telling new friends

[oZma]

ummm, should i? I just met a bunch of people this past weekend and as far as I can tell they don't know I'm trans and I'm pretty sure we are going to hang out again.  however I feel guilty a little bit like I should tell them or something? but then again it's none of their business right?  it shouldn't matter so I should just keep quiet unless it comes up for some reason?

I feel conflicted

[Padma]

"should"? Then probably not . I think tell people when you feel like telling them, if you feel like telling them.

[Jam]

I felt conflicted at first but I just decided not to say anything and the feeling went away. Now I feel Im being truthful to them anyways. This is who I am.

[oZma]

do you feel if they found out they would be like hey why didn't you tell me and be mad?   then again its not like having Ebola!

[Padma]

I had a conversation like that once (on a different subject) where a friend got angry and said Why didn't you tell me? And I replied Listen to yourself right now, for the answer to that! Telling people shouldn't make you feel less safe as a result, so choose your people, I think.

[Shantel]

do you feel if they found out they would be like hey why didn't you tell me and be mad?   then again its not like having Ebola!

"Loose lips sink ships!" That being said, I think that you needn't say anything unless the friend brings up some suspicions. If you then feel a need to divulge your personal stuff and they bolt and run after having known you for awhile, then they are too shallow to deserve your friendship. If this has to do with having a sexual relationship, then that is a different matter entirely and you should be up front.

[Rita]

Point is your a woman, don't be afraid of telling them you are.

[oZma]

Point is your a woman, don't be afraid of telling them you are.

* you're

smile

[Kevin Peña]

I have a huge scar running down the middle of my back from an injury (don't ask). Do I just introduce myself by saying, "Hey I'm Diana, I have a huge scar running down my back."? No. The point is that unless they see it or ask about it, I am in no situation where I need to tell. Even if they ask, you don't have to tell if you want to leave your past behind. It's completely understandable. Everyone has their secrets and they have the right to keep them.

[oZma]

I have a huge scar running down the middle of my back from an injury (don't ask). Do I just introduce myself by saying, "Hey I'm Diana, I have a huge scar running down my back."? No. The point is that unless they see it or ask about it, I am in no situation where I need to tell. Even if they ask, you don't have to tell if you want to leave your past behind. It's completely understandable. Everyone has their secrets and they have the right to keep them.

id push a like button for this post

[Brooke777]

Even in "boy" mode I introduce myself to new people using my female name. I am a bit unusual because I am not the slightest bit shy about being trans. The only people that don't know about me are at work, and that is only because it will cause problems till I go full time. All that summed up pretty much is that when you are comfortable enough with yourself to have them know, then you should tell them. It is totally on your timeline.

[Rita]

* you're

smile

Grammar... Not finishing that one 

[Nicolette]

The only issue I see is if they are non-accepting and decide out of spite to 'out' you to everyone they know. I've only outed myself to physicians under doctor-patient confidentiality. Even though, I had thinly disguised disgust from two of them, once they were told, which upset me deeply. Get them to sign an NDA. 

[DanicaCarin]

Hey oZma.....

I would say that the term "friend" is considered different by many people. If you've just met these people, then wait it out a bit. Get a "feel" for them as individuals and as a group. The more people involved in the "group" the more chances there may be one or more who have a problem with you being "trans". Give it some time, and feel them out. You may find you have a handful of "sand" or maybe there is a diamond AKA FRIEND mixed in with the sand! Or maybe you have a handful of diamonds? Time will tell. Just let time be your "friend" first!

I hope that made some sense?

Dani

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I have but one question to ask.  Why?

Do you want them to think of you as a Transwoman.  Or would you prefer to be know simple as a woman.