Random questions from a new future MtF (Renamed from voice, hormones...)

[Annah]

Voice training seems incredibly daunting to me, I'd be so worried about slipping up. Strangest thing is I brought the topic of voice training up to my therapist and she basically looked at me aghast and gave me the whole "Why would you want that? You don't need voice training, the whole point of doing this is to be yourself! Besides the hormones should soften your voice a little, it effects the voices of natural women!" 

*facepalms*  More and more I'm wondering if she might be a bad fit

if your voice therapist told you that, then you need to drop that person....quickly. My therapist told me it should be the first thing I should start working on ..even before HRT.

[Firecat]

if your voice therapist told you that, then you need to drop that person....quickly. My therapist told me it should be the first thing I should start working on ..even before HRT.

No no, my normal "gender" therapist told me that, though its still just as crazy and incomprehensible regardless.

[Erica]

if your voice therapist told you that, then you need to drop that person....quickly. My therapist told me it should be the first thing I should start working on ..even before HRT.

I run into this a lot.  I'm mostly stealth, and I've had several friends and family members who know me before tell me that I should just be me, be proud of what I am, and not care what other people think.  It's a lovely sentiment, but it so profoundly misses the point.  I *am* proud of what I am, but I didn't transition because I wanted to be a transsexual.  The point is for the world to treat me as a woman, not as something different. 

I've also had a lot of doctors tell me a lot of weird things over the years that are just so profoundly not true.  It can be a little frustrating. 

[Firecat]

Right, and here I am at the beginning of all of this, not even sure if my face would pass, or if my voice could ever truly fit the bill, or whether to go with electrolysis or laser, or if any of this will really turn out to be what I truly hope it will be for me in improving my life. Its like they don't even understand how important any of this is for our self esteem.  My greatest fear is actually being seen as just that, a transsexual, a man who became a woman. Physically, yeah okay it will be true, but mentally, as we all understand... far from it, and all I really want is just the same as you Erica, to be treated as a woman. I loathe being male.

[Firecat]

Oh back onto the topic of voice, after you reach said new octave, will it be possible for one to maintain it through regular (female) speech, or is further vocal practice necessary?

[Erica]

Right, and here I am at the beginning of all of this, not even sure if my face would pass, or if my voice could ever truly fit the bill, or whether to go with electrolysis or laser, or if any of this will really turn out to be what I truly hope it will be for me in improving my life. Its like they don't even understand how important any of this is for our self esteem.  My greatest fear is actually being seen as just that, a transsexual, a man who became a woman. Physically, yeah okay it will be true, but mentally, as we all understand... far from it, and all I really want is just the same as you Erica, to be treated as a woman. I loathe being male.

Even four to five years ago, I was in exactly the same place you are in now.  I was sure I would never pass without major surgery.  I just couldn't see it.  I couldn't hear it, either.  Voice was frustrating. I recorded myself endlessly.  I was sure I would never get there.  Thank god, I did.  I've never seen a photo of you, give the hormones and the electrolysis time to work.  Electrolysis/laser especially can make a world of difference.  It did with me.  If you need surgery to truly pass, you won't be even close to being alone.  The most frustrating part of this is how slow it goes, and not being able to see the end result. 

If it helps, this is where I started: http://i1241.photobucket.com/albums/gg515/elindber/cc29586e.jpg

If someone had told me then that I could look like I do now....  I couldn't even begin to see it. 

[Erica]

Oh back onto the topic of voice, after you reach said new octave, will it be possible for one to maintain it through regular (female) speech, or is further vocal practice necessary?

Me?  I think I gained about an octave through maintaining my normal speaking voice.  I noticed that when singing one day, that I could suddenly hit notes in full voice that I never could before. 

[Beverly]

Right, and here I am at the beginning of all of this, not even sure if my face would pass, or if my voice could ever truly fit the bill, or whether to go with electrolysis or laser, or if any of this will really turn out to be what I truly hope it will be for me in improving my life. Its like they don't even understand how important any of this is for our self esteem.  My greatest fear is actually being seen as just that, a transsexual, a man who became a woman. Physically, yeah okay it will be true, but mentally, as we all understand... far from it, and all I really want is just the same as you Erica, to be treated as a woman.

Too many worries. Take the first steps and the rest will sort itself out. Here is my advice and a lot of it is 'reversible'

Stage 1:
- Grow out your hair
- Grow your nails
- Start dressing more androgynously
- Pluck your eyebrows
- Practice your voice.  (Here - have a laugh...  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,126967.msg1000608.html#msg1000608 )
- Start waxing arms and legs. After about 6 months move to an epilator

Stage 2:
- If you have dark hair and light skin, get laser else get electro

Stage 3: (getting irreversible)
- Hormones
- Name change
- coming out

I loathe being male.

Well then... stop doing it

Many of us find that the process is not as bad as we fear.

[Firecat]

Dark dark brown hair, olive skin (pale from lack of sun)... been shaving my legs for over a year, and alternating nair and razor on my chest. My eyebrows are still a mess, and my beard stubble never truly goes away, even with makeup.  I have been growing my hair out for about 9 months now, and was actually the first time I ever changed my hair in my life. 

Will my hair / skin color make for better laser chances? And by extension is laser permanent?  Also I have no idea what an epilator is.

I apologize for all the questions, researching by myself only leads to having more worries and questions, so its nice to hear it from somebody. I do really appreciate all the advice you are all giving, thank you!

[Beverly]

Dark dark brown hair, olive skin (pale from lack of sun)

Hmm.. Difficult to call. It may depend on the laser used. Make an appointment and get a test patch, it is the only way to know.

... been shaving my legs for over a year, and alternating nair and razor on my chest.

Neither shaving nor Nair will do you much good. Waxing and epilating will damage the hairs and over time they wil get thinner and probably stop growing. Epilating hurts like hell. Waxing hurts less and I found that waxing an area for a while weakened the hair and then epilating hurt a lot less. Now I epilate everything below the neck twice a week whether it needs it or not.

I wish it worked on bristles...

My eyebrows are still a mess,

In what way?

my beard stubble never truly goes away, even with makeup.

Laser. Electro. etc..... 

I have been growing my hair out for about 9 months now, and was actually the first time I ever changed my hair in my life. 

Also I have no idea what an epilator is.

An epilator is a device to inflict extreme pain. After about 6 months it becomes a merely unpleasant way to remove hair. After a year it works just fine. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epilator

I apologize for all the questions, researching by myself only leads to having more worries and questions, so its nice to hear it from somebody. I do really appreciate all the advice you are all giving, thank you!

Do not worry, we were all in the same situation once.

[Firecat]

My eyebrows? Just thick and bushy, having a hell of a time just keeping them from growing together 

Shaving my legs I'm fine with, but I want something a little longer lasting anywhere above. Is waxing something I can do myself?

As far as Electrolysis vs Laser, I heard Laser has far less chance of serious scarring (not saying there won't be any chance) from what I've read... Electrolysis potentially leaving discolored skin kind of scares me in itself.

The biggest scare of all, however, is my family history with baldness. My brother started losing his hair when he was 24, and is now 28 with that evil horse-shoe showing. I'm currently 24 and have had a bit of hairline recession (not tooooo much). I like to believe that its just a maturing of the hairline, but one can never be too cautious. I've always had much thicker hair than him. So on top of it all, I'm looking for a good diet or hair product that might give me an edge and at least slow it down until I get on hormones, as I heard that those will at the very least drastically slow down further hair loss.

All in all, I've been desperate to get myself situated and under way, and I've been nothing but a worry wart for this and that for months on end

[Beverly]

My eyebrows? Just thick and bushy, having a hell of a time just keeping them from growing together 

In that case, just keep plucking. The hairs give up eventually.

Shaving my legs I'm fine with, but I want something a little longer lasting anywhere above. Is waxing something I can do myself?

Yes, easily. Buy wax strips.

As far as Electrolysis vs Laser, I heard Laser has far less chance of serious scarring (not saying there won't be any chance) from what I've read... Electrolysis potentially leaving discolored skin kind of scares me in itself.

Both have to be done by experienced people but electrolysis should be less or a problem because it is done in small patches so if there are problems only a small spot wil be affected. You really need to try it and see, there is no other way to be sure.

The biggest scare of all, however, is my family history with baldness. My brother started losing his hair when he was 24, and is now 28 with that evil horse-shoe showing. I'm currently 24 and have had a bit of hairline recession. I like to believe that its just a maturing of the hairline, but one can never be too cautious. I've always had much thicker hair than him. So on top of it all, I'm looking for a good diet or hair product that might give me an edge and at least slow it down until I get on hormones, as I heard that those will at the very least drastically slow down further hair loss.

You could try using Saw Palmetto which is a herbal product that is supposed to interfere with the production of DHT which makes your hair fall out. Spearmint tea is meant to have a similar effect. Try the Saw Palmetto but watch out for sore nipples as some report it gives minor breast growth. You can buy Saw Palmetto at any health store. It may make no difference at all or it might but hair is sloooowwww to grow and it would probably take 6 to 12 months before you know.

Another option is Minoxidil. Go for the generic rather than Rogaine / Regaine which is the same stuff but at 4 times the price. It can cause some shedding of hair but this is supposed to be caused by fresh growth pushing out older hairs. Once again, allow 6 months before judging whether it works.

All in all, I've been desperate to get myself situated and under way, and I've been nothing but a worry wart for this and that for months on end

To finish, you actually have to start...... I know it is not easy (been there, done that) but it does get easier.

[Annah]

Firecat

Hopefully, this can help alleviate some tension

This was me three years ago:



Here I am a couple years later:




The simple truth is you will never know how you will turn out...it's like a girl who is pregnant. She will never know what the baby will look like until it's born. When it's born, she wont really know what the baby will look like when she is 5. Again when she graduates high school. However, when you look back you can see the similarities. You just really have a harder time seeing it in a future perspective.

And I agree with the others. Being who I am also requires me to have changed my voice. My older voice wasn't who I was. Now, I know there are those who do not want to change their voice and they are ok with that. However, everyone is different. If you changing your voice is important to you, do not let any therapist or other transgender tell you otherwise.

Also, about whether or not to do electro or laser: I opted for laser. It was much much cheaper. It was quicker and two year later I haven't shaved my face once. My laser..got a deal for 990 dollars with a lifetime guarantee. When I looked into electro, it would have taken longer, costs me over 8000 dollars and I would had to grow patches of beard on my face for them to treat it. For me, it wasn't a hard decision.

[Firecat]

Your face looks great after Laser, I must say.  I'm pretty envious of that actually, did they say whether it was permanent, or if you'd have to go back down the road?

[A]

Laser is "permanent", with quotes. It -shouldn't- grow back. But a little bit of it can come back to say hi after a couple of years. Many just don't care about that and pluck the little bit there is. Personally, even though I paid way too much for laser, my package includes extra sessions on my face, if desired, at about 50 $, so if I see any significant regrowth, I'll go back.

[Firecat]

That is great ^.^ I think after I get myself situated, that will be the first think I look into as far as hair removal

[Annah]

As i stated...its been almost 3 years and i nvr needed to shave

[Firecat]

You could try using Saw Palmetto which is a herbal product that is supposed to interfere with the production of DHT which makes your hair fall out. Spearmint tea is meant to have a similar effect. Try the Saw Palmetto but watch out for sore nipples as some report it gives minor breast growth. You can buy Saw Palmetto at any health store. It may make no difference at all or it might but hair is sloooowwww to grow and it would probably take 6 to 12 months before you know.

Only out of curiosity, what dosage is usually recommended for this herb?

[Beverly]

Only out of curiosity, what dosage is usually recommended for this herb?

I have no idea. It will say on the side of the bottle.

[Annah]

herbal hormones has been hotly debated. Personally, I find no evidence how herbal hormones can altar the gender of a person.