What "order" are you going in?

[limepepsi]

So, I have to ask. Did you guys get your name changed before or after you started hormones? Legally, I mean. Were you completely dressing as a male before hormones? I've been on hormones a week now, and I dress as male as much as possible (too poor to buy a whole new wardrobe, so I stick with t-shirts and shorts). I'm not sure when I'll be able to legally change my name, but my friends all refer to me as Simon. My classes are all online and I don't have a job at the moment (unfortunately), so I didn't see any reason to change it at this moment, other than the obvious reasons of feeling more like myself.

[aleon515]

Ok, I am a very new to this whole thing transguy. Just to say there are no laws on this. You don't ever have to do anything at all-- medically transition in any way.

Unless you live in a much more conservative place than I do, almost nobody has given me even a sidelong glance even though I dress in a completely male way. You don't need T for this at all. (Of course, I don't usually pass either, though I confuse quite a few people, which isn't my intention, but I don't mind if that's all I can do.) My friends and even some of my enemies call me by my chosen rather than given name. My chosen name is androgynous. I don't ask for the pronouns as the only place it makes sense is at work. I am not actually "out" there.

Strangely my underwear cost more than most of my clothes as everythign else is from the thrift store. However, it has taken more than a little trial and error.

I am currently thinking about T. I am also in gender therapy, which is helping me sort the whole mess out. I actually am thinking of doing a legal name change when I have more time. As an adult there are so many things to change, seems like it will take awhile. If there is a trans center or lgbt center near you that has groups, this can be great.

So to answer your question directly it might be like this for me: dress; informal name change; gender therapy (though I am not too concerned re: a "T letter" I am thinking I might go towards informed consent anyway); formal name change/T.


--Jay J

[Ayden]

I didn't buy an entire new wardrobe at all. I couldn't afford it, and even if I could, I'm cheap. I wore my old clothes until they disintegrated and then replaced them slowly with men's clothing. I still have women's underwear and socks though - those are hanging on strong. Once they melt into nothing, I'll probably switch over.

I went into therapy, dressed pretty andro, always had my hair short so that wasn't an issue, and then got on hormones. I still haven't changed my name and likely won't for a long time. I'm living abroad, so I would have to change my passport, Resident Card, re-register with the Japanese government just to name a few so it isn't worth the hassle, not to mention Japan would likely make it one heck of a pain (beaurocracy moves so slowly here). When I do change my name, I probably won't go back and change my diplomas or anything, since I have no plans to erase that part of my life. I also won't have my gender marker changed for a while since I am legally married.

So, I got my hormones, am slowly changing my clothing still (though most things are unisex aside from underwear), and am wanting top surgery late next year. Other than that, I have no real order I'm going with.

Remember: it's your journey, your story and you can take it at your own pace and whatever makes you feel comfortable.

[Justin 21]

I always dressed  in male clothing, and started T about 2 months ago and just recently changed my name, at the moment I am filling out paperwork for my gender market change I really hope it gets approved before Christmas, a new drivers licence would be a great gift to myself

[MaxAloysius]

I wore exclusively male clothing right from puberty (save for those terrible family-pressure occassions), and changed my name legally a year before starting hormones. I have yet to change my gender on most paperwork though.

[Natkat]

for me it was:

1, dressing as male,
2, name change,
3, homones,
4, top-surgery

[unknown]

I started using male clothing a year ago. I'm going to change my name and start homons as soon as I can.

[Anon]

I always dressed like a guy, started T last year, and now I'm trying to change my middle name - which is a lengthy and annoying process since I'm under 19. :/
Gender markers on my gov. ID may never be legally changed because I'm not interested in permanently sterilizing myself.

[sneakersjay]

I planned the name change to coincide more or less with the time I'd be passing as male and have to come out at work.  You know, about the time where presenting ID that has an F name and an F gender marker might be embarrassing.  That was about 3 months into transition.  So start looking at what your state requires, because it usually takes a few months to process the paperwork, get court dates, etc.


Jay

[Ruthven]

I want to get my hair cut first. I only have like a sweatshirt and some sweatpants that I'd feel alright going out in, so I need some new clothes.... Umm...I'm not sure if T will come before or after top surgery, but I'm not ready for either at the moment so I'll figure it out as time goes on. And I'm actually already sorta flat and small, so I think top surgery is something that I can hold off longer. I would like to see a therapist soon. Just to talk about all this and everything, and help me come out to my mum. The legal name change will happen as soon as I've been presenting as how I truly feel long enough. I've decided on my first name, still working on my middle and last.

[Make_It_Good]

Ive always dressed male. I legally began the process at 15 i.e seeing my GP, seeing professionals and a gender clinic, all in the hopes of getting on T and top and lower surgery asap.
My friends and everyone (except for my close family at the time) called me by my male name and used male pronouns, so, I didnt at the time feel the NEED to legally change the name yet, since it would cost and I was poor as hell.
  However, I was then given the ok to start T. I had proof of having worked from the age of 15 as male, and stealth, BUT I was not allowed to actually start taking T untill I had officially changed my name. So, this delayed T by about 2 months (which is nothing now, but at the time it felt like another year had been added).
    So, while for some people it seems you can do things in whatever order, is feasible, some places have you jump through specific hoops to get to the next step, and no shortcuts.
    So if whereever you are, may have this in place (that a name change is part of you RLE) then you may aswell do it now if you can. Aslong as there is no reason like family stopping you or lack of funds, I say you might aswell change your name, you might aswell do all you can now, to help things later. Or else its just another thing to be completed later.

So for me the order went:
- Always dressed male
- Went by male name
- RLE
- Legally changed my name
- T
- Top surgery
- Lower surgery
   Not changing your name could count against you in your RLE, so could delay everything else.

[RagingShadow]

my order is/was:
dress completely as male/get binder Early 2009
start hormone blockers late 2009
start paperwork for name change early 2010
start testosterone mid 2010
complete name change mid 2010
enter high school as male September 2010
have top surgery mid 2011
start/complete gender change paperwork September 2011
pack daily mid 2012

[aleon515]

  Not changing your name could count against you in your RLE, so could delay everything else.

This might be the first time I have ever seen RLE (real life experience) refers to living as a male, in the ftm group. I have never seen anyone actually doing this as a test. It seems like almost all of them (except for the younger guys) going on T first. Many of us could NOT live as male without T, as no one would treat us male if not on T. The best I can see is sometimes people aren't sure. I did see a video on the a ftm guy in the UK and they required this. Don't know how old the video was. And the guy was very young. Also I see many people doing this gradually. They are male first in certain circumstances and times. I do not plan on coming out as male at work ever, I retire at the end of the school year, so I don't see the point. Teaching, despite the school being required to accommodate me legally, is a very conservative profession. 

BTW,  I didn't put top surgery. I see myself as going on T first.

Also RS mentioned hormone blockers. That's because he transitioned very young. Isn't needed otherwise, I thought this might be confusing to some people.

--Jay J

[RagingShadow]

yea, forgot to mention the Jay J, thanks!

[Make_It_Good]

This might be the first time I have ever seen RLE (real life experience) refers to living as a male, in the ftm group. I have never seen anyone actually doing this as a test. It seems like almost all of them (except for the younger guys) going on T first. Many of us could NOT live as male without T, as no one would treat us male if not on T. The best I can see is sometimes people aren't sure. I did see a video on the a ftm guy in the UK and they required this. Don't know how old the video was. And the guy was very young. Also I see many people doing this gradually. They are male first in certain circumstances and times. I do not plan on coming out as male at work ever, I retire at the end of the school year, so I don't see the point. Teaching, despite the school being required to accommodate me legally, is a very conservative profession. 

BTW,  I didn't put top surgery. I see myself as going on T first.

Also RS mentioned hormone blockers. That's because he transitioned very young. Isn't needed otherwise, I thought this might be confusing to some people.

--Jay J

Yeah, about RLE, my clinic (but clinics across the UK are all different) seemed very strict in following certain procedures. I think they were lenient in some cases, i.e if someone really wouldnt pass at all without T, they may allow them to start a few months into the RLE, but they wanted proof that you had lived full time. And this full time, they only consider to have started from when you are first seen at this clinic, regardless of what boxes youve ticked outside of their care, (atleast, this was how it was when I was initially being seen). Also, I was under 20 when they saw me, so they held to their strict policies to make sure they could guarantee I wasnt going through a phase I guess.
  I could have gone on T at 15/16 if Id had the money to go private, but couldnt afford it, so had to take this route. But, as hard as it was, I came out happier the other end and it was worth it :p

[Paul]

---I've dressed male ever since I can remember (well okay once I was finally allowed to pick out my own clothes).  I was ALWAYS stealing my brother's stuff when we were younger and my mom used to get SO pissed lol.
---Chopped all of my hair off
---Started Gender Therapy
---Came Out
---Started Binding
---Started going by my male name
---Legally changed my name and updated all of my paperwork
---Started T
---Top surgery set for May of next year.

[Nygeel]

I'm going in the awkward order.

Came out in mid-late 2005
Started wearing boy/men's clothes almost exclusively in 1997
Started binding almost daily in 2005/2006
Started therapy in 2006...which is also when I quit therapy.
Socially transitioned with friends in...2006/2007
Started testosterone in Nov 2010
Have not had surgery (don't intend on it right now), have not had my name or gender marker changed yet.

[insideontheoutside]

Save for a few instances where my mom stuck me in girl clothes as a child, I've been wearing male clothes my whole life. I also had short hair most of my life (the longer hair is a more recent thing really).

Never did a name change though I was on T for a very short period of time. Not on anything now. I may do a name change at some point, but it's a lot of problem and my name isn't really something that bothers me a lot.

I would love to get chest surgery but I'm really kind of personally anti-surgery. If I could just snap my fingers and do it I would in a heartbeat though.

So I'm not really transitioning to anything. I'm just exploring better ways to be ok with parts of myself.

[Alex308]

I've dressed in guys clothes, had short hair and bound for forever. When I decided to transition I started with therapy(which turned out to be pointless cuz I did informed consent anyways but it only took like 2 months so it wasn't that bad). I did the official name change before I got the hormones but it was because I had to wait like a month for an appointment with the doctor I wanted and the name change was quicker. Even though the name change was already official I didn't ask anyone to start calling me it until the day I started the hormones. I decided it made the most sense because I felt like people would take it more seriously if I was taking hormones then just doing a name change. Also, then I could ask people to switch pronouns. Essentially I figured I'd do it all at once, the less times I have to tell people things the better.

[limepepsi]

Wow, so many responses! I'm so glad I got to read all of your experiences. When I first came out to my friends and coworkers, I told them, call me Simon, but still she/her/hers. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to start on hormones for a while, and like a lot of you have said, I Was still wearing female clothes--not enough money to buy new ones. I didn't want customers to be uncomfortable when my coworkers said, "Go to Simon, he can help you" and they would be looking around for a guy. I still wear panties (only own a few pair of briefs/boxers), and my wardrobe mostly consists of mens shorts and t-shirts. I have a binder, but it is wayyyyyyyy to tight, I bought the wrong size. That being said, I only wear it if I'm hanging out with friends or something. If I'm just running to the post office or to pick up some dinner or something, I don't bother with it. I know this will be challenging when I have facial hair and breasts (or a deep voice and breasts, whatever), but like I said, my classes are online, I don't have a job to worry about presenting myself one way or another, so I'm not too concerned.