stealth and transphobia

[Raneth]

so I'm stealth (more or less) and was recently at my local pub when two guys I was with started talking about "ladyboys".  The things they were saying weren't particularly hostile, just ignorant with a little bit of "positive" stereotyping.  I was quite upset by it and just walked off.  None of the other people I was with seemed to think there was anything wrong with what they were saying, but then they didn't know I was trans either.  All of them were tolerant accepting people and really wouldn't have had a problem with me if I'd outed myself.

For those of you who are stealth, how do you deal with these sorts of situations? Do you out yourself and tell people that what they are saying is wrong or just let it slide?

[yasuko14]

My usual response is to stare and make a disgusted face..
Men are usually taking themselves up and acting macho in front of each other and women around them. If a beautiful woman is sitting across from them and quite obviously thinks they are disgusting pigs it usually makes them think about what they just said.

I've had guys act homophobic as a way to seem cool around me and I just respond with "Whats your problem?" and they get it, that its not gonna earn them points for being a pig/->-bleeped-<-.

[Natkat]

I had this problem as well, and I really didnt knew what to do either so I just ended up leaving.

[Wynternight]

You can't fix stupid. I have friends like this and I've tried to explain to them (using small words, talking slowly, and drawing pictures with crayons) that someone else being trans isn't their business and has nothing to do with them but there's just so far I can go without outing myself to them so I stop at a certain point. Too many people feel they have an obligation to moralize and judge others, the world is full of stupid, ignorant people.

[Alainaluvsu]

I just roll my eyes... and if they look at me with that stupid grin like "do you approve?" I just smirk like they're morons.

[mm]

When guys have been drinking in a pub for awhile it is impossible to reason with them.  I usually leave them alone for awhile and if they keep it up leave.