if he provided me the letter, that I would have to go outside to find a physician for my prescription.

One other thing I still need to do is to get a copy of this evaluation and a letter from my psychologist stating why I am being deigned just in case this becomes a legal matter. I have always taken life as it comes, but I am through allowing myself to be pushed around and be told no.

So if any of my fellow veterans out there have any suggestions on my next plan of action I would greatly appreciate it. Loves to all. -Gadg

[Devlyn]

Good to see you again! I hope we can come up with some good information for you. Working with the government can be frustrating. Hugs, Devlyn

[A]

I'm not a veteran or anything, but personally, I would require exactly why they deemed you as a drugs and alcohol user. That's a false accusation and it's pretty grave. Don't just smile and walk away; fight them if they're lying.

A simple example, once, I saw a psychiatrist, and he naturally assumed that I smoked marijuana from my urine analysis results. Not sure what could have happened if I hadn't stood up and insisted that I hadn't ever tried that and it was a false positive.

[Asfsd4214]

I'm not a veteran or anything, but personally, I would require exactly why they deemed you as a drugs and alcohol user. That's a false accusation and it's pretty grave. Don't just smile and walk away; fight them if they're lying.

A simple example, once, I saw a psychiatrist, and he naturally assumed that I smoked marijuana from my urine analysis results. Not sure what could have happened if I hadn't stood up and insisted that I hadn't ever tried that and it was a false positive.

In addition to why they deemed you a substance abuser, I would also demand to know why this disqualifies you from HRT. There are no HRT drugs that have any recreational value, they're not even controlled substances.

The only reason I can see to justify it is arguing that your gender dysphoria is some form of substance induced psychosis, which is kinda stretching it if you have no other symptoms of psychosis and the evidence for drug abuse at all is already flimsy.

I've never told any psychiatrist I wanted to get something out of (e.g. a letter) about my drug abuse, so I'm not sure what they'd do in regards to stuff like that. I told one psychologist I had trust in, and some psychiatrists I've seen as a hospital inpatient for other mental health problems. Maybe it's because of where I live but unless it's an inpatient rehab I've never seen psychs drug test patients here.

[A]

Well, being in denial of some issues can be an indication that the person is in denial globally, i.e. is currently saying they're transsexual but they know deep down they're not. Plus, someone who would abuse, say, drugs would be more likely to overdose on HRT, because they commonly misuse products. And someone who's alcoholic would be required to treat that to relieve their liver before giving them medication that's hard on it.

There are probably a few more reasons why not only abusing drugs/alcohol but also not admitting it is an issue, but it's of no consequence here: there's no such thing to begin with...

[Kitty_Babe]

I remember my evalutations, hmmm yeah. I am completely nuts, apprently. So needed treatment ! yay worked for me.. xD

[Gadgett]

I do apologize as I posted about the drugs and alcohol abuse as an example of how absurd the assessment was.

I think the main reason is because of the fact that I got out due of the army was due to suicidal tendencies. What can I say, it's in my record. Thing is, I'm far from suicidal because of the transition. All this does is push me back towards that edge, which I explained. I can't help it I can't stand lying. I'm one of those honest goody two-shoes. and it kills me to know I have no choice  but to once again be something I'm not.

Once again, it goes to show that their is no room for honest people anymore. I refuse to allow my integrity to be used against me anymore. Just because they have problems being honest doesn't mean I have to come down to their level. I find it insulting that once again, I'm being punished for doing the right thing. Funny how that works.

Why is it that they will take away something that is helping you get better?

[Asfsd4214]

Well, being in denial of some issues can be an indication that the person is in denial globally, i.e. is currently saying they're transsexual but they know deep down they're not. Plus, someone who would abuse, say, drugs would be more likely to overdose on HRT, because they commonly misuse products. And someone who's alcoholic would be required to treat that to relieve their liver before giving them medication that's hard on it.

There are probably a few more reasons why not only abusing drugs/alcohol but also not admitting it is an issue, but it's of no consequence here: there's no such thing to begin with...

What rubbish.

Putting aside your views on denial where I think your analogy just falls apart (it's like saying, I'm not an alcoholic I'm really a virgo not a libra, you can be in denial but that's no explanation as to why you'd come up with something entirely irreverent that you don't deny at all).

You think drug users would be prone to overdosing on HRT medications? HRT medications do not provide any form of recreational value. It's less of a stretch to say you should make it illegal for addicts to fuel their car because they're more prone to huffing the petrol fumes. 
Or is it that you think they would think "more equals better", something people who are completely ignorant of drugs commonly believe. It's a really REALLY poor justification.

And as for being hard on liver, yes, you should avoid giving people at risk of liver damage, like alcoholics (but not all drug abuses generally), or addicts with hepatitis , drugs that are contraindicated for risks of hepatic toxicity.

But I've said it before on this forum and I'll say it again. Apart from cyproterone, virtually NONE of the medications we take for HRT are particularly hard on the liver. Obviously they're harder on it than taking NOTHING, but you have to make judgement based on relativity. It's only through profound ignorance and transcentric thinking that we seem to have this viewpoint. Taking too much over the counter tylenol is massively more dangerous to your liver that even excessive dosage of HRT medications (note that this does not include non-human estrogens), let alone correct dosage.

The problem with our community is it's filled with people who so badly want to believe that the system works that they'll come up with flimsy arguments to justify the injustice that the medical establishment bestows upon us.

[A]

Uhm, I'm tired and bad at arguing on top of hating it, but you still don't convince me. To me, if someone lies about something, they might lie about something else. Suicidal tendencies. Other undiagnosed issues. I believe doctors are right in being cautious about prescribing things when they feel the patient is not being completely honest with them. The same goes with psychiatrists and referrals. Though of course, saying "I'm not referring you" instead of working with the patient to clear those barriers is a mystery to me.

[Asfsd4214]

Uhm, I'm tired and bad at arguing on top of hating it, but you still don't convince me. To me, if someone lies about something, they might lie about something else. Suicidal tendencies. Other undiagnosed issues. I believe doctors are right in being cautious about prescribing things when they feel the patient is not being completely honest with them. The same goes with psychiatrists and referrals. Though of course, saying "I'm not referring you" instead of working with the patient to clear those barriers is a mystery to me.

I've lied to doctors countless times, once or twice I've been caught out, should they stop prescribing me interferon for multiple sclerosis because I might somehow 'abuse' it in some misguided thinking that more of it will be better for my MS? 

[JoanneB]

One factor I've found fairly common to all transitioned TSs is that their choices on how to go on in their lives was either A) Transition or B) Kill myself. If suicidal tendacies disqualified us from HRT there would be either a lot of lying or dead TSs out there. Many also self-medicated with alcohol or drugs to chase away the evil thoughts. I suspect very few of us never thought about suicide in any manner, such as seriously or fleeting.

I came to realize so many of the train wrecks in my life had a root cause of my trans status. After moving to the boonies from just outside NYC I knew finding a for real GT under a 3 hour drive was nil. My goal for a therapist was one who at least had some understanding of what a TG person goes through to help me correct some, if not all, my self-destructive thinking and behaviours. I found one through my TG group 90 miles away.

Ideally a therapist needs to evaluate you to be sure that you are just not "running away" from your gender as a means to escape other issues before clearing you for HRT. I suspect even God would occassionally have a hard time making that call which is why I suspect there are plenty of essentially informed consent therapist out there. As long as you seem rational about the decision, sure go ahead if this is what you think you need to do for your life.

Another fairly common observation that I've read is that for most TSs even low dose HRT helps to clear a lot of the miasma wafting around in your head. Not so for non-TSs