made a doctor's appointment

[Edge]

I finally made a doctor's appointment after putting it off. It's not until November, but it's set.
I'm really very nervous. This doctor met me when I was presenting female and pregnant. I have given her no signs that I'm trans. And now I have to come out to her. What if she says I must be wrong because I'm a "mom" or because I wasn't butch?
What if I find out I can't transition in this province?
I'm also nervous because I'm afraid of the unknown. What if I'm wrong about myself? Of course, in a few minutes, I'll wonder how I could ever doubt it, but I do sometimes. My therapist is pretty convinced I'm trans and thinks that the doubt is caused by stress.

[suzifrommd]

What if she says I must be wrong because I'm a "mom" or because I wasn't butch?

I'd say then that this is not the right doctor for you. There must be a doctor somewhere who's entered the 21st century.

What if I find out I can't transition in this province?

You don't need anyone's permission to transition. As for hormones, you are a male, and therefore deserve medical treatment for your transgender. To refuse you would be malpractice.

I'm also nervous because I'm afraid of the unknown. What if I'm wrong about myself?

We all feel this way. But you have inside you the wisdom to know the right route. You can trust that wisdom.

[Adam (birkin)]

You don't need anyone's permission to transition. As for hormones, you are a male, and therefore deserve medical treatment for your transgender. To refuse you would be malpractice.

Actually, due to our public health care system (Canada) it's not really that simple. The gatekeepers are there and there's a pretty standard way to approach these things, based on the province. So his concern is pretty valid.

As for the doctor...just be honest. Walk in, have your information, and just explain what's going on. A number of trans people have children, or try to conform to their birth sex's social expectations prior to transition. I had an easy time getting T because I was confident that it was what I wanted and I thought it out thoroughly, knowing all the physical, social, and legal ramifications of choosing to take hormones. That's the best thing you can have on your side, and I know from your posts, you have REALLY thought this out. So you should be fine.

[Edge]

It's not so much refusing that I'm afraid of. It's whether or not anything is available. I've heard of people having to go out of the province to see an endocrinologist and, depending on what gatekeeping there is, there may not be the resources available.

[Taka]

what you fear would be the reason why i still hesitate to seek any professional help at all.
i'm pretty sure i can live with it without changing my body, so why risk everything to possibly get nothing...