I can't stand talking to women

[oZma]

ok  so I just got off the phone with a receptionist lady and I feel f'ing depressed... I was just thinking the whole time how jealous I was of her voice and thinking about how mine barely passes 🙁 ugghhhh I can't stand living like this.  just being constantly aware of the limitations of my femininity. 

this is my voice when talking to myself
🔗 [Link: youtube.com/watch/]

[Violet Bloom]

  You sound totally normal.  Seeing this video after only pictures and words I'm blown way by just how normal and natural you are as a complete presentation - even better than I expected, especially since I keep hearing you giving yourself so little credit.  I'm not sure what you seek.  There are plenty of women I don't want to sound like or act like.  You seem to be desperately seeking something you don't need to attain.  Ironically your self-doubt may be the most convincing trait that you're a typical female.  Just be yourself.

[eli77]

Um... you sound like any other girl. Like really. I don't even know what I would criticize in your voice. And... that's coming from someone who has been stealth for over a year now, just for reference. And if you want to squeak and scream and whatever, it will come with time.

Also... I'm 28. I just moved to a new city. It's weird and difficult. And the best advice I got was: that's normal. Moving cities is just hard and scary. On top of being full time for such a short time... Six months is nothing. Everything doesn't have to be perfect right away. You are putting a ton of pressure on here. I mean, give yourself a break.

Sometimes with those of us who have it "easy," who are passable and attractive and whatever, it's like we have all these expectations of ourselves to be normal and perfect and okay all the time. But being trans can still be really hard and alienating and it takes a while before you stop feeling like you are walking around with this big secret hanging over you. And that's okay. It's okay to not be okay all the time.

Try to celebrate the things that do go well. My sister, when she was going through a rough time, was like: anything after pulling yourself from bed in the morning is a win. And keep in mind where things were before. I find comparing myself to "where I was a year ago" is more useful for my brain than "normal girl my age" (whatever the hell normal is other than a setting on a washing machine anyway).

[oZma]

thank you for your replies... they help

summing everything together, I'm lonely and it's hard to only think about yourself... your mind plays tricks on you. 

[Nicolette]

thank you for your replies... they help

summing everything together, I'm lonely and it's hard to only think about yourself... your mind plays tricks on you.

Love your voice too. Your sadness makes me  . You need to find a friend in your area you can completely trust and confide in. I'm guessing you're feeling a kind of guilt, a sense that you're being dishonest with others. You want to be upfront with others but are afraid of being rejected. And you can't allow yourself to get close to others because of this barrier. Or something like that.

[Kevin Peña]

I thought that was a biological female in that video. Holy crap. 

Anywho, I can't stand talking to really girly women, but for completely different reasons. Their squeals and loud volume... 

[oZma]

Love your voice too. Your sadness makes me  . You need to find a friend in your area you can completely trust and confide in. I'm guessing you're feeling a kind of guilt, a sense that you're being dishonest with others. You want to be upfront with others but are afraid of being rejected. And you can't allow yourself to get close to others because of this barrier. Or something like that.

I think this is exactly it.... thank you for helping me find the words

[Ave]

Let me just say that on a purely physical basis, you pass lol.

As for the voice, it's not unpassable but it is a tad low. However, I know a lot of professional white woman in the city who sound exactly like you, in fact, I think I read a study about how women dropped their voice IDK how much to sound more professional, so I think a deeper pitch on a girl signals you have some status.

[JenniL]

Nothing wrong with your voice whatsoever. For a moment I thought it was someone else doing the voice but honestly you sound like a majority of the women I work with and I work in a call center pretty much. So I am around all types of girls.

But honestly, you are too hard on yourself, give yourself a little more credit. You sounded totally like a woman to me.

I am pretty sure almost everyone is seeking companionship or long term relationships, which can be hard during transition, but with time it will come. In the meantime, find a friend in your area that you can completely trust and confide in, as Tesla pointed out.

You look great as well girl  🙂

[DanicaCarin]

For some reason, I can't watch the video. It says "private". Am I being "silly" or did oZma ban me? 😛 No really, I would love to hear your voice oZma! From the still image, it looks like you are a CIS female. Everything from your arms, hands, face, hair, ect. You really have gone through a "REMARKABLE" change!

Best,
Dani

[Assoluta]

YouTube Hilary Devey from dragons den, Mariela Frostrup or Zarah Leander to hear GG voices lower than most people's here

[Apples Mk.II]

🔗


Does this count as low?


Yes, it is a woman.

[Nicolette]

🔗


Does this count as low?


Yes, it is a woman.

Probably not. All women can lower their pitch lower than they normally use. I knew a woman who could do a Barry White impression. However, it wasn't something she did during normal conversation. Her range normally was quite high.

[rachl]

The way we sound to ourselves (and especially in our heads as we speak) is often very, very different from how we sound to others. This has been, and continues to be, a huge mental barrier for me.

[Kevin Peña]

The way we sound to ourselves (and especially in our heads as we speak) is often very, very different from how we sound to others. This has been, and continues to be, a huge mental barrier for me.

Get a tape recorder.

[rachl]

My point is that EVEN WHEN WE HEAR IT FROM A TAPE RECORDER, it will sound different to us than it does to others. It's a mental hurdle: some face the same thing when looking in the mirror.

[Kevin Peña]

Well, maybe you can get an impartial person to judge your voice in private. Maybe a friend who knows that you're trans. Either that or try to keep an objective mind.

[rachl]

...if you're talking to me, I'm not sure why. (I'm not trying to be bitchy.) I'm just trying to help OP understand that people often perceive themselves different than others do, and asking others isn't always enough to get over that mental block.

[Kevin Peña]

Oh, I thought you were referring to yourself. Also, I never called you bitchy. I apologize for the confusion.

[Hopefull]

I wonder what i will sound like? 
Your voice is only 'good' if you believe it is. I don't quite believe there is any certain voice for a gender.
Women's voices are usually high, but i say USUALLY! Not always.