Reading these comments I would just like to address how I and I believe most of the Mods and Admin face their tasks.
THESE ARE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS ONLY
This is a support site and to that end we try to support all members. Often the members in the greatest pain and distress are those who lash out at everyone and everything. The reasons they do so are very complex and often they cannot express why they respond and act as they do.
We try to support and guide them; hopefully into behaving in a manner that allows them to communicate and give and receive help.
This is often the sign of success. Without being trite, once people can offer help to others, then they are capable of receiving it. This is particularly true for people who have suffered and do have ongoing suffering. Many of us - no lets be real- all of us have problems. Some of us cope better than others because we have learned mechanisms to cope.
Being on hormones and having surgery isn't learning to cope. Too often I see people who have gone 'all the way' and who do not cope. They still have the underlying problems to deal with, whatever those problems may be.
My philosophy as a Mod has been to give as many chances as I possibly can. To use carrot and stick. To use love and tough love. To use personal messages to engage people in communication. To offer to be there when the nights are too dark.
Some of you know this. It has never ever been a lightly given offer, it never will be, but I will always honour it.
The point where I make a personal decision to give up on someone is not easily decided. It cannot be: since I will very rarely review that decision.
I firmly believe that the Mods and Admin that support YOU, the members of this incredible place, have similar feelings.
It is easy to say enough is enough.
It is harder to say the decision is yours to a particular person.
But ultimately the decision is that of the member.
Cindy
