What made you unhappy today? v2.0

[Jayne]

I've only had 7 - 8 hrs sleep in the last 2 days due to a combination of my insomnia & ridiculously loud music from next door.
I'm in a hostel at the moment & the wardens have told me that there's nothing much they can do apart from politely asking him to turn it down at 2 am at which point he'll turn it down for a few minutes then back up so it goes even louder than before I complained.
All the police tell me to do is to keep a record & go to the council about noise pollution but by the time action is taken I should be re-homed.

The worst part is that this has been dragging on for 2 months & he only owns 3 CD's, 1 is (c)rap music, 1 is dance &v the other is James Blunt, I know every word to the last one as it gets played several times every day (the record so far is 8 times in 24hrs!!)

[Felix]

I feel like a teenager for no good reason. I heard a song that reminded me of the guy I was dating a decade ago, and when I took my T there was a drop of blood and it was intriguing and made me want to cut again, and I want to crawl into bed with my roommate (who was my boyfriend for a couple years a couple years ago) even though I don't think he'd be cool with that, and really I feel just spinny and stupid and crazy.

Pah. I shouldn't be up this late. My cat has the right idea. He's been asleep for at least an hour. I should emulate him and just eat and sleep and bathe. Cats never worry about old boyfriends. asdkfj->-bleeped-<-ajakak.

[Jamie D]

I've only had 7 - 8 hrs sleep in the last 2 days due to a combination of my insomnia & ridiculously loud music from next door.
I'm in a hostel at the moment & the wardens have told me that there's nothing much they can do apart from politely asking him to turn it down at 2 am at which point he'll turn it down for a few minutes then back up so it goes even louder than before I complained.
All the police tell me to do is to keep a record & go to the council about noise pollution but by the time action is taken I should be re-homed.

The worst part is that this has been dragging on for 2 months & he only owns 3 CD's, 1 is (c)rap music, 1 is dance &v the other is James Blunt, I know every word to the last one as it gets played several times every day (the record so far is 8 times in 24hrs!!)

Buy him a cd you like and give it as a gift.

[Jamie D]

More problems with family. This time I think its irreparable. I guess its been irreparable since the beginning of my transition. :/

On top of that, I also realized I might have made a really stupid mistake and lost a great friend.  Hurting...

Never say never, Laura.  Even the widest chasms can be bridged in time.

[Adam (birkin)]

Caffeine. I drank a bunch of pop a few hours ago and now stand no chance of sleeping. It's 7:30 AM for christ's sake. This is the second time this week. I hate trying to sneak in naps during the day too like I am doing something wrong.

[Nero]

I want curly hair and i curled my hair for two days and i looked ugly, i guess i'm ugly wth straight hair.

*sigh* I'm not even going to comment on this except to say you're going about this all wrong. Enjoy your beauty while it lasts. When you're 40, you'll be looking back and kicking yourself for wasting your youth on this looks obsession. You're beautiful no matter how your hair is done. Recognize and appreciate your looks now while you have them. Enjoy the attention. Go strut in front of your mirror a million times. I'm dead serious.

[androgynoid]

My computer is slowly dying. First the wireless went out, then it stopped hibernating properly, then it stopped recognizing USB devices, so I can't sync my iPod. When/if I get a new one, I don't know how I'll manage to get my stuff off it onto a new machine. Hopefully it keeps working long enough for me to Dropbox everything 2GB at a time. Sigh.

I've been borrowing my mom's iPad for interneting, but it doesn't have my IM apps, so I haven't been talking to my internet friends. I wonder how Caleb is doing.

And to top it off, I stumbled out of bed this morning and into the bathroom only to step in poop. I have no idea where it came from. It may have been the dogs, but the door was securely closed. So I cleaned it up, but it still smells like poop. I'm putting off my shower until the smell dissipates.

[Brooke777]

My computer is slowly dying. First the wireless went out, then it stopped hibernating properly, then it stopped recognizing USB devices, so I can't sync my iPod. When/if I get a new one, I don't know how I'll manage to get my stuff off it onto a new machine. Hopefully it keeps working long enough for me to Dropbox everything 2GB at a time. Sigh.

There are a lot of companies out there that will transfer your data from your old HD to the new one for a relatively cheap price.

[HthrRsln]

Well it was actually last Friday. I texted my wife to invite her to join me for brunch at a local deli the following Saturday morning. We've been separated since the week after Thanksgiving, a couple weeks after I told her I was going to transition. I hadn't seen her in a few weeks, since she and I had done the same thing with our son right before he went back to college for the new term.

She replied that "I am not enjoying spending time with you. I am glad your life is heading in a direction that makes you so happy but I find it difficult to see you. Sorry."

I responded by saying: "Okay. I'm sorry too. This is hard for me too. It isn't so much a matter of happiness, as of survival. Be well."

It seems the happier I become about transition, the more it makes her unhappy. Mind you, I am still presenting male in public, so it isn't that I would embarrass her visually at this point. I was really hoping that once we were no longer making each other miserable by trying to live together, we could find the space to be better friends. We still shared 30 years of marriage and raised to sons together. I still care for her, I just cannot continue to pretend to be the person she thought she married. I hope the day will come when she will still want to be friends, even after I am full time, but maybe that won't happen. Kind of sad.

[Adam (birkin)]

I wonder how Caleb is doing.

*waves* hiiiii. I'm glad you're OK.

And to top it off, I stumbled out of bed this morning and into the bathroom only to step in poop. I have no idea where it came from. It may have been the dogs, but the door was securely closed. So I cleaned it up, but it still smells like poop. I'm putting off my shower until the smell dissipates.

That just has me imagining that it was a person, hahaha.

[Adam (birkin)]

I was doing so well and suddenly I sound like a big bag of loose screws.

*hugs* Happens to the best of us, lol. I feel you though. I get overstimulated a lot and sometimes it can just make me feel absolutely insane.

I wish I had something more useful to say but I have to go. You can always shoot me a PM though if you need to chat/vent/whatever.

[King Malachite]

Sometimes I feel like my mom loves my brother more than me. 

[Shantel]

Sometimes I feel like my mom loves my brother more than me.

That reminds me of the Smothers Brothers, before your time Malachite, Tom Smothers said, "Mom always loved you best" Don't let it get you down, parents love their kids, sometimes they show favoritism, but oh well!

[King Malachite]

That reminds me of the Smothers Brothers, before your time Malachite, Tom Smothers said, "Mom always loved you best" Don't let it get you down, parents love their kids, sometimes they show favoritism, but oh well!

She tends to show him a lot more favoritism than me even if she doesn't realizes it which sucks.  I envy him.

[Shantel]

She tends to show him a lot more favoritism than me even if she doesn't realizes it which sucks.  I envy him.

Why don't you respectfully confront her with your feelings about that and ask her what it's all about?

[King Malachite]

Why don't you respectfully confront her with your feelings about that and ask her what it's all about?

I have several times but she just blows me off.  It doesn't help that she drinks a lot either.  She tends to direct her anger towards me more often.

[Shantel]

I have several times but she just blows me off.  It doesn't help that she drinks a lot either.  She tends to direct her anger towards me more often.

Yes, the booze doesn't help! Perhaps a discussion about it with your dad, is he available for a chat?

[King Malachite]

Yes, the booze doesn't help! Perhaps a discussion about it with your dad, is he available for a chat?

He knows that shes a drinker.  On occasion they get together and drink, but they have somewhat of a love-hate relationship.  When I tell him that she's drunk, he just tells me to ignore it and that she will fall asleep eventually/

[V M]

Hugs Malachite, that is a rough situation     My folks use to show favoritism towards my sisters when I was young and it did get me down, but a lot of that has changed now that we're all older

Although my situation isn't the greatest due to injuries and such, I now tend to be looked upon as the more reasonable and sensible one of the bunch... Plus I have a sense of humor, something my sisters never quite seem to comprehend or develop

What I learned is that I had to look within for my own strength and values and I didn't really need the approval of others,  although a nice pat on the back or a hug does feel good from time to time

[King Malachite]

Hugs Malachite, that is a rough situation     My folks use to show favoritism towards my sisters when I was young and it did get me down, but a lot of that has changed now that we're all older

Although my situation isn't the greatest due to injuries and such, I now tend to be looked upon as the more reasonable and sensible one of the bunch... Plus I have a sense of humor, something my sisters never quite seem to comprehend or develop

What I learned is that I had to look within for my own strength and values and I didn't really need the approval of others,  although a nice pat on the back or a hug does feel good from time to time

*big hugs* Thanks VM.  I'm slowly learning to find my own strength too.  It usually seems like I'm always the bad guy and it's getting to a point to where I just don't care anymore.  I try not to argue with my mom too much because I will want a place to recover after top surgery in the future.