What made you unhappy today? v2.0

[King Malachite]

A raggedy cd case fell and broke so now I have to find another raggedy cd case in my room.

[V M]

Being made fun of by some of my creepy neighbors     It would possibly be wrong for me to describe them because it could possibly hurt the feelings of others, My best guess is they hurt my feelings out of angst for their own insecurities

[Shantel]

Being made fun of by some of my creepy neighbors     It would possibly be wrong for me to describe them because it could possibly hurt the feelings of others, My best guess is they hurt my feelings out of angst for their own insecurities

That's sad, but you probably have them pegged right!

[V M]

Maybe I need some work on my people skills...

Now a neighbor has threatened to kick my    as he slapped me on the shoulder, I suppose he thought I would be intimidated

But to his surprise I informed him that I was not afraid of him and that threatening me was not a good idea and that if he ever threatened me again I'd turn his candy   inside out

For some odd reason he has started avoiding me

  Go figure

[King Malachite]

My mother giving away a head of lettuce that I was planning on eating.

[Adam (birkin)]

My mother giving away a head of lettuce that I was planning on eating.

Lol, I just have this image of you biting into a head of lettuce like an apple.

I wish I could just be a woman. I wish I could live happily as a woman because I am tired of all these perfect strangers who feel the need to remind me that I am trans. What infuriates me is I have all the female parts right here, so why can't I just be...you know...happy with them. *sigh* I'm sitting here crying like a big emo because being trans just keeps robbing me of so much of my life.

[Felix]

My neighbor who beats his wife openly calls me a snitch because I call the cops when she screams for help. I could fight him. He's smaller than me. But I have a clean legal record and I don't want to mess that up. He told another neighbor that he's not afraid to die and will eff me up etc etc. He thought I was hiding his wife last time she ran from him. The cops laugh about the whole thing. She won't press charges. The whole thing is annoying. I can't help and I really can't spare the energy it would take to rationalize that so I'm just uneasy about them.

Also I went to catch a city bus and it was 45 minutes late and then when I went to transfer lol the next bus had somebody vomiting on it so we all had to wait for another and a minor errand turned into a 2 hour odyssey of ick.

I wish I could just be a woman. I wish I could live happily as a woman because I am tired of all these perfect strangers who feel the need to remind me that I am trans. What infuriates me is I have all the female parts right here, so why can't I just be...you know...happy with them. *sigh* I'm sitting here crying like a big emo because being trans just keeps robbing me of so much of my life.

Yes. I'm not sure how to cry about it but there's a kind of perpetual vague hopelessness in the background of everything, knowing I can't be normal. When I forget for very long there's always someone sooner or later who will make an issue of it. 

[Shantel]

My neighbor who beats his wife openly calls me a snitch because I call the cops when she screams for help. I could fight him. He's smaller than me. But I have a clean legal record and I don't want to mess that up. He told another neighbor that he's not afraid to die and will eff me up etc etc. He thought I was hiding his wife last time she ran from him. The cops laugh about the whole thing. She won't press charges. The whole thing is annoying. I can't help and I really can't spare the energy it would take to rationalize that so I'm just uneasy about them.

Anyone that beats his wife is indeed the lowest form of bottom feeder. Be careful around them, he's a dangerous lunatic and she's extremely irrational which makes them both dangerous. Cops are always leery of domestic violence calls because they can potentially become victims of either the husband or the wife. Just stay out of that idiot's face and call the cops when they start in and let them handle it. Be safe Felix!

[Keaira]

Yesterday I had to attend a class as part of my unemployment. I was 1 of 4 women in the room. There were about 8 guys. At the start of the class, we had to give a breif intro, giving our name, last job position, what skills we bring, etc. Listening to the others it hit me just how different I am from other women. I had more in common with the men in that room than the women. And I hated it. I felt like I might as well have said, "Hi I'm Keaira and I'm transgender." *sigh* I am so F'd up.

[Shantel]

Yesterday I had to attend a class as part of my unemployment. I was 1 of 4 women in the room. There were about 8 guys. At the start of the class, we had to give a breif intro, giving our name, last job position, what skills we bring, etc. Listening to the others it hit me just how different I am from other women. I had more in common with the men in that room than the women. And I hated it. I felt like I might as well have said, "Hi I'm Keaira and I'm transgender." *sigh* I am so F'd up.

Don't be too harsh on yourself Keaira. This was the enlightening kind of moment that struck me at one time whereby I concluded that I can't go back but going forward isn't going to avail much and I settled into my now androgynous lifestyle and learned to be comfortable in my skin such as it is.

[Adam (birkin)]

Yesterday I had to attend a class as part of my unemployment. I was 1 of 4 women in the room. There were about 8 guys. At the start of the class, we had to give a breif intro, giving our name, last job position, what skills we bring, etc. Listening to the others it hit me just how different I am from other women. I had more in common with the men in that room than the women. And I hated it. I felt like I might as well have said, "Hi I'm Keaira and I'm transgender." *sigh* I am so F'd up.

No, you're badass because you do things that a lot of other women would shy away from and tell themselves they couldn't do.

I'm still feeling a bit rattled myself though. I want to go to the natural foods store to get some food, but that being one of the more liberal places in town, I may get misgendered. I have passed there, but I have also been misgendered there recently. I never thought I'd come to hate liberal places, they used to be my one "refuge" from it all. But again, these people who apparently can tell I am trans since they know SOOOO much about it don't know enough to use the right pronouns and keep their face shut. Lmao.

[suzifrommd]

I had more in common with the men in that room than the women.

Keaira, can I try to frame this in another way?

A lot of cis women have this feeling.

There are a lot of cis women whose employment and personal histories give them more in common with men. I know a few women like that, and they talk about how uncomfortable they feel in the company of other women. Sometimes they feel like outsiders around other women because of their choices, even though they are totally women and don't want to hang around men.

So, what you're having is a very authentic FEMALE experience.

Does this help?

[FTMDiaries]

Had to take my daughters out clothes shopping today, to get their 'spring collection'. My eldest is a fashionista but my youngest couldn't care less about clothes as long as she's warm & dry. So my eldest went all Gok Wan on my youngest.

The trouble is: there's only so much wandering around women's clothing & lingerie shops that a transitioning gay transguy can take before the dysphoria hits like a sledgehammer.

So I coped for two hours before running out of patience & insisting on stopping for lunch. Only to then have a (gay) barista in Starbucks address me as 'madam'.    The difficult thing was that I had my daughters with me. Normally if I'm on my own I can correct whoever misgendered me, but I have to be considerate of my kids' feeling. So instead of correcting him like I usually do I just got flustered and messed up my order.

He realised what he did when he asked for my name to write it on the cup... and I looked at him pointedly abd told him my obviously male name. He went very quiet & left the bar area after taking my order. That's right, bro: the T in LGBT isn't silent - remember that next time. No apology was forthcoming, though. As per usual.

[Shantel]

There are a lot of cis women whose employment and personal histories give them more in common with men. I know a few women like that, and they talk about how uncomfortable they feel in the company of other women. Sometimes they feel like outsiders around other women because of their choices, even though they are totally women and don't want to hang around men.

I have observed that quite often myself and it is certainly a valid point Suzi!

[Nero]

Yesterday I had to attend a class as part of my unemployment. I was 1 of 4 women in the room. There were about 8 guys. At the start of the class, we had to give a breif intro, giving our name, last job position, what skills we bring, etc. Listening to the others it hit me just how different I am from other women. I had more in common with the men in that room than the women. And I hated it. I felt like I might as well have said, "Hi I'm Keaira and I'm transgender." *sigh* I am so F'd up.

You know Keaira, as much as a lot of us like to go on about how we never truly lived the life of our birth sex, there's a lot more to it that is sometimes beyond our control. You were born male, taught male things, had male opportunities, you took them - so what? (I'm guessing based on your post)

There is still an imbalance in what men and women are offered and pushed toward in this world. Boys are raised to 'be somebody', girls are raised to be an object of desire basically. Not just through your folks, but based on all the information from the outside world. Maybe you took advantage of opportunities, jobs, and such that you may not have gotten or were even aware of if born female. That doesn't make you any less woman than those other 3. How do you know those other women wouldn't have done the same in your position?
Honestly, I think sometimes trans women have a leg up on other women in some areas. And that is by no means a bad thing in a sexist society.

[Edge]

I have to clean my apartment.
I once again got my hopes up about meeting people who liked the same folklore as me. Turns out they are a guy who claims to like werewolves, but hasn't read most of the folklore and mythology associated with werewolves (and shows no interest in doing so) and someone who actually meant the more modern portrayals of faeries (which are, for the most part, the complete opposite of faeries in folklore). I know differences are fine and all that, but it does get lonely.
Also, dysphoria.

[krakenshay]

I've been having...I suppose what can only be labelled as sexist thoughts lately.

I am having the same thing happen

[Adam (birkin)]

I am having the same thing happen

Lolol, I was like "when did I post that?" =/ That's an old post. Those thoughts have passed now.

My brother told me to add an evil face to this post for some reason 

[ZoeM]

I keep seeing suicide posts. I wish I could make better answers to them - I wish I knew the One True Way to keep people from going over the edge. But I don't, and there's a terrible stark sadness in wondering if a person I talked to just now will live to see tomorrow.

[Constance]

Got sir'd twice today.