Don't know what I should do, Need some advice?

[Aoura]

Hello everyone, hope this isn't in the wrong forum. Anyways, I don't know who I should go to with this. I haven't been my self lately over the past few months. I've been thinking about how my life will be like if I ended up becoming a girl. I have been questioning my gender/sexuality over the past few months and I don't know who I can talk to. I'm starting to question my reality, I 'm to the point if I don't know if I am a guy or a girl. It's really confusing me I don't know who to go to. I have my therapist and she says it's just a phase. I'm afraid to talk to this to her again and her saying it's a phase. I'm too afraid to bring up the topic and saying it's a phase again.

My mind has been really going on and off recently about the subject. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong in the right body. Sometimes I feel like I should of been born a girl. My mind keeps wandering on and off each day. In 3 months I will be starting my new life. I am moving out of my parents home and I'm getting a job. And I have some support with the people who are helping me with my job stuff.

I have talked to a friend and shes transgender. She told me that she think's I'm transgender and I don't know if she is right. She thinks I should explore wearing women's clothing and putting make up on and all that stuff when I get my own place. My main concern is I have these people from the county board helping me be independent, etc. And I have support from them. Should I feel safe if I had these people by my side? I have a disability and I'm with a group called MRDD if you haven't heard from it. Please no laughs.  I don't know if I decide to get transition done I don't know if I'll like it or regret it. She thinks I'll enjoy it because I talk about it allot. And I'm 21 and legal. My mind keeps going off telling me no but my other side wants me to go along with it and I would feel right being a girl. I don't know how much longer if I can handle keeping this secret.

If anyone can help me by giving me advice, tips, to help me feel more comfortable about my self I would appreciate it. Hope I'm not offending anyone here. Thanks! ^_^

EDIT: If this is in the wrong forum, please move it so I can get any replies. Thanks!

[FTMDiaries]

Hi Aoura

Congrats on taking the step of writing to this forum.

A lot of us have similar feelings, but we are all individuals. Some of us transition, some of us don't, some of us just dress in clothing that makes us more comfortable - it all depends on what we need to do to feel happy within our own skin. Some of us have known all our lives that we were born in the 'wrong body'; some of us have only just realised it recently.

The best way to figure out what's right for you is to use a good therapist. But it has to be the right therapist for you.

It's likely that your current therapist doesn't know much about gender issues: to be honest, most therapists don't. So I would recommend you find a specially trained Gender Therapist. Look for a gender therapist in your area (or online) who is familiar with the WPATH Standards of Care http://www.wpath.org/documents/Standards%20of%20Care%20V7%20-%202011%20WPATH.pdf. They could help you make the right decisions for yourself and you could also still continue see your current therapist for support with your other issues.

Nobody is going to laugh about MRDD - several of us have disabilities; some of us are on the autism spectrum, or are bipolar, or have ADHD, etc... so you're not alone, and you're very welcome here.

By the way... it's no business of the county board people what you do in the privacy of your own home. If you choose to experiment with women's clothing in private, you have every right to do so.

[GendrKweer]

We're all family here; no laughs, no worries.

What I'd say is get a gender counselor/therapist, and then, if so advised, get legal hormone replacement therapy. HRT is reversible in the first say six months, meaning if you change your mind, just quit, and no harm done. BUT it will remove the effects of testosterone on your brain, and you WILL think differently about many things, including transition. You might get on HRT and realize hey, this ain't for me at all! Or you may feel better and more "correct" than you've ever felt before, and keep going down that road. Good luck!