Hold Onto EVERY moment!

[VoicesOfTheWind]

Just a few days ago, my life took a turn for the worst. My beloved twin sister, Sarah, passed away in our home, right before my eyes. Now a few days have passed since then....and everything is still so fresh in my mind and heart. I wont sit here and act like everything is well and good...because, truth is, it's not. I am struggling. I seem to be fluctuating between various stages of anger, grief, and denial. And the images of my sister dying I just can't get out of my head, and I know I will live with these images until the day I die. But I am not here to tell you how badly I hurt. I think most of you know that. I am writing this as a way to encourage people. A way to bring something good out of this tragic situation. And if there is one thing I want people to know...something I myself have learned through all of this...

DO NOT TAKE YOUR LOVED ONES FORGRANTED!! I was not expecting any of this to happen...everything was well in my mind. I thought it was just going to be another night like the rest. I'd go to bed, get up in the morning, see my sister, happy and healthy like usual. The last thing I ever expected to happen was to be startled by the cries of my parents screaming "call 911!". That was the moment I jumped out of bed and ran to see everything unfold. I will not go into detail...for it is something I do not wish to rehash. But I will say this....death happens when we least expect it. No one expects to die...or even their loved ones to die. But the harsh reality of this world is that death does happen...and it is all to real. Please, tell your family, your friends, everyone you care about, that you love them often. Do not take them for granted. If I could, I'd go back and do things a lot differently. I'd tell my sister I loved her every single day. I would of spent a lot more time hanging out with her..instead of wrapped up in my own world and own miseries. And now I can't get her back. I can scream, cry and yell..but still she won't come back. She is dead. Gone. And all I have left is the what ifs and questions of an uncertain future and what could of been.

So from the bottom of my heart, I just want to stress how important it is to cherish every moment with your loved ones. Because before you know it, they could be gone. Just like that. And it is no fun to sit and think about how you could of done things differntly.

Hold onto every moment!

[Jamiep]

Hi VoicesOfTheWind,

You can never be prepared for the loss of a loved one at an early age as in your situation. When I was in my late twenties my brother-in-laws brother tragically died in an auto accident at 25 years, hard to believe it is 52 years ago. I only knew him for about 5 years but in that short time became close buddies. I said to my bro-in-law, the hard part is we have the love for him but he isn't physically here to receive the love. A doctor of the girlfriend of the the lost brother said, "the balance of life is a delicate thread." I have never forgotten that. I nearly died at 5 years of age and I believe every sunrise is a minor miracle and I never take anything for granted. Regarding my dead bro-in-law, I decided I was going to hold on to the memories of life here & have fun when we get reunited in the hereafter. Don't let the "what ifs and regrets" get to you, it is a waste of time, energy and doesn't change things. Have no doubt your sister knows you love her. If you two were close like my sis & I we helped each other grow together. You are going through the grieving process and at young adult life I found the experience fast tracks your maturity. I can see that in the few short days you have posted & in your title, "Hold Onto EVERY moment!" and DO NOT TAKE YOUR LOVED ONES FORGRANTED!!

The heartache will fade in time, but you will never forget your sis, to speak of her is to validate her existence, and perhaps she will come to you in a dream. That has happened to me with some of my loved ones that have crossed over. I notice you used the word "cherish," I also like "appreciate," they are two heartfelt words. Hard in all as this experience is it will make you stronger. I am sorry for your loss, felt all the emotions in your first post. My thoughts are with you. Do Celebrate your Sisters life!
Hugs
Jamie

[Christine]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I understand the type of pain you are experiencing. I lost a brother in vietnam.  You are so right many tend to take for granted loved ones. I think your post was a beautiful expression and an effort to help others, an act of concern and compassion for others. 

Rest assured the pain will lesson over time and the bad memories will fade. Soon thereafter they will be replaced with the happy times and a feeling of warmth every time you think of her. Do not allow wouldaa, shoulda's coulda's as they are pointless and serve no purpose. Your sister knew you loved her deep down inside.

Love needs no explanations
Love is unconditional
Love is eternal

[Jamiep]

Now I am going to follow my own words to guide me through the loss of a very dear friend of about 37 years. Colleen was her name, she passed away at the young age of 63 from the dreaded Cancer of the bones (incurable) after going into remission from Breast Cancer. We met in a ski club and I was very much in love with her before I met my wife also in the ski club. Colleen married has a girl and boy in their twenties, lived north of the Toronto & I didn't have the wheels to visit. Ski club reunions, cards, along comes the internet & emails around 2000 kept us more in immediate connection. Colleen was the glue via emails with friends that kept us together, busy raising her kids got others to locate a place & date to get together. Around the mid 2000's Colleen and her husband Gary hosted an annual get together at their home until 2 years ago. In late June out on a day trip, the way home was by their place, my wife & I decide to drop in & Gary informed us of the gravity of her set back. This past weekend I left a message about us going to visit. Got back from an outing, no return call, we thought Colleen must be in hospital. We went out that night & had a message when we got home that Gary thought Colleen may have 2 or 3 days left. Sunday night I found an obit she had passed Saturday night so Gary must have gotten called back to the hospital. We feel so fortunate that we got that last marvelous visit in with dynamic, fun loving, caring & courageous friend. I do believe in communication with the spirits of those who have crossed over & hope to have a connection (I have had little bits, signs of family that have passed over), that gives me some comfort going through this. We were hoping for a miracle because Colleen deserved one. I am sure a husband isn't as prepared for a wife to pass before him, and have to be there for Gary. I am honored to have Colleen in my life and she did herself proud. Posting here, my fb page & the ski club site, sharing in the social media fabric of our life has been good therapy for me today. Thanks my Beautiful humanity of friends here if you dropped in on this post.
Love
Jamie

[Padma]

That's awful - my love to you and your family - and yes, love the living while you can xxx

[Jamiep]

Hi Padma,

You summed this up well,"love the living while you can." Colleen's life came to an unexpected abrupt end. Thanks for the love and love you for that.

Jamie

[gennee]

You have my condolences, Voices. Excellent encouragement for all of us.

[Jamiep]

gennee, you have a Beautiful heart, thank you. Yes, voices. Colleen is always a positive person that lead us to grow in our lives, never complained about her own maladies, a class act who died with dignity. A real inspiration.
Hugs
Jamie